Somewhere Warm and Tropical
by Katherinosaurus
Summary: After protecting the galaxy from the Reaper threat, Shepard has to piece her life - and her crew - back together. Turns out, things don't get any easier after you've saved the world. They just get inextricably more complicated. (Post-Destruction ending. Massive spoilers, of course. Rated for violence, language, and citruses of many scandalous varieties. Shakarian.)
1. Chapter 1

_24 October 2186, Location Unknown_

Never in my life - or in my second life - was I so unwilling to wake up.

I could feel a weight pressing down on my forehead, sinking into my eyelids and making them impossible to open.

I could remember the last few moments on the Citadel - arguing with that obnoxious glowing AI, shooting the hell out of the Catalyst's structure, giving in to the urge to turn the gun on that obnoxious glowing AI after the job was done - and, if this wasn't death, I figured I'd earned some goddamned rest.

But maybe it was death. Maybe this was what it was like. I couldn't remember much of dying the first time around, but maybe that's what happens when a sect of racist terrorists resurrects you - you lose your memory of the other side. Of the void.

That's what this felt like. A Void. No sound, no lights, no anything. Absence. But then, if this was death, my brain wouldn't be able to make sense of this Void, or even consider the possibility of the Void, because it would be, well, dead.

But maybe my brain was dead and this was what it was like to cease to exist. Nothing but me and my thoughts and an endless eternity floating through nothingness.

I felt like I wanted to vomit.

Now, there was something else to ponder - I had a stomach. I could feel the nausea churning down beneath my chest. I had a body, or at least I felt like I had a body. Maybe I was just imagining it.

My mind felt momentarily jostled, like some outside force had grabbed me and my train of thought hiccuped. The feeling in my stomach growled.

Nope. Definitely not imagining it.

So I did have my body. Or a body. Maybe Cerberus rebuilt me again, but that was unlikely given that I'd shot their leader and sent him straight to hell. Maybe Miranda?

No, she was dead, too.

My stomach dropped a little at that particular memory, adding to the confusion and the nausea and the decided unpleasantness of the damned Void.

I should wake up, I thought. I should wake up and figure out what the hell was going on, but no matter how hard I fought I couldn't get my damn eyelids to open. It was almost like I'd forgotten how.

A piercing tone rang through my head and I gritted my teeth, wanting desperately to clamp my hands over my ears and click my heels together and transport myself to somewhere warm and tropical.

Somewhere warm and tropical. Oh, no.

Now my stomach was backflipping.

Get up, Shepard. Get the hell up. You're not dead. You're not dying.

Wake up.

* * *

I managed a groan and cracked one eyelid open, only to have it fall shut immediately. I coughed and gagged around a tube someone had stuck down my throat.

"Oh- Oh my goddess, she's waking up," a panicked Asari voice said to my right. "She's- she's coming out of it! Doctor!"

Footsteps. More voices. Beeping machines and a sterile smell that could only mean I was in a hospital.

Everything hurt. Everything. I remembered being pretty banged up towards the end of it all, but damn, every inch of my body - or what I hoped was my body - was agony.

I wheezed and gagged on the tube again.

"Commander," another voice said. This one was male. Human. "Don't fight it, Commander. We're going to sedate you."

I wanted to shake my head. The last thing I needed was another trip to Nowhere Land, but even the idea of turning my head sent a shot of pain down my neck. Instead, I groaned a little louder in what I hoped sounded like protest.

"Calm down, Commander. Calm down."

I heard the hiss of an injection in the general vicinity of my arm, and then I slipped backwards into the darkness.

* * *

Damn it. Didn't that idiot realize how hard I was working to stay awake?

All that energy for nothing.

At least the Void had numbness. That was something. Maybe I could take this opportunity to gather my thoughts. Make a game plan. Decide where the hell a person goes after they've saved the whole damned galaxy.

I already knew the answer to that, of course. Somewhere warm and tropical.

It was hard to breathe for a minute. A gob of emotion caught in my throat and I considered the possibility that maybe-

No. If I was alive, someone as stubborn as him had to be, too.

Get it together, Shepard. I swallowed hard.

I thought back to what the AI - the Catalyst - had said on the Citadel. I hadn't just destroyed the Reapers. I'd destroyed all synthetics, and much of their technology.

My chest tightened when I thought about EDI and the Geth and all of the other innocent synthetics, but really, what choice did I have? I didn't fight my way across the galaxy multiple times, suffocate to death in the vacuum of space, and watch everyone I've ever cared about suffer just to give in when it counted. I wasn't going to join my enemy. Not then, not ever.

I knew I'd made the right call, but I couldn't shake the guilt when I thought what it must have done to Joker. I couldn't help but hear Legion's voice echoing in my head.

"Does this unit have a soul?"

I knew the answer. I knew that synthetics had as much potential for good as organics did. But I knew that I could never have chosen to merge synthetics and organics and make such a world-shifting decision for every soul on every planet. It wasn't my call to make. There was no guarantee it would have worked. And I'd be damned if I'd give my own life to become one with the Reapers.

It was the only choice I could have made.

But what had happened to the Normandy? Did they make it through the relay in time? Were they set adrift in space when EDI was disabled, unable to communicate with anyone? Did they land somewhere safely?

Somewhere warm and tropical?

Damn it. I couldn't make a game plan if I didn't even know what sport I was playing. Try again, Shepard. You can do this.

Wake up.

* * *

This time, the first thing I did was vomit. Got it right out of the way. Just lurched forward and unleashed the almighty gates of spew.

There. That felt better.

The second thing I did was whimper, because although my nausea was taken care of, the spasms of my abdomen caused wave after wave of excruciating, stabbing pains to wrack my body.

Which, you know, didn't feel great.

I was hit by a sudden wave of awareness, as if all my senses had decided to get their shit together and begin relaying information to my brain at once. I could smell the putrid contents of my stomach over that trademark hospital sterility. I could hear voices and tech beeping and doors whooshing open and shut. I could feel the cold air and the scratchy sheets and the relative comfort of the cot. I could taste the dry acidity in my mouth. I could see.

I could see white walls, a white floor, and the cot - white except the part I'd ruined with my retching - and I could see that, thankfully, there was nobody else in the room with me.

I could see skyscrapers through the window. Human skyscrapers, reflecting blue skies and the kind of clouds that I'd only ever seen on one planet.

Somehow, I'd made it back to Earth.

I collapsed back in the bed and drew a rattling breath. I might have been laying in my own puke, but at least there wasn't anyone present to poke or prod me, for the moment. At least I could move. And see. And there weren't any tubes choking me.

For now, at least, I was alive.

* * *

_A/N: Whelp, here we go! Shepard is back in action, and I am back to writing fanfic. I've been completely swept off of my feet by the Mass Effect series over the past couple of months, and I've had this story brewing in my brain ever since I finished my first play-through. _

_Let me know what you think! I'm going to do my best to update daily/every other day, but we'll see how that goes. _

_Also, I'm toying with whether or not I want to use my Shepard's first name in this fic - I always feel a little distracted when fics do that, because I feel like it removes the possibility for me to insert myself/my Shepard into the story I'm reading, but then again this story _is_ about my Shepard, so I'm torn. What do you think?_


	2. Chapter 2

_25 October 2186, Victoria Memorial Hospital, Earth_

Damn, I'd forgotten how good a shower felt.

Eyes closed, I let the water run over my shoulders and shivered a little as it streamed down my spine. Steam rose from the floor and I breathed it in, hoping it would cure me of the wretched cough I'd picked up somewhere in the last few months of unconsciousness.

The human surgeon who'd knocked me out the previous day - Dr. Taust - had filled me in on what I'd missed. After a half-hour of lying alone in my hospital room, collecting my thoughts, I'd resigned myself and pressed the call button, summoning a flurry of nurses and doctors and tests and immunizations and questions, questions, questions.

I banished them all after a few hours, but Taust had been kind enough to stay and answer my own questions, to the best of his abilities.

Apparently, three and a half months had passed since the battle for Earth came to a close. He told me the results of my actions were spectacular and wide-reaching: a pulse of red-orange light swept through the galaxy and took synthetic life with it in a giant, inescapable wave.

I thought he might have been exaggerating his descriptions, but I'd said nothing and let him continue.

He said that synthetics were devastated. VIs cut out, the Geth vanished, autopilots malfunctioned, the relays and many other structures were heavily damaged, but the Reapers were wiped from the face of the galaxy.

All at once, the war was over.

He told me how shell-shocked everyone was, after the fact. Said it was like everyone took a brief pause, holding their breath in disbelief because it seemed so unlikely that the races of the galaxy would actually see a light at the end of that dark, destructive tunnel.

He had a poetic way of talking, for a doctor.

A new Council was elected in the following weeks, with new positions representing the Quarians and Krogans. Technology had encountered a small step backwards in the wake of the Catalyst's wave, but the geniuses of the galaxy wasted no time in returning things to their original conditions. Repairs began and everyone slowly picked up the pieces that were left behind.

A handful of relays were approaching working condition. The Citadel had been towed from Earth's orbit and was awaiting transport back to the Serpent Nebula for its continuing reconstruction. I was surprised by how quickly the galaxy seemed to have brushed itself off, in my absence.

I asked him about the Normandy, but he said he didn't know what had become of her. I was too exhausted to tell if he was keeping anything from me or not.

They'd found me three days after the end, when teams were clearing the aftermath from the Citadel. Dr. Taust was told that the marine who found me fainted when he realized I was still alive.

I chuckled to myself at the image and then winced.

Taust had also informed me of my injuries: a cracked skull, broken jaw, broken nose, broken cheekbone and eye socket, two broken cervical vertebrae, seven broken ribs, a shattered elbow, more fingers broken than unbroken, chemical burns over a third of my body, countless more broken bones that I couldn't remember, and massive blood loss.

After he'd rattled off the list, I felt more than relieved to have been unconscious for most of the healing process. With painkillers, I could walk on my own, but I was still sore as all hell.

I cupped my hands together, collected a small pool of water, and gingerly brought it to my face. I sighed into the warmth.

I tried to scrub my back, twisting this way and that before finally deciding - much to my frustration - that I wasn't flexible enough to reach around my own body. My feeble attempts to bend at the waist and scrub my legs were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Commander Shepard?" the Asari nurse - Elysa - called. "Commander Shepard, Dr. Atezea is here for your psych evaluation."

I growled and switched off the water.

"Can't it wait a few minutes?" I said, sounding more annoyed than I meant to.

"I'm afraid not, Captain Shepard," another Asari - Dr. Atezea - answered. "I have quite the docket today."

I pinched the bridge of my nose at the word "captain." It always rubbed me the wrong way when people couldn't get it right, especially since Elysa had just used the proper title milliseconds before. "Give me a minute." I was annoyed at having been dragged from my self-indulgently-long shower, but this psych eval was set to determine whether or not I was stable enough to communicate with the outside world and it lit a spark of excitement in my gut.

I grabbed my clothes and slipped into them as quickly as I could. They were standard issue Alliance hospital patient clothes: paper thin, white scrubs that hung awkwardly off of my bruised, crooked body. I glanced at myself in the mirror.

I looked so small. A pathetic version of my former self. Much of my muscle mass had deteriorated when I was bed-ridden, and my face was gaunt and battered.

Well, more battered than usual. My scars were still there, glowing their familiar red glow and making me look, as Joker put it, "scary as all hell." I liked them, though. They made me feel powerful, even when I was too damn weak to scrub my own ass in the shower. Dr. Taust told me they'd tried to repair them in one of my many surgeries, but weren't able to work through such thick scar tissue. I was glad for that.

"Captain, my time is valuable and I am on a schedule, here."

Turning on my heel, I opened the door abruptly and retorted, "Well, far be it from me to keep you waiting, Atezea."

Startled, Dr. Atezea hugged her datapad to her chest and gave me a quick once-over. "Yes, well," she said, "have a seat and we'll get started."

I limped over to the cot, cast her a not-so-subtle glare, and sat.

I didn't have patience for psychobabbling hacks on a normal day, let alone after being crushed under the collapsing Citadel and knocked unconscious for a quarter of a year. But, if talking with her meant talking with my crew by the end of the day, I would do it a thousand times over. Atezea seemed to sense my simmering temper - she was an Asari, after all - but she went right back to her duties and hit a few buttons on the datapad before speaking.

"Captain Shepard, let's start wi-"

"Commander Shepard," I corrected.

Elysa stifled a snort of amusement from where she sat in the corner of the room.

"Ah. Yes. Commander Shepard." I could see Atezea clench and unclench her jaw, and I couldn't help but feel satisfied that I'd managed to irritate her. I didn't have to prove that I was sweet, just that I was sane. "Let's begin. Tell me the last thing you remember, before waking up in Victoria Memorial."

My brows furrowed. "Didn't I already give my statement, yesterday?"

"I need a statement for my own records," she explained.

"Oh. Well, I guess the last thing I remember would be discharging my weapon at the Catalyst."

"Elaborate, please."

I cleared my throat. "I was standing in the Citadel, pointing my pistol at the Catalyst and shooting at it. It took a few shots before the thing exploded and brought the whole damn place down on me. I don't really know what more there is to say about it."

"Why would you discharge your weapon at the Catalyst? Wasn't the Catalyst meant to stop the Reapers?"

"Yes and no," I said. "It's complicated. I'm not sure I can explain it." Something nagged at the back of my mind. It seemed like an odd question for her to ask. "Isn't this supposed to be about my mental wellbeing? I'm not sure how that day relates to my current state of mind. I stopped the Reapers. It's done. Now I'm here and I'm healing and I want to get back to my life."

I need to get back to the Normandy, I thought. Otherwise, if I'm not already insane, I will be.

"Well, Shepard," she said, stressing my name as if it left a sour taste in her mouth, "traumatic events leave lasting impacts upon people. I need to understand exactly what you went through, from your point of view, so I can understand how it's affected you."

I could feel my temper coming to a boil. Keep it together, Shepard.

Elysa scooted to the edge of her seat, clearly becoming unsettled by my aggravation.

"I see," I said simply. "Well, I shot the Catalyst because it was a device created in tandem with the Reapers. Destroying it was the only way to eliminate the Reaper threat."

"And you're aware that it also meant destroying all synthetic life?"

"Yes." Legion's face flashed through my mind and I flicked my eyes down at the floor for a moment.

"Were you aware at the time?"

"Pardon?" I met her gaze again. It was the question I'd been dreading. I knew I would answer honestly, but I had hoped to avoid it for a little while longer.

"Were you aware when you destroyed the Catalyst that you were destroying all synthetic life in the galaxy?"  
"I was," I said quietly. "It was the only way."

Elysa covered her gaping mouth with both hands, but said nothing.

Atezea pursed her lips and made a few marks on the datapad. Unexpectedly, she stood. "Well, I'd say we're done here." Her voice was breathy and dismissive.

"So I'm cleared for a comm channel?" I said, trying and failing not to sound too desperate.

In the few moments of hesitation before her answer, I knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Commander, I'm afraid your statement and your personnel records indicate pathological suicidal tendencies, at best, and at worst they indicate that you knowingly committed genocide and caused trillions of credits of damage."

Elysa gasped.

I stood without quite realizing what I was doing. "I..." I started, slipping into a wrath-fueled haze, "I don't understand." I stared blankly ahead, not focusing on anything in particular.

"I'm not clearing you for communication, at this time."

There was a rushing in my ears that I recognized as adrenaline and pumping blood and then the datapad was shattered on the floor and I was pinning Atezea against the wall by her neck and I couldn't tell you how it all happened if I tried.

My arm shook with the effort and I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes but I could not have cared less. I was done feeling powerless. I wanted to go home, and if I couldn't go home, I wanted to at least know I still had a home.

Elysa was standing next to me, trying to lower my arm and pleading with me to let Atezea go, but all I could hear were Atezea's words, over and over: _pathological suicidal tendencies... committed genocide..._

The psychologist was turning even more blue than normal, clutching at my hand desperately. Elysa called for help.

I couldn't stop myself. I would have finished it, finished Atezea, if it weren't for the familiar voice that broke through and snapped me back into reality.

"Commander, is this a bad time?"

I blinked, slowly released a coughing Atezea to the ground, and lowered my arm.

"Hackett?"

* * *

_A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, so far! Nothing inspires me to write like feedback and critiques. I have a few chapters written already, so hopefully I'll be able to keep up with daily updates. And thank you for the feedback about Shep's first name!_

_Let me know what you guys think, so far! Experimented with coming up with OC alien names for the first time in this chapter, so hopefully they weren't too atrocious. Plus, a cliffhanger! With Hackett! Woo!_

_See you tomorrow, galaxy. xx_


	3. Chapter 3

_25 October 2186, Victoria Memorial Hospital, Earth_

"This is ridiculous," I said, pulling against the restraints on my wrists and ankles that tied me to the cot's frame. I had room to move my arms and legs, but couldn't leave the bed without someone to babysit me.

Apparently, Atezea hadn't taken kindly to my sudden urge to choke her lights out and had ordered that I be hogtied until further notice. Elysa looked so guilty as she strapped me in that I couldn't be angry with her, but if I ever saw Atezea again I'd unleash hell on her sorry ass.

"Honestly, it isn't like I could hurt anyone." I coughed, and then couldn't stop coughing. Turns out, getting emotionally worked-up and then physically straining oneself wasn't great for a healing body.

Hackett raised his eyebrows at me pointedly.

"...Much," I added in a strangled voice between hacks.

The Admiral had drawn up a chair and seated himself next to my cot. He looked good. Rested. I'd never seen him without that pinched, concerned look on his face and the absence of it made him look decades younger.

Two armed marines guarded the door to my room, ensuring our privacy.

"Next time, don't throttle the head of the psych ward, then," he said. Then, he actually smiled at me. The surprise of seeing that facial expression on the man's face would have knocked the wind out of me if I hadn't already been struggling to draw a solid breath.

I took a few more moments to steady my heaving chest before speaking.

"Noted, Sir." I grinned back at him. "I'll find someone else to throttle."

"As long as it isn't me, Commander."

It felt strange, talking with the Admiral face-to-face about nothing in particular. No urgency, no grave concerns. Just shooting the breeze.

"So, what happened, if you don't mind my asking?" His voice dropped, becoming quiet and calm.

I wrung my hands in my lap. "Psych eval didn't go well."

"Was that before the throttling?"

I nodded. "Asked me about the last moments up there. About the call I made. Said that, in combination with my previous record, it makes me some sort of genocidal, suicidal maniac."

Hackett crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. "Ah."

"I stand by what I did up there, Sir. It was the right choice. This was an outburst. An isolated event. I'm present, one-hundred percent here, mentally, Sir, it just-" I broke off and stifled a bout of emotion that was trying to sneak its way into my voice. "It meant I wasn't cleared for outside comms, and I..." I trailed off and dug my thumb and forefinger into the pressure point of the opposite hand to center myself again.

"You haven't heard from the Normandy," Hackett finished for me.

I nodded again.

"Well, I might be able to shed some light on that particular situation."

My heart leapt in my chest. I looked at him hopefully, not trusting myself to say anything.

He leaned forward again. "Short answer: they're fine, Shepard. You can relax."

I almost passed out at those words. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath since the first mention of the Normandy, and the room spun when I considered the implications of what he'd just said.

They were fine. Alive. Out there.

I silently and repeatedly thanked whatever gods or goddesses or spirits that might exist and I'm sure my "scary as hell" face never looked so happy as it did in that moment. My smile was so intense, my cheeks hurt. They were alive. I still had a home to go back to. My family to go back to.

"Where-" I started to ask, but my voice cracked. "Where are they?"

"Still in Council Space. Somewhere in the Apien Crest. They jumped just before the final moments, made it by the skin of their teeth."

My heart swelled when I heard they were so close. Only a system away. At some point during his answer, tears had started streaming down my face. I wiped at them, embarrassed.

"I- ah- when can I see them?"

Hackett's face fell a little. "You're aware the relays are out of commission?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "I am, Sir."

"The relay in the Apien Crest is one of our top priorities. That crew of yours made a smart move, staying so close."

I tried to suppress the hope growing in my chest. Tried to manage my expectations. Watch it, Shepard.

"They're pretty clever in a pinch, Sir."

He chuckled. "I'm aware."

"How long until the relays are-"

"We aren't sure, exactly," Hackett interrupted me, mercifully. "Could be tomorrow, could be six months from now. The galaxy has its best teams working to bring the relays back, but there aren't any certainties. There is the possibility that they could never be fully repaired."

My mouth flapped open and shut a few times as I tried to figure out what to say. I was beyond elated, of course, that the people I loved most were alive. I knew I wouldn't be able to come close to expressing just how damn happy that made me, so I didn't try. The fact that I couldn't immediately be with them, though, posed some questions.

"Where should I go until then?"

"Wherever you'd like. Except, maybe not your old apartment in Vancouver," he added.

"Reaper step on it?"

"Crushed it within the first few days of the invasion."

"Ah," I chuckled. I didn't care. This was probably one of a handful of moments in my life that I could be described as positively giddy.

I thought back to one of those other moments. Presidium breeze ruffling my hair. Missing a shot on purpose. Wondering if he knew I'd missed it on purpose. Laughing when he threw his arms up in the air and declared that spot his favorite in the Citadel.

Telling him for the first time that I-

"Wait," I said, a terrible thought suddenly occurring to me. "You're sure the entire crew is okay? There were some- some injuries, on the ground, and-"

"I'm sure, Commander. I'm sure," he said reassuringly. "I've spoken to them all, myself. EDI's out of commission, of course, and that is unfortunate. Moreau took that loss pretty hard, but he's still as much of a smartass as ever. Chakwas, Donnelly, Adams, and Traynor are all there, all doing well."

He could see that I was waiting for a few more names, and he continued.

"I had the pleasure of speaking with one Tali'Zorah, who was very insistent that we wake you up so they could know you were okay, as well as Dr. T'Soni, who informed her that that wasn't the best idea, medically-speaking. They actually argued for a little while about that one. Something about T'Soni not having a medical degree and Tali'Zorah putting her own needs ahead of your wellbeing."

I snorted, but didn't let my guard down.

"I'm not sure he told you he was being considered for it, but Vega was given N7 status a few weeks after the End. Currently, he's the commanding officer of the Normandy."

I smiled ruefully. I was sure Vega was enjoying himself, and I was glad to see him have a few shining months of glory. The big, meaty teddybear had earned it.

"There was someone else on the comm claiming to be a Prothean, but Vakarian cut him off after a few mentions of 'primitives' or some such."

I could have kissed Hackett at the mention of Garrus's name. Hell, if she'd been in the room, I could have kissed Dr. Atezea, too.

"And Vakarian, sir?" I asked quietly, audible tremors in my voice.

Hackett raised a brow at me and continued. "I'd heard about you two. Wasn't sure if it was true, given how damn professional the man is, over comm."

I said nothing, balling my fists into the sheets, trying to quell my anxiety. Garrus had been hurt badly on that final rush to the beam. Burns all over his armor, barely able to stand.

"He's fine, Shepard. Relax. I told you, they're all fine."

"But he was-"

"Chakwas patched him up. You know better than most, there isn't much that woman can't handle. He's walking and talking. Asking about you, too."

Without warning, Hackett stood and pushed his chair back against the wall.

"Admiral?" I said, not quite sure what he was doing.

"Duty calls, Commander," he said. "Can't sit on my old ass all day, I'm afraid."

"Of course, Sir," I said, disappointed. I had so many more questions for him. About the ship, about the crew, about the galaxy-

"Besides," he said, pulling something from his pocket, "there are some other people out there who'd like to speak with you."

He placed the object in my hand and promptly left without any further explanation, striding with the sense of absolute purpose only Hackett could achieve.

I looked down at my lap to find a holoscreen staring back at me.

The top of the screen read, "ESTABLISHING CONNCECTION: NORMANDY SR-2."

A timer flashed beneath it. 00:01, 00:02, 00:03...

Before my overwhelmed brain could piece together what was happening, there was a click, some static, and then the voice of Jeff Moreau filled my hospital room.

"-miral Hackett? Admiral, are you there? Damn comm buoys are still on the fritz. Admiral?"

* * *

_A/N: Now we're cooking with gas! For all of you fellow Shekarian fans, we'll see some of that sweet, sweet Shekarian love in the next chapter._

_Thank you all so much for reading! I am having a lot of fun writing, so we'll see where this story takes us._

_ What did you guys think?_


	4. Chapter 4

_25 October 2186, Victoria Memorial Hospital, Earth_

The video feed was still catching up. He couldn't see me, thankfully. I wiped the remaining dumbfoundedness from my face and summoned my best former-commanding-officer expression.

"...Admiral?" Joker said again, uncertainly.

"Unfortunately, the Admiral has better things to do today than sit around shooting the shit with you, Joker," I said, bursting into a grin. "Luckily for you, I don't."

"Wha- Holy shi- Commander? Shep- is that you?"

The comm channel was shaky, the audio cutting in and out. I could hear scrambling on the other line, followed by muffled, excited shouts. I wanted to get up and dance around the room, but it was probably a good thing I was tied to the bed because that was the moment that the visual caught up to the audio and I didn't need any more cracks about my dancing to bruise my delicate ego.

"Holy shit! Shepard! It's -ard!"

"Calm down, Joker, you're jostling the camera," I said. "I'm already living in a constant state of nausea. Don't make me throw up on the holoscreen."

A few more bumps and he'd situated himself back in front of the camera. He looked good. Healthy. His beard was as scraggly as ever, and he had that habitual sarcastic smirk plastered across his face. His eyes seemed darker, more tired, but the rest of him was, well, Joker.

"Yeah, well, I imagine coming back to the land of the living will do that to you," he said. He tilted his head to the side, examining the screen more closely. "Are- Are you tied to a bed?"

"Yes, I am," I said, not explaining any further. "So what does a Commander have to do to get a status update, around here? How's our girl?"

"She's, ah, the Normandy's good, Commander." He looked sad as he spoke and I felt a pang of guilt, realizing I'd forgotten about EDI in my excitement. "We're all go- here," he continued. "Worried about you, of co- but it turns out we can kind of handle ourselves. Been helping out he- Council Space, odd jobs here and the-"

The screen froze. There was a pause for one second, two, three, and just before I was about to smack my holoscreen the video and audio came back, much clearer than before.

Joker was still talking, of course.

"-and who do they think I am? Just 'cause I'm crippled doesn't mean I can't handle a gun."

"You keep telling yourself that, Abuelo," James cut in. I could see him hulking over Joker's shoulder and - though I didn't think it was possible - my grin widened even more.

"Vega, you keeping my ship tight?" I asked, my voice assuming that military bark it did every time I spoke to my fellow marine.

"And your cabin warm for you, Sir," he answered, leaning over Joker to look into the camera. "Woah, Lola, you look like hell."

Joker playfully shoved his CO out of the way.

"Doesn't she always?" Joker muttered under his breath.

"I look better than you did after our first boxing match, Vega," I retorted.

"Fair enough." Vega laughed offscreen.

I could hear more shuffling and stomping in the background.

"Oh, come on, you guys. Not all at once. Make a line or something," Joker whined. I could see familiar faces and body parts scrambling around him in the background.

"You could readjust the interface, you know. Get everyone in the frame." I felt a warmth growing in my chest as more and more familiar voices joined Joker on the bridge.

"Was that an order, Commander?" Joker asked.

"Helpful suggestion." I smirked.

The mic thumped and screeched as Vega manhandled the holoscreen into a more convenient position. I could see all the faces I had missed. They waved and I waved back. Traynor made a crack about her toothbrush that I couldn't quite make out, sending a wave of laughter around the rest of the human crew.

At the back of the screen, a flash of familiar blue appeared.

"Liara!" I barked. "Get your ass up here!"

She made her way to the front and stared me down with those unsettling-as-all-get-out eyes of hers. I missed our nights on the crew deck, playing cards in the mess hall outside her quarters, laughing and drinking into the small hours of the morning. If I ever had a best friend, it was probably her.

"Commander," she said. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought her voice was quivering with emotion, like mine. "It's good to see you're well."

"You too, Liara."

I hadn't realized how much the vid call was affecting me until I felt the tightness in my throat that usually came before a sob.

Liara's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Are you tied to a bed?"

I shrugged. "Choked out a psychiatrist."

"As one does," Joker said, voice oozing sarcasm.

And then I heard the multi-tonal voice I'd wanted to hear the most, calling over the ruckus of the rest of the crew.

"What's all the fuss about? Spirits, everyone ran up here like their asses were on fire. Did we get word from Hackett about the-" Everyone fell silent and Garrus suddenly found himself shouting over a quiet room. "-new target?"

He hadn't caught sight of me, yet, but I could see him perfectly. Same blue clan markings tattooed across his face, same fringe, same annoyed way of twitching his mandibles when he felt left out of something. There were new dents and chips in his armor and there were a few new scars running across his face, but it was Garrus.

My Garrus.

He glanced around the room uncomfortably. "What are you all looking at? What's happening?"

I coughed, stifling the shriek of joy that had been building in my lungs.

"You know," I said, "when you told me you were going to get some more scars to improve your chances with the ladies, I didn't realize you were serious, Vakarian."

There was a beat.

And another beat.

"Oh," Garrus breathed, finally making eye contact with me on the holoscreen.

I felt my face getting red and I covered my mouth to hide the quivering of my chin. Fuck, I'd missed him.

Joker clapped his hands together and everyone on the bridge - except for Garrus - jumped. "Alright," Joker announced. "Time for everyone to get the hell off my bridge and give these two sex machines some privacy."

"Thanks, Joker," I said dryly. I was grateful that the pilot chose to ignore how choked up my voice obviously sounded.

Everyone shuffled out of the room, casting glances and well-wishes at me over their shoulders. On her way out, Liara laid a hand on Garrus's shoulder and said something in his ear. He didn't respond one way or another. Just stood there, staring blankly at me.

"Hi, Garrus," I said softly. I didn't trust myself to speak any louder. I could feel a flood of joy-induced tears building up behind my eyes and I'd already cried enough that day to feel like an overemotional pansy.

"Spirits," he murmured, taking a few unsure steps toward the camera. "Is that really you, Shepard?"

"I think so," I said, smiling a little.

He sat in Joker's chair awkwardly - it definitely wasn't made to seat a Turian - and pulled the holoscreen interface towards him.

We stared at each other for a few long moments. I removed my shaking hand from my face and resisted the urge to stroke his cheek on the virtual image.

"So, what perilous mission is Hackett sending my crew on, now?" I asked.

He blinked. "Oh! Right. Nothing too perilous, this time. Just helping a few colonies get back on their feet. Pretty standard, really."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Another silent beat.

"Well-" I started.

"I'm-" he began.

"Oh, sorry. You go first," I said.

He chuckled. "I was just going to say that I'm not sure what the protocols on reuniting are, when distance is involved."

I snorted. "Me neither."

"What were you going to say?"

"I... I don't remember. I think I was just trying to break the silence."

"That sounds like you."

I loved the tones of his voice when we talked like this. Quiet, soothing.

"I hope I didn't worry you too much, this time," I said softly.

He ducked his head. "It was... It was difficult, I won't lie. Especially those first few days. I didn't know whether to celebrate or mourn or both, and even after they found you, I was still afraid to hope that you... That you... Why are you tied to a bed?"

Caught off-guard, I laughed aloud and he shifted uneasily, obviously startled by my outburst. He seemed genuinely concerned, but I waved my hands dismissively and did my best to collect myself.

"I-" I gasped in between bouts of laughter, "I assaulted a psychiatrist because she called me a suicidal psychopath. She got- She got a little offended about the whole thing."

"That sounds like you, too." He visibly relaxed and let me ride out the rest of my tidal laughter. It was like we were standing in the Main Battery, talking while he worked. It was like nothing had changed, even though, clearly, so much had.

It was nice to know there were a few constants in the galaxy.

"I missed you, Garrus," I told him. I knew he knew it, but it needed to be said.

"I missed you, too, Shepard."

"So, have you picked out a planet?" I asked.

"A planet? For what?" He frowned and scratched the back of his neck with a gloved claw.

"You know. Somewhere warm and tropical."

"Ah! Yes! Well, no. I haven't. I think that might still be a while off, Shepard."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Haven't seen enough action yet, Vakarian?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "It turns out that the fact that you're done with war doesn't mean war is done with you."

I frowned. "War?"

Garrus sighed. "It's true what they say about a common enemy. Since the Reapers are gone, seems like everyone's remembering their old, petty problems with one another. Someone's got to keep the peace."

"If anyone can keep peace, it's my crew."

"Spirits, I hope so."

I heard a message being broadcast on the Normandy. The words were garbled, but it was Vega's voice. After the message ended, I could have sworn Garrus was blushing. Could Turians blush? I'd have to ask him, sometime.

"What'd he have to say?" I asked.

"Well, it sounds like we have some peace-keeping to go do," Garrus said, trailing off.

"And?"

"And he said that I should stop steaming up Joker's equipment with my 'amorous panting' because he needs to 'do his job and fly the ship at some point.'"

"He used the word amorous correctly?"

"Yeah."

"Impressive."

"I thought so, too."

"Well-"

"This channel, six hours?" he said, reading my mind.

I nodded. "Six hours. Be careful, Vakarian."

"Don't try to murder any more medical personnel, Shepard."

"I'll do my best," I said, smiling.

He leaned forward, extending a hand towards the holoscreen to terminate the signal, and then paused for a moment. He made eye contact with me again.

I'd forgotten how blue those eyes could be.

"I... I love you, Adrienne. I'm glad you're safe," he said.

"I love you too, Garrus. Remember, six hours."

"Wouldn't miss it for the galaxy. We have some catching up to do."

Click. Static.

I slumped back into the cot, folded and tucked the empty holoscreen frame under my pillow, and wept.

* * *

_A/N: Yay! Garrus! I tried not to make it too fluffy, but damned if I don't love me some Shekarian. _

_What did you guys think? What do you want to see next? Let me know with a review!_

_See you tomorrow, galaxy. xx_


	5. Chapter 5

_26 October 2186, Streets of Victoria, Earth_

It had taken some creative thinking to explain to the nurses why I was sobbing like a toddler without telling them about the technically-not-legally-obtained holoscreen under my pillow. It had taken even more creative thinking to get them to believe I wasn't completely insane ("only moderately insane," I had joked only to realize that making the joke was a terrible idea).

In the end, Hackett pulled some strings and got me released the next morning, clothed in some new fatigues, and on the street with access to my modest bank account, a prescription for pain meds, and the whole wide world at my feet.

Much to my surprise, he also returned my fully-functioning omnitool to me.

I'd outright refused his suggestion to keep Alliance personnel nearby at all times for security. I was done being a burden. I was awake, now, and there was no way I was going to be babysat anymore.

When I'd told Hackett I wanted to return to active duty with the Alliance and the Council, he wouldn't have any of it. He told me I needed a few weeks of shore leave. Maybe he was right, but the yearning in my trigger finger and the part of my mind I reserved for strategy and stealth told me otherwise.

These few weeks were going to be very, very slow.

So, naturally, I started them at a sprint.

I rounded a street corner and stopped at a red light, jogging in place to keep my heart rate up. The painkillers were definitely helping. The remaining soreness in my muscles wasn't enough to keep me from running. I needed to get my stamina back. Needed to move. To do something. Even if it was just running around a city for a few hours.

My second vid call with Garrus had been as short as the first. He called me from his bunk in the Main Battery and was clearly exhausted after clearing mercs out of a university on Palaven.

I ached to have been there with him, crouching behind a wall on a balcony and sniping mercs through the neck. Each of us taking score of our headshots and then being too spent to care who won by the end of the day.

I didn't say so, though. He had enough on his plate without me dumping my childish jealousies on him.

We'd laughed and talked for a few minutes before I could tell he was about to drift off to sleep. I was proud that I only mildly teared up when the call ended, rather than imploding into a heap of wails.

The light turned green and I ran, full speed, across the street.

I dodged pedestrians and taxis and kept on running. I didn't know Victoria well enough to have a set destination, but I enjoyed the scenery as it came to me. The burning in my legs made me feel grounded in reality for the first time in years. Reapers and the Omega 4 Relay and the Catalyst and Saren all faded away, some obscure dream that had happened to someone else.

I was just some stranger out for a run.

Even after being outside the hospital for only a few hours, I could see what Garrus meant about tensions running high. People seemed jumpy, and not just because a heavily-scarred woman in Alliance fatigues was barreling towards them. They regarded one another with looks of suspicion and distaste. It brought me back to being a kid, here on Earth. Running through the Phoenix streets in the blistering heat of summer.

I ran faster.

* * *

"That psychiatrist is lucky I wasn't there," Garrus said, fringe bristling. "Hackett would have had a hell of a time pulling me off of her if I was."

"Aww. You're sweet when you're threatening bodily harm to people who've insulted me," I said, only half-joking. I was lying in my bed - I'd found a respectable enough hotel after I'd worn myself out on my run - and he was lying in his.

Thousands and thousands of lightyears away.

On the Normandy.

Where I wasn't.

When I'd checked into the hotel, the clerk blanched as he ran my ID and saw who I was. It made me feel uncomfortable, more than anything else, when he'd insisted that my indefinite stay was on the house. I didn't like this business of being recognized, but a free room was a free room.

"You deserve better, Shepard."

"I already have the best," I said.

He tilted his head, clearly lost.

"...I mean you, Vakarian. I'm flattering you," I clarified.

"Well, I think you'll find it takes more than flattery to get into my armor, Commander," he scoffed in fake offense.

"Not if you've been drinking," I countered.

"Now, there's an idea."

I laughed. "If you get drunk on this vid call, I can't guarantee that I won't record it and show Joker and Vega, later."

"You're sweet when you're trying to threaten me."

I rolled my eyes. "And you're lucky I like you so much."

"Well, what can I- Oh. Hang on a second, Shepard."

He turned away from the holoscreen, giving me an opportunity to hungrily ogle the magnificence that was his profile.

"More mercs to shoot at?" I asked, my voice equal parts concern and envy.

He was focused on his omnitool, scrolling through what appeared to be a report of some kind, from my limited view. He chuckled. "Not exactly."

"What is it, then?"

"You still using the same Alliance encryption on your omnitool?"

"Yeah," I answered, still not following.

"Let me send this your way, then. One minute."

Claws moved deftly over the glowing orange interface and, sure enough, my omnitool pinged.

"Looks like you're a celebrity, Shepard."

I opened the document and scanned it, feeling my cheeks flush the more I read. It was an article about me from one of those damned tabloid blasts. Pictures of me running across town and checking into the hotel with captions like "Commander Shepard: she exercises just like us!"

"What was that you were saying about blackmailing me with drunken vids?" Garrus asked, assuming innocent tones.

"Oh, quiet, you." I deleted the article and fanned my burning face with my hands.

"What are you- are you upset, Shepard? I didn't mean to-" Garrus was flustered, distressed by my inexplicable hand gestures.

"No! No, I'm just a little... Flushed. Embarrassed. That's all." I smiled at him sheepishly. A thought reoccured to me. "Do Turians blush?"

"What's blush?"

"Human thing. Physical response to intense emotions. Makes your face all red." I took a deep breath and forced my apparent celebrity from my mind.

"I'd been wondering what that was."

"Wait," I said, "why did your omnitool alert you about a gossip article?"

His mandibles tightened and his posture slackened almost imperceptibly. "I... I had it set up to alert me when your name appeared in the press, after..."

"Oh."

"Hackett told us as soon as they found you, but I figured it would be good to have a backup. Just in case. Comms were messy, for a while."

"Yeah. Seems like I made a mess of a lot of things, at the End."

"So," Garrus began with caution, "what was it like, up there?"

"On the Citadel?"

He nodded.

I thought for a moment. "Surreal."

"Like a dream?"

"A bad one," I said. My mind conjured the image of chasing a child through a burning forest. I shivered.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It had to be done. It had to be me."

Someone else might have gotten it wrong.

We were both quiet. I wondered if he was thinking about Mordin, too.

"I spoke with one of the Salarians who is working to rebuild the relay, today," he said.

"Oh?" Well, there was my answer.

"They think they're close. Really close."

"Weeks?"

"Days, maybe."

"Really?" After everything, it seemed that I'd trained myself not to expect good news.

"Javik's been helping them figure it out, telling them how to run diagnostics and fix whatever's broken. Of course, we need your relay to be in working condition, too, so there aren't any guarantees."

"Are there ever?"

"Not usually, no. But I'll - what's the expression - I'll keep my talons crossed."

"Something like that," I said, grinning. "I will, too."

I contemplated the sharp angles of his face for about the millionth time since I'd met him. It always amazed me how features covered in protective plates could be so damned expressive. His brows were pinched together slightly, hinting at worry. His mandibles were relaxed, his words flowing effortlessly as we kept each other awake.

His eyes, though. They were the reason for the knot in my stomach. Even as we quipped and laughed and unloaded our respective burdens, they remained somehow forlorn. Like there was something locked inside his head that he wasn't letting out.

"Garrus," I said, "they're going to fix the relays."

"I know."

"It's going to be okay."

"I..." he sighed. "I really needed to hear you say that, Shepard." He ran a hand back over his fringe and my hand itched with the desire to trace my own fingers over it. "It still doesn't feel real."

He looked at me again. There was still something there, something unsaid, but I wasn't going to press him for anything he wasn't willing to lay on the table. He was probably the only person in the damned galaxy I'd never push like that.

"I know," I said and then I yawned.

Garrus started. "Spirits, Shepard. Can't you give me some kind of warning before you do that?"

"Hey, at least it wasn't a sneeze," I laughed.

He shuddered, probably recalling one of the countless times I'd sneezed and scared the ever-living shit out of him. I couldn't tell if the shudder was involuntary or if he was just messing with me. Both, probably.

"Well, I know enough about human physiology to recognize a human in need of some rest when I see one," he said.

"Err... I'm glad?" I frowned, not sure what he was getting at.

"That was me segueing past the fact that I am officially tired as hell and need to get some sleep so I can blast some more mercs in the morning."

I chuckled. "I seem to recall it taking a lot more than a couple hours of conversation to wear you out, not too long ago," I said, more than a little suggestively.

He groaned. "Don't go putting those images in my head, Shepard. I'm barely keeping myself sane without being reminded of how much I want... that."

I smiled and held my hands up defensively. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I guess it gives us one more thing to look forward to."

"You're damn right about that."

"Go get some rest, Vakarian."

"You too, Shepard."

The comm channel closed, leaving me alone in the dark.

* * *

_A/N: Next chapter is where we start getting into the meat of the conflict, so I figured we could all do with a nice chapter of fluff! Let me know what you guys think. I tried to at least get some plot/character development going on, but was this too fluffy?_


	6. Chapter 6

_27 October 2186, Quality Plus Hotel, Victoria, Earth_

Running probably hadn't been the best of ideas. My legs were on fire and I kicked them restlessly in the dingy hotel sheets. It didn't help that my head was full of imagined scenes of Garrus and I, tumbling through said sheets. Now that I knew he was safe, alive, I couldn't help it.

I rolled onto my side, squinted at the clock projected on the wall - 1:18 AM - and sighed.

Propping myself up on my elbows, I grabbed my bottle of pain meds and popped one into my mouth. I didn't really know if I was due for another dosage, but damn it, my legs hurt and I wanted some sleep.

At least when I was unconscious I could pretend that I was back on the Normandy.

I flopped back onto the pillow. The mattress squeaked.

I stared at the ceiling for what felt like at least half an hour, waiting for sleep to settle into my brain, then looked at the clock again.

1:24 AM. Damn it.

I debated calling Garrus to see if he was still awake. He probably was, I reasoned. He was somewhat of an insomniac, too, and there was probably plenty of calibrating - I snorted even as I thought the word to myself - to do. Especially after the Normandy took a nosedive into a jungle world and lost its onboard AI.

I remembered how sad Joker had looked on that first vid call. I wondered if they'd tried rebuilding EDI since the crash. Of course they had. Joker wouldn't let her go without a fight. He was too damned stubborn. And after all, Tali was still onboard, and if anyone could build an AI, it was a Quarian engineer. I doubted they'd been successful, though, given Joker's defeated air.

I'd have to ask Garrus the next time I called.

Which, I reasoned, wouldn't be that night. If he was going to fight his way through another building full of mercs in the morning, I was going to be damned sure he was well-rested for it.

I lurched forward and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

It was a Friday night, I realized, and I'd been unconscious for three and a half months.

I grabbed my holoscreen and tucked it into my pocket.

It was time to find the nearest bar.

* * *

I rapped my knuckles against the sticky tabletop.

"Barkeep," I said. "I'll have another, when you get the chance."

The bartender - a grizzled-looking Salarian with crooked horns - nodded.

Absently, I played with the two empty glasses in front of me. It was just me and the bartender, at this hour of the night. I was working on a nice buzz, downing a mixture of whiskey, sugar, and bitters that I called an Old Fashioned and the Salarian had deemed a "glass of face-melting battery acid."

My face wasn't melting, yet, but it was certainly warmed by the liquor.

This was exactly what I needed. A few good drinks, pleasant company that kept to itself, and a moment to figure some things out. I'd picked the place because it looked to be the most forgotten hole-in-the-wall in Victoria. I didn't want conversation, good food, or even a clean surface to set my glass on. I just wanted to drink.

A news vid was playing on the screen behind the bar.

It showed a city block in flames. Even as the camera panned, the face of a building exploded outward in the telltale blue of a biotic explosion and crowds of people ran from it, panicked. An woman's voice spoke over the live footage.

"The riots sweeping Earth's megatropolises have made their way to Chicago. In the wake of destruction left by the Reapers, citizens of humanity's largest cities maintain their cry for a radical restructuring of the Systems Alliance and Citadel Council."

The Salarian slid my drink to me and I took a sip, my eyes never leaving the screen.

"Participants in the riots claim that the Alliance and Council withheld information regarding the Reaper invasion of Earth, leading to the deaths of millions. They call for Alliance brass and Council members to be held accountable for their actions.

"Although official investigations have not yet discovered the initial driving force behind this violence, it is suspected that the unrest is being stirred largely by remnants of Cerberus."

I clenched my jaw.

"Global rioting has already claimed more than ten thousand lives, with countless more injured. Today in Chicago, a bank was targeted by-"

The screen blacked out. I blinked. The Salarian lowered his hand from the screen's power switch.

"Apologies," he said. "Couldn't listen any more. Thoughtless. War breeding more war. Should keep our minds off of it while we still can."

I smiled a little. "Maybe you're right about that one." I took another pull from my drink. Swallowed. Savored the sweet burn of whiskey as it trailed down my throat. Or, I thought, maybe that was exactly the mentality that got us into this whole mess in the first place.

The front door opened and three human men stumbled over the threshold. They made their way to a booth, sat, and ordered a round of beers loudly. I didn't mind so much. I just wanted to drink my drink and think my thoughts and then go back to the hotel and try to catch a few hours of sleep.

It was silly of me to think that was a possibility.

One of the men stumbled up to the bar and rested heavily on his elbows. I could feel his eyes leering at me, but chose to ignore it for the sake of his health, so long as he didn't-

"Hey," he said. "What's your name?"

I gritted my teeth and stirred my drink with a few flicks of my wrist.

He shuffled closer to me. He reeked of tequila. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that his friends were all focused on me, too. Probably some sort of moronic bet to see who could pick up the unfriendly-looking woman at the bar.

"I asked you a question."

"And I ignored you," I said, calmly enough. "I'd suggest that you walk away. Now." I shot a glare at him. The idiot was too drunk to back down.

"That's rude," he slurred. "Don't be rude, baby. You'll hurt my feelings."

The Salarian behind the bar had stopped filling glasses and was watching the situation carefully.

"I'm going to say this one more time, and I'm going to say it slowly so you'll understand," I told him, my voice holding more menace than irritation, now. "Turn around and get back to your friends."

"Hey, I'm just tryin'a talk t'you." His face grew angry. I tensed. "Don't be such a bi-" As he spoke, he grabbed my arm.

I spun off of my barstool and kicked the back of his knee with the heel of my boot. His hands scrambled for purchase against the bar. I grabbed him roughly by the back of his shirt, slammed his face against the tabletop, and heaved him backwards onto the ground.

I stared down at him, chest heaving. His face was bloodied, his shirt was torn open in the front, and he was very unconscious.

I rolled my shoulders and turned back to the bartender.

"Sorry," I said. "I'll clean up my mess."

The Salarian shook his head and tutted. "No apology necessary. Idiot. Should know better than to harass a Spectre." He cleared my empties from the bar.

I was surprised he recognized me. He hadn't mentioned it in the past hour I'd spent at his bar, and I appreciated that fact more than I could say. It was nice to pretend to be nobody, even if it was just for-

Hold on.

I felt dizzy. Really dizzy. I gripped the bar but still couldn't maintain my balance. I stumbled in place.

I looked down to the drunk on the floor, finally realizing exactly what I'd seen. There was an empty syringe lying next to him, knocked out of his hand when I'd assaulted him. Where his shirt was torn, I could see an armored vest.

I groaned when I realized it had the Cerberus insignia emblazoned on it.

My gaze whipped to the table full of the man's "friends," but it had taken me too long to grasp what was happening.

A shot rang out and green blood splattered over the back of the bar before the bartender could react.

Fuck.

I felt a tickle on my arm and noticed a pinprick of blood. The room spun faster.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I lost my hold on the bar and fell to my knees. I had just enough presence of mind to hear the two other men walking towards me.

"Get Anders off the floor," one of them said. "And get Shepard in the transport."

I lurched forward in a last-ditch effort to escape, but whatever they'd injected me with did its job. I hit the ground and drifted, for the countless time that week, into unconsciousness.

Fuck.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews so far! They really drive me to write more quickly, and I truly appreciate them._

_Was this section too rushed? To me it felt like I was taking my time until it got to the action and I got so excited when I was writing it that I slammed all the words into my keyboard at lightning-speed. What did you guys think?_


	7. Chapter 7

_27 October 2186, Somewhere below Victoria, Earth_

At this point, I was getting really fucking tired of my situation.

I'd been sitting in the same brightly-lit, featureless room for the past several hours. I'd tried falling asleep just to pass the time - if Cerberus wanted to kill me, I'd be dead already, so I knew I wasn't in any immediate danger - but the lights were so bright that it wasn't a possibility. Four metal braces held me against a chair by my ankles and wrists. My lips were chapped and my throat was parched. The painkillers had worn off a while ago, plunging me back into constant, whole-body, throbbing agony.

And my damned cough was back.

They'd taken my omnitool and my holoscreen before I'd woken up. I was still in my fatigues, which were beginning to smell of sweat and dirt. Occasionally, a figure would pause in front of the frosted glass door and peer inside. I'd stare them down, nothing would happen, and they would leave.

I fidgeted in my chair. I hadn't gotten the chance to use a restroom since downing my beverages at the bar.

"Hey," I shouted, looking directly at the surveillance camera on the ceiling. "I get that you're trying to make me sweat with the lights and the silence and all of that bullshit, but I need to take a piss."

I waited a minute or two, tapping my boot against the leg of the chair impatiently, and another figure appeared at the door. This time, it opened.

I recognized the man as Anders, the sorry sack of meat that I'd tenderized at the bar. With more than a little pride, I noticed that he sported a pair of shiners and a thick bandage over his nose.

He trudged over to me, assault rifle in-hand.

"Aww, Anders," I crooned, "so kind of you to come hold my hand on the way to the toilet. How's the face?"

He said nothing, but glowered at me as he bent to undo my restraints, jamming the rifle's barrel into my chest as he worked.

"Looks pretty fucked, if I do say so myself," I continued. "Not that you were much of a looker to begin with."

Again he said nothing, but the top of his mouth twitched with the hint of a snarl.

He grabbed me by the shoulder and shoved me ahead of him, keeping the rifle trained on my back. He didn't have anything to worry about, just yet. I figured I would have a look around and learn as much as I could about whatever the hell Cerberus was doing before I made any attempt at a grand exit.

Walking after being stuck in the chair for an extended period reawakened the ache in my legs that I'd worked up the previous morning. I moved at a limp, each step sending crashes of pain through my body.

We went through the door and it slid closed behind us. There was nobody else in sight, but the myriad of security cameras above meant that we were definitely not alone. No matter. Now was the time to learn as much as I could about these new Cerberus jackasses.

Fighting my way out would come later.

"I mean really, Anders," I said, "you don't have much going for you, do you? Broken face, shit personality, can't even charm drunk girls at the bars. It's really kind of pathetic, when you get down to it."

He jabbed me in the back with the rifle.

"Keep walking," he grunted.

"Well, I'd walk faster if I knew where the fuck I was going," I pointed out. "You should really have some signs in here. You know, hang a couple from the ceiling. 'Women's Restroom' with an arrow pointing in whichever direction."

He growled. "Turn left. Third door on the right."

The place was a damned labyrinth, with white hallway after white hallway full of unmarked, identical doors made out of frosted glass. I followed his directions, maintaining my verbal barrage all the way ("You hold that gun like a flaccid dick, Anders. Are you sure you're qualified to use that thing?"), and entered the bathroom while he stood guard at the door.

"Two minutes," he said.

"Don't worry. I'll be back before you start to miss me," I said. I almost tweaked his nose, but by this point I had him so tightly wound that he probably would have shot me.

The bathroom door closed behind me. My body slackened and I rubbed my face. As I went about my business, I considered what Cerberus could possibly be doing and what they could possibly want me for, if it wasn't horrible-slow-and-painful-death-by-Atlas-cannon-fi re related.

Clearly, someone had stepped forward as the new leader of the organization. I suppose it had been foolish to think that, once we cut off the head of the snake, it wouldn't grow a new one like some wretched mythological creature.

After all, they did call themselves Cerberus.

And whatever this new head-psycho wanted to accomplish, it couldn't be good. Especially if Cerberus really was tied to the riots, which they almost certainly were.

I stood and hiked my fatigues back up over my hips.

Anders knocked his rifle against the door. "You have one minute. Hurry up."

"Keep your fucking panties on, Anders," I called back.

I washed my hands and splashed cold water onto my face.

If they didn't want me dead, I had to assume they wanted to use me for some purpose. Most likely, that purpose had something to do with the part I played in the war, but I had no other hint of exactly what they intended. I needed more information.

I opened the door and sidled past Anders. "Where to now, buddy?"

He glowered at me. "Back to your cell."

"Aww. I thought we might go on a little tour, first. It's only polite to show your guests around." I purposefully wandered in the wrong direction, walking backwards and giving him a smile that those who knew me would recognize as my "I'm fucking with you because I don't have the ability to cause you bodily trauma in this moment" look.

"You're not a guest," he said, "you're a prisoner."

Well, if they weren't going to pay me enough respect to tell me up-front what the fuck was going on, I was going to have to make them. My eyes flicked briefly up to the nearest security monitor. Time to cause a scene.

"Oh, so I _am_ a prisoner." I paused for a moment and brought a hand to my chin in calculated, feigned consideration. "So what does that make you, Anders? The guy who babysits prisoners when they need to take a dump? The Shit Patrol?"

"Stop talking," Anders said, motioning with the rifle for me to start walking back towards my cell. I could sense the strain in his voice; I was getting to him.

"It's a shame they don't trust you with a real job. I'll be honest: I'm growing fond of you, Anders. I think we're developing a nice rapport, and I think you'd be able to handle some big boy Cerberus work. You just need to show them you're passionate about your job."

"Shut your fucking mouth and walk."

"Ah! See?" I shouted. "There's that fire! You need to harness that feeling and show them you're able to perform a job competently that doesn't involve being a shit-chauffeur for scum like me."

I could feel him growing tenser and tenser behind me. His rage was palpable.

I was enjoying this whole kidnapping far too much.

"I'm serious, Anders. If you could just learn to use the brain in your head more than the one in your frilly undergarments, you might be able to amount to something in your fucking pitiful, otherwise completely-wasted existence."

That did it. I heard his boots thud against the floor as he lunged at me.

I sidestepped him and caught him in the face with my elbow. With the satisfying crunch of a re-broken nose, Anders yelped and snarled simultaneously.

"You bitch!" he shouted, cradling his nose with both hands. His chin, neck, and shirt dripped with blood.

"Yes! Energy! Good, Anders!" I yelled back. "Hold on to that passion, buddy!" I summoned every cheesy turn of phrase I could remember from Kaidan's stash of self-help vids that Joker had stumbled upon - and then, of course, shared with the rest of the crew - years before.

Anders roared and moved to aim his rifle at my chest.

A tone broadcasted over the loudspeakers in the building, echoing off of the walls and prompting Anders to freeze. The sound stopped and was followed by a magnified, somehow-familiar voice.

"Anders!" the voice barked. "Lower your weapon. Bring Shepard here. Now. It's time she and I had a discussion."

"See?" I turned to Anders, my voice overflowing with mock enthusiasm. "You're getting better assignments, already."

As a truly-unhinged Anders stomped past me and lead me to wherever he'd been ordered to lead me, I tried to place the voice I'd heard. It was definitely someone I'd met, before, and that disturbed me.

I let Anders simmer in silence for the remainder of our journey together. I'd get my revenge for the bar incident soon enough. Maybe I'd even break his damn nose a third time, before killing him.

We walked through several more identical hallways until we arrived at another door that looked like all of the rest. Anders stood aside, opened the door with a handprint scan, and glared at me.

"See you around, Anders."

Here goes nothing, I thought.

* * *

_A/N: Couldn't resist writing a nice chunk of Shepard being an ass. Keep in mind, I do play a Renegade Shepard, and that will play a large part in the coming chapters. Brace yourselves for some devil-may-care badassery!_

_Also, I work in retail and our holiday hours are just about to start, meaning that I'm going to be working even more hours a week than I do now. While I'd really love to keep up with daily updates and I'm going to do my best to do so, I might have to switch to an every-other-day posting schedule! Apologies abound!_

_As always, I appreciate reviews so, so much! More reviews means I write faster and you'll have Shekarian in the same room as one another more quickly - that's coming up, fairly soon._

_Thank you all for reading!_


	8. Chapter 8

_27 October 2186, Somewhere below Victoria, Earth_

I lingered in the doorway for a moment, trying to absorb what I was seeing inside the office.

It was a cavernous room, with ceilings much higher than those in the halls or other rooms we'd had the pleasure of touring, so far. The wall opposite of the door was an enormous bookshelf, full of leather-bound volumes I'd only ever seen in glass displays at museums, before. It was dim, inside, and I realized it was because the only lighting was a chandelier of gas-burning lamps hanging from the ceiling. The office smelled of paper and warmth.

The furnishings were lavish. Leather and tapestries and hardwood flooring all transported me into a history text I'd read in school, landing me square in the middle of the chapter about medieval Europe. There was an ornate desk in the middle of the room.

The man sitting behind it - the man I recognized - stood when I entered.

"Commander Shepard," Dr. Taust said. "It's good to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same," I said dryly.

"Please, come in." He ignored my quip. He looked younger, somehow. Maybe it was the lighting, or maybe it was the way he moved so comfortably in his Cerberus-logo-encrusted clothing. His hair was still gray and his eyes were still dark, but he seemed to have a completely different energy about him.

I obliged, but kept my distance. "So, what, does the medical field not pay well enough? Had to take up terrorism on the side to support your taste in decor?" I crossed my arms. I felt somehow violated, knowing that this man had been one of the surgeons who kept me alive in the hospital. He'd had his hands inside my chest cavity. We'd had pleasant, meaningful conversation and he'd probably been planning to abduct me the entire time.

I was more than sick of Cerberus's penchant for shoving its racist paws into my life.

"Don't be so narrow-minded," Taust chided. "We are righting wrongs. Resetting the balance of the galaxy. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Have a seat, Commander."

"And why the fuck would I ever do that? I'm not interested in anything you have to say." I stood my ground.

"Shepard, you of all people should be in support of what we're doing, here-"

"How can I support what you're doing when I don't even know what the fuck it is?" I interrupted, raised an eyebrow, and set my jaw.

"Have a seat and I'll enlighten you."

Cautiously, I limped over to the desk and sat in one of the chairs facing his. I tapped my fingers against the wooden armrest, waiting for him to continue. He sat back down in his own chair.

"You warned the Council about the Reapers, but they wouldn't listen, and neither would the Alliance. As a result, hundreds of millions are dead. Wouldn't you agree that the galaxy needs leadership that holds the interests of its citizens as its highest priority?"

I said nothing. He kept talking.

"The Council must be restructured. Humanity proved itself, in the war. We are capable of leading the galaxy peacefully."

"Peacefully? Is 'peaceful' the word you'd use to describe the rioting on Earth?" I asked, spitting venom.

"There will always be resistance to brilliant ideas."

I dug my fingers into the armrest to keep myself under control. My hunch about Cerberus and the riots had been right.

"There will always be resistance to bigoted fascists, too," I said icily.

Taust stood and began pacing. "I don't know why you have such a negative view of Cerberus, after all we have done for you, Commander."

"I didn't ask for Cerberus to do a damned thing for me," I spat. "And my 'negative view' might have something to do with the fact that you wanted to use Reaper tech to enslave an entire galaxy of sentient life."

He waved a hand dismissively. "The Illusive Man was weak. He allowed himself to be indoctrinated and he squandered Cerberus resources chasing a ridiculous notion."

"And what are you chasing, Taust?"

"Humanity's rightful place in the galaxy."

"Oh, is that all?" I deadpanned.

"This is no joke, Commander. The galaxy needs this."

"So you're picking up where the Illusive Man left off."

"Not at all," Taust said. "Humanity doesn't need Reaper tech to rise to its calling. The Reapers weakened the strongest of the races and your heroics left the rest of the galaxy reeling. As the relays open, we'll be able to take the galaxy system-by-system without meeting organized resistance."

"And how do I fit into this master plan of yours?" I asked, mentally stowing all of the information he'd handed to me on a silver platter. As much as he insisted he was different from the Illusive Man, Taust seemed to share his propensity for telling me exactly what dastardly deeds he had up his sleeves. Idiot.

He stopped pacing. "Every rebellion needs its Joan of Arc."

"Joan of Arc," I repeated incredulously. "I don't know what you've heard about me, Taust, but I can assure you I'm not a fucking saint."

"We don't need a saint. We need a rallying point."

"Abduction is a funny way of trying to get someone's support."

"Would you have come willingly?"

"Not in this lifetime." Or any other lifetimes I might have, I thought ruefully.

"Then you see why it was necessary." He sat behind the desk and pressed his fingertips together.

"Why not take me from the hospital? Why wait to grab me from a bar?"

"I need to maintain a certain anonymity."

"Of course. Can't have the medical community thinking you're some sort of deranged lunatic."

He leaned forward in his chair and eyed me intently.

"I don't think you're grasping the entirety of your situation, Shepard."

"Then _enlighten_ me some more," I sneered. My fingers twitched with the desire to pull a trigger and scatter Taust's brain matter across his ridiculous lair.

"There's more than one way to turn a person into an inspiration," he said.

"Yes, please, continue to be as vague as fucking possible," I drawled. I was beyond losing my patience. I'd heard enough sinister Cerberus psychobabble to last me a few centuries. The only reason the bastard wasn't dead already was that I was unarmed and far too sore to kill him with my bare hands.

It seemed he was losing his patience with me, too. He stood again, quickly, and smacked his hands against the desk.

"Use your head, Commander. You can be humanity's champion or you can be its martyr. Joan of Arc inspired rebellion with her life, but her execution inspired France just as potently. You'll give me what I need, regardless, but if you want to stay alive, I'd suggest you choose the former."

"Oh, so now I get a choice? I was under the impression that you were calling the shots here, Kevorkian."

"Yes," he snapped. "You have a choice. You can crusade for humanity's cause from the front lines, or your death can fuel our fire."

"And just how would my death do that?" I stood, mirroring his stance against the desk and glaring at him.

"What better call to arms is there than watching a war hero be executed by the enemy?" he asked quietly. Dangerously.

"By 'the enemy' I can only assume you mean other species."

I felt a tangible wave of disgust move through my body when he nodded.

"Naturally. A few paid alien mercenaries, a live vid feed broadcasting to every screen connected to the extranet. When your head rolls, humanity will be on its feet, ready to fight." He paused, looked down at the desk, and then looked back up to me once he'd collected himself. "Of course, I'd prefer it if we could count on your support. You would be invaluable, alive. Humanity's knight in shining armor."

He straightened and adjusted a cufflink. I curled my right hand into a fist.

"So, Commander," he said, "which do you choose?"

I slugged him in the jaw.

"Guess," I hissed.

The right hook probably caused more pain to me than to him. I shook my hand and inhaled sharply. Taust roared wordlessly and pressed a hand against his face.

"Wrong answer," he snarled. "Anders!" he called over my shoulder. The door behind me opened. "Take this animal back to its cage."

"Aww, already? We were having such fun," I whined.

Anders - dried blood still covering most of his face - grabbed my wrists and secured them behind my back. He dragged me out of the room with a sharp grip on my upper arm.

"The fun hasn't even started, Shepard," I heard Taust say just before Anders pushed me over the threshold. The door shut.

I smirked.

"You have no idea."

* * *

_A/N: I wasn't sure I'd be able to get this finished & posted today, but I'm closing at work tonight so I managed to jam it out in time! _

_Did this feel rushed to you guys? I feel so excited to write the next few chapters, I'm worried I might not have given this one enough time._


	9. Chapter 9

_29 October 2186, Somewhere below Victoria, Earth_

The next two days passed in monotony. I barely slept and my only nourishment was the tap water I'd sip out of my momentarily-unbound hands whenever Anders would materialize to be my bathroom nanny.

I almost welcomed the change when Taust appeared at my door.

"Have you changed your mind, Shepard?"

I raised a brow. "What do you think, you sick fuck?"

He shook his head slightly, frowning, and then motioned with his fingers to someone out in the hall.

Four others entered the room, all wearing armor, all heavily armed, all non-human. There was a Krogan, an Asari, a Quarian, and a Turian. Somehow, Taust had managed to wrangle an unscrupulous representative of each Council race.

The Krogan was, well, a Krogan: plenty of battle scars and a stare so menacing it could curdle milk. The Asari appeared to be one of the Eclipse sisters, by the look of her armor. I couldn't tell much about the Quarian, apart from the fact that he favored sub-machine guns. The Turian, to my surprise, was a female. Her white clan markings reminded me of Nihlus.

"Time to die," the Krogan said. He laughed that slow Krogan laugh.

I rolled my eyes.

"Really? All the lines in the galaxy, and that's the one you went with?" the Quarian asked.

I jerked my head in the Quarian's direction. "What he said."

"Shut it, halfwit," the Quarian snapped.

The Asari fidgeted impatiently. "Get the bitch up. We have a job to do and I need to be on a different continent killing a different human by tomorrow morning."

The Turian said nothing, but stepped towards me and jerked me upwards out of my chair, digging her claws into the meat of my upper arm. I winced and my legs protested the sudden change in position.

"You ready to be a vid star, Commander?" she asked, the tones of her voice mocking me.

I spat in the Turian's face. She flinched and then glared at me incredulously.

"That was unnecessary," she remarked. Her voice was soured, but not angry.

Anders could learn a thing or two from this one about keeping a temper in check, I thought.

She wiped the moisture from her cheek. I frowned. There was something strange about her clan markings. I couldn't be sure, but it looked like they were changing color. Where she'd touched her face, a darker-colored line seemed to appear from beneath the white and it looked almost like part of the ornate white markings had disappeared entirely, leaving nothing underneath.

I felt some semblance of understanding gnawing at my gut, but I couldn't make sense of it in the moment. She turned away from me, then, and I rationalized that the spot had been so small I'd probably only imagined it, especially given the fact that I hadn't eaten anything in three days.

I was marched out of the room and down a few dozen more hallways. The Turian walked with a limp, too, which meant that I didn't have to struggle to keep up with her pace.

Much to my small enjoyment, Anders joined us halfway through our trek.

"Did you miss me?" I asked him. "I know I missed that pretty little face of yours, Anders. We should keep in touch, you and I. Be penpals after I get out of here. Meet up now and then to braid each other's hair."

I talked a big game, but I had already resigned myself to the fact that I was not getting out of the facility alive. I wasn't going to let them execute me without a fight, that was for damned sure, but I doubted my ability to escape, given my current physical condition.

Anders turned red and walked faster, leading the group.

We turned a corner and walked onto a set that reminded me oddly of the Blasto filming I'd interrupted on the Citadel. Taust muttered something to Anders before leaving.

Coward couldn't even stick around to watch his little skit play out.

I was struck by how nonchalant the Cerberus operatives in the room were. There were only a handful there, and they were laughing and talking and preparing the set like they were about to shoot a commercial for detergent, rather than a murder.

The Turian marched me over to the center of the room and forced me onto my knees. My arms were still bound behind my back. The other mercs stayed behind the camera and recording equipment, talking amongst themselves.

The stage lights were blinding, the heat was intense, and four heavily armed mercenaries were about to aim very large weapons at my head.

Fuck would be an understatement.

My mind searched for an idea better than "jump to your feet and kick everyone in the room to death."

The Turian moved to stand behind me. I felt her rifle barrel pressing between my shoulder blades.

"Five minutes till show time," someone called from beyond the lights.

I heard the Turian bend at the waist and then I heard her voice in my ear.

"Spitting in people's faces isn't a great way to make friends, you know."

"Fuck off, princess."

"Ouch. Nobody mentioned you had the conversational tact of a Krogan."

"And I suppose 'nobody' told you everything there is to know about me?" I asked bitterly, still frantically piecing together an escape - or, more likely, a last stand - in my head.

"I've heard a couple of things," she said, lowering her voice to a murmur. "I heard you have a thing for Turians."

There was a zest of joviality in her voice that threw me off. I bristled defensively.

"Not Turians," I snapped, "a Turian. And once you do this, you're going to have him to answer to."

"Now there's a terrifying thought," she said. "He's hard to kill."

Before I could ask her how she could have known enough about Garrus to say that - my mind jumping back to the conversation he and I had had when we reunited on Menae - I felt something being pressed against my forearm.

Everything clicked into place when I realized she'd strapped an omnitool to my wrist.

The limp was from a broken leg a few months back.

The discoloration of her facial tattoos wasn't discoloration at all.

Her clan markings weren't white.

She'd painted over them.

"Solana?" I whispered harshly. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it sooner: she was the spitting image of her brother, minus his crest. I could see now that her actual clan markings - subtly visible in a small fleck beneath her left eye - were the same dark blue as his. Even her voice had the same swaggering quality.

I never knew she'd taken up the life of a mercenary, but I did know that Garrus would lose his shit when he heard about our current circumstance.

Assuming one of us lived to tell him about it.

"Sol," she corrected. "And don't worry. I won't mention the face-spitting incident at the next family reunion. At least, not until there's been enough ryncol passed around for it to be funny."

"You need to leave. Now." I spoke through my teeth and glanced around the room, making sure nobody was listening in.

She ignored me. "You've got a blade, a cloak, and the option to incinerate anything that breathes. He told me you were partial to that one."

"Sol."

"I have a spare rifle for you, once things get started. Good range, great scope. I was glad to hear you two share a passion for sniping. A couple that assassinates together stays together, as they say."

"Sol, you-"

"Wait for my signal. You'll know it when you see it."

"Sol, you can't just-" I protested, but she had already walked away.

Clearly, the ability to shut up and listen hadn't quite made it into all of the Vakarians' genes.

"One minute to show time," the voice behind the camera said.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

My mind raced. At least I was armed, now. And Solana was armed, too. I was still struggling to believe she was really here. We stood a fighting chance, provided we got the opportunity to start a fight before I was blown to pieces on a galaxy-wide live vidcast.

"Thirty seconds."

The mercs all positioned themselves in the frame, assuming menacing stances. Solana aimed her assault rifle at the back of my head and the others lined up beside her, weapons down at their sides. Presumably, there was going to be some kind of speech before I was shot to death.

"Fifteen seconds."

"You remember your lines?" the Asari drawled.

"Of course I do. Worry about your own lines," the Quarian answered.

"Ten."

Almost reassuringly, Solana tapped the back of my head with the rifle.

"Nine."

The Krogan growled, shifting his weight with obvious excitement.

"Eight."

"You're sure you remember your lines?" the Asari asked again.

"Seven."

"Don't make me kill you after we're done here," the Quarian said.

"Six."

"Please. I'd like to see you try."

"Five."

"Shut it, you two," the Krogan interjected before the Quarian could retort.

"Four."

I shut my eyes and gulped.

"Three."

"Relax. Get ready," Solana said. I knew she meant the words for me. I flexed the fingers of my left hand, getting ready to unleash omniblade fury on a room full of mercs and Cerberus shitheads.

"Two."

I opened my eyes again. The lights in the room outside of the stage dimmed and a red recording light flickered on in the darkened space.

"One."

The Quarian took a breath and then started speaking.

"Citizens of the galaxy," he said, "this is a live feed. We have in our possession Commander Adrienne Shepard of the Alliance Navy."

I grimaced at the sound of my given name.

"The news vids would have you believe that this soldier is a hero. But we Council races know this is not the case."

The Asari spoke up, now. "She has plunged the galaxy into darkness. She destroyed the relays and is solely responsible for the destruction of every synthetic life in the galaxy."

Even though I knew she was only reciting lines, her words stung. I tensed, ready to power-on my omnitool and take the Asari to hell.

"Humanity is a danger to us all," the Krogan said, "and it must be squelched. Commander Shepard is only the first to cause such destruction. Humans can no longer be trusted."

There was an awkward moment of silence after he finished talking.

Solana cleared her throat.

"For any of our Alliance viewers in the general vicinity of Victoria, Canada, this facility is 3.48 miles southeast of the First Contact Memorial Park," she said, her voice so matter-of-fact that I couldn't help but grin, "located in the lower levels of the Cybernetics Incorporated building. We are not representatives of the Council races, and were hired by-"

"Turian bitch!" the Krogan snarled.

A shot rang out directly above my head and the Krogan's body fell heavily to the ground beside me, missing a significant portion of its head.

I flicked the omniblade from its electronic sheath and cut through the rope around my hands. Seeing that the other mercs were bringing their weapons to their shoulders, I somersaulted towards the camera.

Solana took the Quarian down with a few rounds to the chest. She backed away from the fray and took cover behind a few metal crates.

The red recording light had disappeared. I charged out of the limelight and tackled the nearest body I encountered, sinking the omniblade into the neck of a woman. I threw her, gasping, to the ground, activated my cloak, and let my eyes adjust to the darkness for a moment.

Behind me, the Asari was rounding on Solana, building up a blue biotic field around her body. Solana fired a few rounds which didn't punch through the Asari's shields and then took cover to reload her rifle.

I rounded on another crew member and slashed through his stomach, effectively gutting him.

Then I saw Anders.

He was whipping his assault rifle through the air, clearly trying to spot me. I smirked. Moving carefully - the cloak didn't make me completely invisible, and sudden movements tended to make my location rather obvious - I crept behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Goodbye, Anders."

I stabbed my omniblade into his back and twisted it against his spinal cord with a satisfying crunch. I shoved his lifeless body forward and then walked over him. The rest of the film crew had vanished.

My stomach fell when I saw that Solana was having trouble reloading her weapon - the old heat clip was stuck inside it - and that the Asari was getting ready to slam her with biotic energy.

I leveled my omnitool at the merc and jammed my finger against a button, sending a spiraling pulse of heat slamming into her chest.

I caught her off-guard and tore through her remaining shields, which flickered out of existence just as my cloak did the same.

"Fuck," I swore and sprinted to join Solana behind her cover.

I slid behind the crates, panting. The adrenaline had soothed most of my aches and pains, but damned if I wasn't already getting fatigued.

An alarm sounded. Red lights flashed and a siren blared, echoing in the endless halls of the building.

"There was mention of another rifle?" I shouted over the noise.

Solana finally snapped the spent clip from her weapon and slid a replacement inside. She glanced at me and unstrapped a sniper rifle from her back. It was barely in my hands before she was on her feet, firing at the Asari again.

It was no Mantis or Widow, but it felt really fucking good to have a gun in my hands again.

The Asari cried out and thudded against the floor.

Solana scanned the room. "Clear."

She offered me a hand up, just like her brother had so many times before.

"Ready to get out of this place?" she asked.

"You have no idea," I answered.

* * *

_A/N: Because if there's anything this story needed, it's MORE VAKARIAN! WOO!_

_Question: what is your Shep's favorite weapon? I almost always play Inflitrator, but I want to get some ideas for favorite guns of other classes and whatnot._

_Thank you all so much for reading & reviewing!_


	10. Chapter 10

_29 October 2186, Somewhere below Victoria, Earth_

We sprinted around another corner. Even with her lilting gait, Solana was able to move much more quickly than I could. Hunger gnawed at the lining of my stomach and, more than anything, I wanted to take a nap.

We'd been running for the past five minutes without interruption. Cerberus was likely planning to cut us off outside of the coverless hallways.

"Where are we going?" I panted.

"Out the back," Solana replied. "There's a hangar not too far ahead. Plenty of cover. They'll head us off, there, but we'll be able to beat them back and make a run for it."

"We will?" Normally, I'd be charging headfirst into the fray at full speed, but the past few months had done quite a bit to shake my confidence.

She shot a look at me over her shoulder. "If your service history is any indicator, Vakarians and Shepards do well together in combat situations. With any luck, we'll have some Alliance reinforcements on our side, too."

"Smart move, back there, by the way. Probably the most bizarre few seconds of vid anyone has ever seen, but very effective."

We stopped at a door and Solana persuaded it to open by pumping a few rounds into the lock. Behind it was a staircase.

I heaved a few breaths and then followed her up.

"Thanks," she said.

A thought occurred to me. "How did you end up here, anyways?"

She shrugged. "Heard about a merc job from some of my contacts a few days ago. Seemed fishy. Had Cerberus's name all over it. When I heard about you going missing, I figured it might be connected."

"There were news vids about me getting abducted?"

"No, of course not. They've already got riots on their hands. They're not about to incite even more panic."

"Then how-"

"Garrus told me you hadn't been answering his calls. Said he knew something was wrong."

"Oh." My heart sank. Then a thought occurred to me. "So he knows you're here, then?"

She gave me that incredulous stare, again. "Do you really think he'd have let me go through with all of this, if he did?"

Of course not, I answered silently.

We reached the door at the top of the stairs.

"Ready?" she asked.

I checked the clip in my rifle and loaded a shot into the chamber.

"Let's murder some human supremacists," I answered.

She opened the door using the same method as before and we were immediately under fire.

We ducked and ran for cover, bracing ourselves against a forklift.

The hangar was huge, filled to bursting with various transports, stacks of crates, out-of-repair mechs, and Cerberus troopers.

I perched my rifle over the edge of the forklift's treads and shouted, "Break off! Crack some heads, I'll cover you!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

I sighted a Cerberus helmet and pulled the trigger. It took me a moment to remember how it felt to have a gun kick against my shoulder, but muscle memory took over and it was like I'd never stopped fighting.

I loaded another round into the chamber. Sighted another helmet. Pulled the trigger. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I heard Solana grunt and the all-too-familiar gasping and groaning of an assault trooper in his final moments. I scanned the hangar and watched as she lined up a shot and took down a few more troopers.

We cleared a few yards and I moved to new cover, hiding myself behind a few barrels of something I hoped wasn't flammable. I sniped down a few more troopers while Solana ripped a couple apart with her omniblade.

"Having fun, Shepard?" she called, tossing a man's disembodied arm aside.

I pulled the trigger and blasted a hole through a trooper's chest cavity.

"More fun than I've had in months," I shouted back. It was true. I hadn't realized just how badly I'd been craving this rush.

I ejected my empty cartridge and plucked a replacement from a nearby, headless corpse. My partner in crime dove into a group of five or six troopers, gunning them to shreds and beating them into pulps. She really was her brother's sister.

I was so focused on reloading and keeping an eye on Solana, I didn't notice the assault trooper on my six until he was only a few feet away from me. My head snapped up when I heard his boots stop behind me.

He roared and brought his stun rod up over his head, electric current visible on the end of the fork.

I braced myself for the impact and watched as the trooper swung the weapon in an arc over his shoulder.

And then his head exploded.

Red blood scattered around me and the body crumpled. The stun rod fell to the ground harmlessly.

I blinked.

Well, that was unusual.

I looked back to Solana, who had just finished putting holes in the last of her prey. It hadn't been her; she was far too occupied to have that kind of aim.

Then I heard the low-frequency pulse of a biotic stasis field activating somewhere beyond my cover.

Fuck.

I turned back to my sniping, watching through the scope as a wave of centurions and guardians entered the hangar from another door, trying to flank us. I frowned. There weren't any more Eclipse sisters mixed in with the newcomers, and Cerberus didn't usually favor biotics.

I managed to catch a guardian through the "mail slot" - as Garrus had deemed it - and mentally added a tally to my running total of what he'd termed our "Going Postal" competition, after I'd explained to him what the phrase meant.

Cerberus bodies started hitting the floor, and not just the ones Solana and I were taking out. I watched through the scope as another trooper lost his head nowhere near Solana and then I stopped breathing when I heard a familiar voice shout from across the hangar.

"Solana Vakarian!" Garrus roared, absolutely enraged in a way I'd never heard before. "You and I need to have a talk!"

I almost jumped over the barrels and sprinted across the room. I didn't know how it was possible, but it was them. My crew was here.

"Won't that be fun!" Solana yelled back, grabbing a trooper by the head and snapping his neck.

Stay focused, Shepard.

Click. Hiss. Aim. Fire.

We had cleared about half of the room when the telltale thuds of a mech started thundering from beyond the main entrance to the hangar.

"Shepard!" Liara's voice shouted. "Make your way to the north side of the hangar! We'll cover you!"

"Shuttle's ready outside, Lola! Run for it!" Vega called.

Even as Solana and I started sprinting in their direction, gunfire raining around us, I shouted back, "You sure you all remember how to cover my ass?"

In answer to my jest, the thick form of James Vega stepped out of cover and fired his weapon at one of the centurions, felling the man easily.

The Atlas's footsteps drew nearer to the hangar and I could make out the top of its domed cockpit. A trooper cut off my route and I slid behind a stack of crates, firing a few rounds at his shields as I went. Solana kept running, not realizing why I'd faltered.

The trooper fired back and caught me in the shoulder.

Fucker.

I threw my back against the crates and pressed a hand against the wound. It was a through-and-through. Blood soaked my shirt and I sucked a breath through my teeth.

Boom. The beloved sound of a Mantis firing. I looked over my cover and, sure enough, found another headless Cerberus jackass on the ground.

Solana reappeared beside me and lifted me to my feet.

"Come on, Shepard!" she shouted.

I resumed my sprinting, running off-kilter as I held pressure against my shoulder. The mech was in the hangar, now, and it was making its way towards the north wall.

Almost there. We ran faster.

Liara sent a chain of biotic blasts flying past us, catching a few guardians and sending them flying.

Just a few yards, now. I could see their faces clearly, and I smiled despite the gaping hole in my shoulder and the deafening roar of mech cannon fire coming from the center of the hangar.

I ran past a crate, heading towards the sinuous, shadowy form of a certain Turian sniper. Liara appeared from behind her cover, grabbed me, and pulled me aside just as the Atlas fired its repeater in my direction. I skidded against the tank she'd taken refuge behind and let myself slide down to the floor for a moment.

Solana wasted no time and fired back at the mech.

"Sol! Get your ass behind cover and stay down!" Garrus shouted.

"You're not the boss of me!" Solana said, her tones assuming the trademark, needling qualities of a younger sibling.

"Nice of you all to drop in," I panted, grinning. "Totally could have taken them all ourselves, though. For the record."

Liara smiled. "I'm sure, Shepard."

She returned her focus to the battle and so did I.

I turned, took aim, and fired a few rounds, dropping another trooper.

"Vega," I barked, "if you brought any big guns with you, now would be the time."

"I'd say you're right about that one, Sir," Vega shouted back.

A few moments later, a missile whistled through the air from Vega's position and struck the Atlas, shattering the glass dome. Another shot from the Mantis somewhere behind us sent the operator tumbling to the ground, holding his neck.

A few more rounds of gunfire and the hangar fell silent.

"Looks clear," Garrus called.

From a few yards behind me.

In the same system.

On the same planet.

In the same room.

It was hard to breathe for a moment and I told myself it was the bullet wound. Liara helped me to my feet and gave me a knowing look, raising her eyebrows and tilting her chin downwards.

"Oh, shut it," I said, grinning.

"Here, Shepard." Liara handed me a tube of medigel. I unscrewed the lid and squeezed some of the paste into my hand, rubbing it to warm it up before massaging it into my shoulder. I inhaled sharply and then exhaled a sigh of relief when the sweet, beautiful numbing effect of the gel started its good works.

"Keep your eyes open," Vega said, standing from behind a concrete railing. "Thermal shows reinforcements on the way. Everyone, get back to the shuttle, double time."

I handed the medigel back to Liara. The simple, mundane motion soothed my weary mind. It was like I'd never left in the first place, and we were just on another one of our missions together.

We all made for the nearest exit at a run. Sure enough, just as the last of us had cleared the hangar, more gunfire erupted behind us, clattering against the closing door.

"You sure you don't want to hang around for some more target practice? Hone your aim a little?" I asked James, cocking an eyebrow.

"Maybe if you were equipped for the job, Commander," Vega said eyeing my filthy, bloody fatigues.

"Besides," Garrus said, walking up from behind me, "you don't need to hone what's already perfect."

Hearing his voice so close after so long sent a shiver through my body. He rested a hand on my lower back and I nearly melted into a puddle on the tarmac.

I laughed and playfully shoved him. "Ass."

He grabbed me by my forearm and pulled me back towards him almost possessively. We stopped walking.

"You really need to stop making a habit of disappearing from the face of the galaxy without warning," he said quietly.

"I'll do my best." I stood on my toes and pressed a kiss against his old scars. "Thanks for covering me, back there. Could have been a lot worse than a shoulder-shot."

Garrus stiffened and looked away from me, reacting almost as though I'd slapped him. I blinked, confused.

Solana purposefully walked into her brother with her shoulder.

"Break it up, lovebirds. We need to get gone," she said.

We followed her towards the Normandy's shuttle. James and Liara were already onboard.

"Sol," Garrus said flatly. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but-"

"But I did a stupid thing and I should stop doing stupid things because eventually one of those stupid things is going to get me killed?" she finished for him.

Solana hopped up into the shuttle. Garrus and I followed.

"Basically, yeah," he said.

He and I strapped ourselves into our chairs and Solana stood in front of us, gripping one of the straps on the ceiling. She reached out and patted Garrus's head.

"You're welcome, big brother," she said.

Garrus's hand found mine and I gripped it tightly.

He sighed.

"Let's get this bird in the sky and the Commander back home," James said from the pilot's seat.

"Just focus on not crashing the shuttle this time, Vega." I grinned.

"You got it, Lola!"

Home, I thought.

We're going home.

* * *

_A/N: Yay! Shepard is reunited with the crew! Now the real fun can start._

_Thank you all so much for reading & for your reviews!_


	11. Chapter 11

_29 October 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"I can't believe nobody called me up to the bridge when you called, Shepard," Tali said, crossing her arms.

"I cannot believe it, either. It was very insulting," Javik added.

"I can't believe you two are still bitter about that," Joker grumbled.

"What did you say?" Tali cocked her head.

"It was a pretty short conversation, anyways, Tali," I intervened before Joker could retort. "Besides, I'm here now, right?" I flexed my shoulder absently as I spoke. It was healing up quickly, thanks to the medi-gel, but my movement was rewarded with a nice, sharp pain.

Tali sighed. "True. But you owe me a drink in Engineering so we can catch up."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." I smiled. Drunk Tali was my favorite Tali.

"You do not owe me a drink," Javik said. I waited for him to continue, but he stared at me blankly and it seemed that was all he had to say. I'd forgotten how strange having a 50,000 year-old around could be.

Everyone was in the CIC, standing in a circle between the elevator and the galaxy map. We'd attacked our rations like a pack of wolves and were basking in the afterglow of a good meal with some light conversation.

"So," I said, "what has my crew been doing, since I left the picture?"

"Same as usual, really," James said. "Fighting the good fight."

"Trying to piece things back together," Garrus added. Liara was standing next to him, and she glanced at him almost nervously after he spoke. I frowned a little.

"Did you find out what Cerberus wanted with you, this time?" Tali asked.

"Same shit, different day," I said. "They're hatching yet another scheme to force their twisted agenda on the rest of galactic society. I sent Hackett a message about it from the shuttle, but I haven't heard anything back, yet. Don't know if it's going to be up to us to stop the crazy fuckers. Again."

"Wonderful," Tali deadpanned in the way only Tali could.

"Primitives," Javik said under his breath.

I owed Joker 30 credits - it had only taken thirteen minutes since the conversation started for Javik to use the word, and I had bet that he would be able to refrain for at least twenty. The pilot made eye contact with me from across the room, smirked, and then rubbed his thumb and forefingers together in the universal sign for "pay up, chump."

"How did you all find me, down there?" I asked.

Solana cleared her throat pointedly and I rolled my eyes.

"I mean, besides the daring and brilliant infiltration on Sol's part. You all got there so quickly, you had to have been nearby, already. And Sol told me she wasn't working with you all, so how did you end up being the first responders?"

"The relays opened up a day and a half ago, and we've been moored in Victoria since then," Joker explained. "Someone, who shall remain nameless, insisted upon it." He glanced meaningfully at Garrus.

"Hey, you all were right behind me," he said, holding his three-fingered hands up defensively, "I just lead the charge."

"That sounds like you." I smiled.

"We were close, but we probably wouldn't have made it in time to- in time, if it weren't for Sol doing what she did," Garrus said. "Even though it was completely reckless and I don't support it at all, for the record." He stressed the last sentence and glared at his sister.

"Yeah, yeah," Solana said. "Well, _for the record,_ I heard you the first dozen times. But that's what you get for never telling me where the hell you are! If you'd said you were back on Earth, I'd have clued you in, but no. You insist that its classified, and you never tell me anything."

"That's because it would be a federal offense." Garrus crossed his arms.

"Oh, I forgot you were such a stickler for rules, Mr. Vigilante Justice," Solana retorted.

I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing aloud at the sight of the siblings squabbling.

"We were canvassing Victoria when Sol's message was broadcasted. It was just a matter of getting into the shuttle and guessing which exit you two would be most likely to try," Liara finished explaining to me.

"Ah," I nodded gratefully to Liara for the clarification, and I watched as Garrus and Solana carried on their muted, heated tiff.

"Does you being back mean I have to give up that cushy bed upstairs, Sir?" James asked loudly, cutting the Vakarians off before they started throwing punches. He said it as a joke, but I could tell there was some small part of him that was disappointed about having another Commander onboard.

I shook my head. "Wouldn't dream of kicking you out of your quarters, Commander Vega. I think I can find somewhere else to bunk, if I look hard enough." I flicked my eyes to Garrus, who nodded in agreement.

"But aren't you the big officer on campus, now?" Joker asked.

I shrugged. "I haven't been reinstated by the Council or the Alliance, yet, so no."

There was a brief silence.

"So, you're on the Normandy and you're not in charge?" Joker's brows furrowed. "This is weird."

Tell me about it, I thought.

I laughed it off. "I could use the break, honestly."

"Speaking of," Solana cut in, "I am exhausted. I think I'm going to go find a quiet corner somewhere and pass out. Assuming I'm able to stay, of course?" She looked questioningly at James and something stirred in my gut. It was strange not to have the final word in the goings-on on my ship. I didn't like it. But then, right now, the Normandy wasn't exactly mine.

"Of course," James said. "And the lady's got the right idea. Let's turn in for the night. Let the Commander get her beauty sleep."

"Yeah. She could use it."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Joker."

* * *

It was a tight fit, with both of us laying in Garrus's bunk, but some careful balancing had been able to make it work without any midnight tumbles to the floor. We'd both slept soundly through the night, passing out as soon as our heads had hit the mattress. I was tucked in the crook of his arm, tracing shapes absently over his abdominal plates as my mind struggled to wake up and prepare for another day.

"If Sol happens to mention that I spat in her face, just know that I didn't know who she was, at the time."

He chuckled. "I'm sure she deserved it."

"She's a feisty one."

"You don't have to tell me. I grew up with the hellion."

"That must be where she gets all that charm from." I looked up and grinned at him. He smiled a little, but he seemed stiff. Awkward.

Well, more awkward than usual.

"It's weird, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"That she happened to guess that I was somehow related to a veiled Cerberus call for mercs." I couldn't help but be suspicious. I liked Solana well enough, but something about the entire situation was just odd.

Garrus shrugged. "She's smart. Sometimes a little too smart."

"Good fighter, too," I continued. "Covered my sorry ass like a trained professional, back there."

He sat up abruptly and swung his legs over the edge of the bunk.

"What's- what's wrong?" I asked, flustered. I shivered with the sudden loss of his body heat beside me.

"It's nothing, Shepard." He stood and walked over to his console.

"Garrus," I sighed. "Tell me. You know better than most that I'm not delicate. I can take it." I smiled but my expression faltered when I saw the look he gave me.

I sat on the edge of the bed. "Garrus. Tell me."

"Is that an order, Commander?" he said. The ice in his words stung.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I narrowed my eyes as I slowly stood up. "Where the fuck is this coming from, all of the sudden?"

"I said it's nothing." He turned to walk down the length of the room but I stopped him with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Spill it. Now."

I'd never pushed him like this before. It felt wrong, like I was betraying him somehow, but damn it, I needed to know what was going on. He'd been short with me ever since I set foot back on the Normandy and I already felt off, not being in command.

He stiffened under my hand.

"You left," he said simply, walking out of my reach and running his talons down the length of the main gun.

I blinked. "Well, yeah. I had to stop the Reapers. It was the plan all along, Garrus, and you knew that."

"Oh, was it?" he turned to face me. His crest was bristling and I could feel anger coming off of him. "Because I thought the plan was for us to finish it together."

"You were injured. That vehicle exploded and it tumbled over you and you couldn't fight. There was no way." I felt my cheeks flush and I felt my growing anger sinking its teeth into my voice. "I couldn't risk-"

"Couldn't risk what? Couldn't risk my life? What about your life, Shepard?" Garrus was yelling now, the tones of his voice carrying all of the menace that thousands of years of predatory evolution had to offer. "Spirits, you could barely stand! Your armor was hanging off of your body like damned tissue paper! Can you even begin to comprehend what it felt like, watching you walk away like that?"

"I did what I had to do!" I shouted back at him. "I'm not going to apologize for what I did out there. The Reapers are gone! We're alive! What's your fucking problem?"

He grabbed me by my shoulders. "My problem is that you don't seem to understand exactly what you did! Not to the Reapers. Not to the synthetics. Not even to the damned galaxy. To me, Shepard." He pushed me backwards and I stumbled a little.

My breath hitched in my throat. "And what, exactly, did I do to you?"

Garrus stepped forward and pointed a talon at the ground to drive his point home. "You left," he repeated. "And the next time I saw you- on the vids, you were so damaged I couldn't recognize you. Your heart stopped six times when you were out, and every time I would read the articles and watch the news vids and know that there wasn't anything I could do because I already failed you when I let you go up there alone. Spirits, Shepard, I should have been there to cover you."

I was beginning to understand. My tone softened somewhat. "I left."

His hand dropped to his side. He looked down at the floor. I stepped towards him and brushed my thumb against his coarse cheek.

"I'm sorry, Garrus," I said. "I didn't realize. But I couldn't risk your life." He opened his mouth to speak and I stopped him with a finger. "And I know you'd have gladly given it. I know that. Don't think for a second that I didn't want you there to cover me, because you're the best fucking solider I've ever fought beside and when you're not watching my back, I feel naked. When I-"

I broke off and blinked a few tears from my eyes frustratedly. Garrus brought a finger to my chin and gently tilted my face upwards.

I made myself continue. "When I went into that beam, I didn't expect to come back. It wasn't safe for you, there. Fuck, it wasn't safe for _anyone_, there. The Illusive Man made me- I- I shot Anderson up there, Garrus. I didn't have any control over my own body. I wasn't- I didn't know what to expect up in the Citadel, but I knew it would be bad. I couldn't bring you with me. Not when you were already hurt. I needed to know you'd be safe."

"And I needed to know _you'd_ be safe. I didn't want you sitting at that bar alone." He pulled me to him and held me against his chest.

"I didn't want you sitting at that bar at all."

We were both silent, for a moment. I listened to his fast Turian heartbeat and wrapped my arms around him.

"Just... take me with you, next time, alright?" He said, his voice resuming its usual jaunty tones.

I laughed. "Next time?"

"When the two of us are together, it's only a matter of time before a suicide mission is on the horizon."

"True," I said.

"But really, Adrienne. I'm not letting you out of my sights, ever again. You get into too much damned trouble. I won't leave your side, this time." He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. A flash of fascination crossed his face. Hair had always baffled him.

"And I won't ask you to."

"Good. I wouldn't listen, even if you did."

"Mutiny."

"Insubordination. It's only mutiny if I steal your job, afterwards."

We stared at each other, grinning like idiots. I watched as an idea entered his head and he looked at me mischievously.

"You feel like blowing off a little steam?" he asked.

* * *

_A/N: So, I know I'm terrible for making you all wait this long, but if you're here for some lemons, get excited for tomorrow. Muahahaha!_

_Also, if you guys were a species in the ME universe (besides human), which do you think you'd be? I feel like I should make one of those Harry-Potter-Sorting-Hat-type cheesy online quizzes for this, but I'm seriously curious! _


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Alright, so I feel like I need to put a disclaimer up here, because even though the description gives fair warning about certain citruses making an appearance, I want you to know going into this chapter that things are going to get smutty. More lemony than lemon meringue. More hot than an Arizona summer. _

_So buckle up, marines. Things are about to get bumpy. _

* * *

_30 October 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Oh, Spirits-"

"Fuck!"

"Ah-"

"That feel good?"

"Ye- Ahh!"

"Am I the only one who feels a little weird watching this?" Joker asked the room as I rolled and launched Garrus over my shoulder.

My Turian landed heavily on his back. "Damn, Shepard!" he laughed before lunging at me again.

"Nope," James said, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side. "This is definitely weird."

"It's not weird, it's therapeutic," I grunted as Garrus slammed into me and locked an arm around my head. "Besides," I wheezed and elbowed Garrus in the chest, "you're up next, Vega."

I brought my foot down on Garrus's instep and he yelped. I scrambled out of his hold and bodily tackled him to the ground, keeping pressure on his pectoral plates with my knee. Neither of us were in our armor - he was wearing loose-fitting trousers and I was wearing my fatigues - and he was just as fragile as I was.

"You ready to tap out, Vakarian?"

"Not quite," he grunted. "I've still got my reach, remember?"

Garrus smirked and suddenly his taloned hands were lifting me off of him and holding me up in the air like a child.

"Oh, you bastard!" I laughed and swung my fists uselessly at him.

He threw me to the side, rolled on top of me, and pinned my arms over my head. I loved moments like these. They were primal. I could feel the predatory instincts vibrating in his muscles and I relished the physical release of grappling with another body.

"Alright, alright," I panted. "I surrender."

He nipped my neck affectionately and then got to his feet, offering me a hand up.

"Awww, how sweet," Joker said.

"You're damn right it is," I said, sauntering over to the side of the makeshift ring - we'd moved the table out of the mess hall and tacked down a bed sheet - and retrieving my canteen from the floor. The whole crew was in the room, talking and drinking and enjoying a well-deserved break. Garrus's idea for blowing off steam was a popular one, and we all needed an outlet after the events of the previous months.

It was unanimously decided that the day would be spent frivolously, starting with a morning of sparring.

Vega walked onto the mat and threw his arms over his head. "Who dares challenge the might of Commander James Vega, Spectre Extraordinaire?"

I gulped down a mouthful of water and raised my brows at Joker. "How about you, Joker? You up for it?"

"Hah, hah. Very funny, Commander." Joker shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I'll do it," Liara said, much to the surprise of everyone else in the room. Her face hinted at a small smile as she continued, "We can settle once and for all whether or not muscle beats biotics." She sashayed into the ring with a little more sass than her gait usually possessed and I patted her shoulder as she passed me.

"Give him hell," I said under my breath with a grin.

Vega rolled his shoulders. "Alright, Liara, you sure you're ready to tango?"

"Depends," she said. "Are you sure you're ready to lose?"

Vega laughed. "We'll see who's ready to lose in a minute, Blue."

He put up his fists.

Liara closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.

They both moved at once: Vega swinging and Liara sending a wave of biotic energy in his direction. Each dodged the other's attack.

The entire crew was watching intently.

Solana walked over to me and slapped me on the back. "Good fight, Shepard! It was nice to see someone knock that bonehead around, for a change, even if he did manage to win, somehow." She spoke loud enough for her brother to hear her, and Garrus gave a theatrical bow from the opposite side of the room.

"Really, though." Solana lowered her voice. "You two got into it this morning, didn't you?"

"You eavesdropping, Sol?" I raised a brow at her and drank more of my water.

"No. I could just tell. Body language," she said. "He's been dealing with a lot, since you left. He knew he wasn't responsible for what you did, but he always felt responsible for what happened to you. Glad to hear you hashed it out."

I frowned a little. "Yeah, me too." Even though we'd fought, it hadn't seemed as serious a problem as Solana made it out to be. I wondered if Garrus had held something back.

Speaking of the devil, Garrus chose that moment to swagger over to us. "I always enjoy a little armor-less wrestling with you, Shepard," he said. "At least I came out on top, for once."

"And that's my cue to leave and rinse my ears with boiling water," Solana said, grimacing. She stalked off in the direction of the kitchen.

Liara and James were still dancing around each other in the ring, neither able to land a blow.

"Come on, you two!" I shouted. "Give us something fun to watch!"

"Yeah!" Tali called. "Hit each other!"

I snorted. Good ol' Tali.

Garrus murmured in my ear, "If you're bored, Commander, I can think of a few things to keep you entertained." He slowly trailed a talon down the back of my neck.

"You can?" I said quietly. "Elaborate, Vakarian."

On the mat, Liara threw a biotic wave at James and finally managed to knock him off-balance. He stumbled and regained his footing just in time for her to sweep him into the air inside of a singularity. She took a few steps closer and looked up at her opponent.

"Are you doing okay up there, Commander Vega?" she asked with all the posterity her voice had to offer.

"Feelin' great, Blue!" Vega said, tumbling head-over-heels a yard above the floor.

"Well," Garrus growled in my ear, "I'd have to get you out of these clothes, first." He tugged at the back of my collar and I leaned backwards against his bare chest. "They're blocking my view."

"Blocking your view of what?" I asked, feigning innocence. The rest of the crew remained focused on the match, oblivious to our flirtation on the sidelines.

"Your body. Which, I should probably let you know, I intend to ravage."

"You're getting better at flirting," I said, cocking an eyebrow. "Been practicing without me?" I snuck a hand over my shoulder and around his neck and gently stroked my fingers just below his fringe. He bent his head and nipped at my ear, growling a little.

"Been watching a few vids. You know. Research."

The singularity disappeared from existence and Vega fell to the ground, taking Liara with him in a half-tackle-half-free-fall; she'd been standing too close when her biotic field ran out of juice.

Liara scrambled to escape but James pinned her with an elbow.

"Hah! Got'cha!"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Liara said just before a wave of blue light emanated from her body and threw Vega across the mat.

"Careful!" Joker said from the sidelines. "Don't throw him against my ship too hard, he might dent the bulkhead with his bulk head."

Tali crossed her arms. "Really, Joker? A pun? And a bad one, at that? At this rate, we're going to have to come up with something else to call you."

Joker made a crude hand gesture at her and Tali retaliated with one of her own. The crew - including Joker and Tali - laughed.

"Mmm. Research. Hot." I grinned. "What else did you learn?"

"Let's just say there are a few parts of your body I intend to pay special attention to, during the aforementioned ravaging." Discretely, he traced a talon around the inside of my thigh from behind me.

I stifled a surprised moan. He chuckled against my neck.

"Vakarian."

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Your quarters. Five minutes."

He placed his hands on my hips. "Forgive the insubordination, Commander," he said, "but I'm not waiting that long." He lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder.

I yelped and thrashed instinctively, almost kicking Traynor in the face.

The pair on the mat continued their sparring, even as the rest of the crew erupted into catcalls.

"Get a room!" Joker called, cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Already have one," Garrus retorted over his shoulder.

He carried me towards the Main Battery and we left the rest of the crew to their wrestling matches, rushing to start our own rematch.

* * *

The door had barely finished whooshing shut behind us and we were already on each other. Garrus tore at my fatigues desperately, and I hooked my fingers under the waistline of his trousers. He struggled to manipulate my shirt over my head in between hurried kisses.

"Need help?" I breathed, smirking at him.

"No, I think I have it figured out," he growled and promptly ripped my shirt in half, throwing it aside.

I laughed, wrapped my arms around his carapace, and hiked my legs up around his waist. He grabbed my thighs and held me up, pressing against me slightly. I moaned in response.

"I love that sound," he said. I inhaled sharply and moaned a little louder as he ground one handful of talons against my bared lower back.

"And I love this one," I countered. I reached one hand up and stroked his crest, using the other hand to massage the soft spot just above the back of his neck. He let out a low, guttural groan that reverberated in my chest.

"Spirits, Shepard, you drive me wild."

"Me?" I smirked and traced a finger lightly over the sensitive line between his pectoral plates. He shuddered. "Doesn't sound like something I would do."

Without warning, he took a few quick steps forward and pushed me up against the main gun. I ground into hips and he tugged at my pants.

"Gonna rip those apart, too?" I asked, smiling into his kisses.

"Human clothing is so... unintuitive." He tangled with my fly for a few seconds.

"Well, it has to fit over our _supportive_ waists."

He gave me a look. "Enough talking."

"Oh! Is it time for a _cross-species liaison_?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I'd say so." He trailed his kisses down my neck. They were rough and hungry and they made something churn below my stomach in a way I hadn't felt since before the Catalyst.

"Are you sure?" I murmured, beginning to lose myself in what he was doing but still unable to stop myself from teasing him. "I can wait, if you're in the middle of some _calibra_-"

He shushed me by clamping his hand over my mouth. "Don't you dare say it." He was using his best Archangel-is-not-to-be-trifled-with voice. He narrowed his eyes at me, seeing the mischief in my own. "Don't."

He lowered his hand. I waited a moment - just long enough for him to let his guard down - before I whispered,in the sultriest voice I could summon, _"Calibrations."_

He groaned exasperatedly and I burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"You're going to pay for that one, Shepard," he said.

"Promise?" I asked, tweaking his nose.

That did it. He pulled me away from the main gun and threw me onto his bunk.

The landing knocked some of the wind from my lungs, and the Turian landing on top of me knocked the rest of the air out of my body. I spluttered and coughed.

"Wait-" I said, trying to catch my breath. I was still cackling - I loved winding Garrus up, it was just so damned _fun_ - and it was making it hard to breathe.

He pinned my arms above my head, just like he'd done in our wrestling match. "I warned you, Shepard," he said, the tones of his voice a combination of menace and mirth. "You poked the varren, and now-"

"It's time for the varren to poke me?" I squeaked, my voice straining beneath the weight of both his body and my sniggering.

He smacked a hand across his face and rolled off of me, laughing just as hard as I was.

"I'm sorry," I said, still cracking up, "I killed the mood, didn't I?"

He shook his head and sighed. "Yes, but you killing things is probably just a force of habit, by now."

"That argument could definitely be made." I took a few deep breaths, trying to quell the last of my giggling.

"After all that solid flirting I did, too."

"It really was good flirting."

"Such a shame it's wasted, now."

I casted a sly look at him sidelong. "Doesn't have to be."

"We both just compared me to a varren, Shepard, I'm not feeling particularly-"

I quickly moved to straddle him and settled my hips back against his.

"You sure about that?" I asked.

He said nothing, but reached up and pulled me towards him into a kiss.

"That's what I thought." I grinned.

Garrus placed his hands on my thighs and pulled at my trousers again. I moved my legs to wriggle out of them and undid the fly with one hand, but he stopped me with a small growl when I went to pull them down over my hips.

He leaned forward, rolling me off of him, and got on his knees on the mattress. With both hands, he proceeded to tug and yank my pants down. I might have laughed at the effort it took, if it hadn't been for the fact that he was also working his way down my chest with a combination of kissing and nibbling that had my mind focused on something other than how long it was taking him to undress me.

Eventually, he managed to get my pants off, with only a little bit of help on my part. I tossed them across the room and quickly returned the favor, sliding Garrus's trousers down his legs and chucking them across the Battery without a second glance.

It didn't matter where they'd landed. He wouldn't be needing them for a while.

He watched as I reached behind my back with one hand - I'd have used both, but my shoulder was still acting up - and undid my sports bra. I slowly slid it off, one shoulder at a time, and smiled when I saw the mesmerized look on his face. I slipped my underwear down my legs and kicked them off and there we were.

Naked.

The rush hit us like a wave. We crashed into each other in a jumble of limbs. He held me tightly against him and I held him tightly against me and we kissed. I delighted in the feel of him; Turian plates weren't hard or cold at all, but were instead pliable and warm and alive.

He reached a talon downwards and ran it along my inner thigh.

I moaned and dug my fingers beneath his fringe, eliciting the sweet, primitive growl that my ears craved.

His hand found me, one thick finger pressing against me. He stroked forward, running his talon up over that most sensitive part of me.

My breath hitched in my throat. "Garrus."

He froze.

"Don't stop," I murmured.

He nuzzled against my neck and stroked against me again and again, getting more and more confident as he worked me into a frenzy. My hands clutched at his chest and I mewed and gasped with the sensations he was stirring up.

He whispered hoarsely in my ear, "Spirits, Adrienne, I'm aching for you."

Wordlessly, I spread my legs wider and pulled him on top of me. I could feel him between my thighs and I arched myself up towards him and suddenly he wasn't stroking me anymore and he was slowly, delicately pushing himself into me.

I was in ecstasy.

He grabbed my hands and pinned them over my head gently, this time. We kissed and he thrusted against me, still keeping a slow pace. I opened my eyes to find him watching me intently. I could tell he was struggling to reign himself in, for my sake, out of a misguided attempt to preserve my comfort.

"Garrus," I gasped as he buried himself in me again. "Take me."

Something sparked in his eyes. He growled that guttural groan and bit at my neck. My body arched into him. He let go of his boundaries, increasing his pace and slamming into me with all of the desperation and the deep, insatiable need we'd both built up over the last four months.

I tried to move my hands, but he dug his talons in and held them in place.

I could feel the pressure building in my gut, that familiar tingle that started so subtly and worked its way into a storm as Garrus rammed into me over and over. I neared the peak, I could taste the release, and Garrus kept going, taking what he needed from my body.

I moaned his name, finally giving in. My body shuddered around him as an orgasm ripped through me and left me shaking. Garrus's hands both came to my hips as he pulled me against him, thrusting even harder. My freed arms laid uslessly at my sides, as I rode out the crest of the wave that crashed through my nerves and muscles.

It didn't take long before Garrus followed me over the brink. He shivered and groaned and collapsed on top of me, cradling me against his chest as he spilled himself inside me.

We whiled away the afternoon like that, rediscovering every part of each other. Parts of it were rough and parts of it were tender and, in the end, it was everything we needed it to be.

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you thought - too smutty? Not smutty enough? Just enough smut?_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Okay, so last night I decided that I DID want to make the last chapter a smutty lemon-fest, so that's exactly what I did. If you want to see the changes I made, head on back to chapter 12 and enjoy the ride!_

_Thank you guys for your feedback! The encouragement definitely helped make that decision for me!_

* * *

_30 October 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

The sizable fist of James Vega pounded against the door.

"Commander, Hackett's on Comm for you," his muffled voice said.

I groggily sat up and cleared my throat. "Give me a minute," I answered. Garrus's arm was slung heavily over my lap and he groaned when I moved.

"Take as many as you need, Lola."

"Can't you just tell him to leave a message?" Garrus grumbled and rolled to lay face-down on the bed.

"I'm sure it's important, or he wouldn't have called," I said, pulling my pants up over my knees. I stood and eased them up over my hips, legs shaking a little. I checked the time on my omnitool - only 6:37 PM. Hackett was probably still at the office, and was most likely following up on the message I'd sent him.

I snatched what remained of my shirt from the floor and held it up in front of me. Garrus had done a number on it, shredding it from collar to hem in a nice, ragged slice. No, that wasn't going to work.

I shrugged into my sports bra and ran my fingers through the brambly mess on my head. A few quick swipes helped, somewhat, and I was able to wrangle my hair into my usual taut bun.

Garrus mumbled something into his pillow.

"Mmm?" I asked wordlessly.

He turned his head so I could hear him. "Why are your legs shaking?"

"Remember that thing we did in round four?"

"Ah. The thing with my old C-Sec cuffs?"

"Yeah, that," I said, grinning. "Do you have a shirt I could borrow? Mine seems to have fallen prey to a Turian madman."

"I doubt any of my clothes would fit properly," he said, slowly shifting into a seated position on his bed. "But your old clothes are in the locker, over there."

I raised my brows at him.

"They had to go somewhere when Vega moved into your cabin."

"And you're just now telling me that I have more than one pair of bloodstained clothes to my name because...?"

"Because... I forgot they were there, honestly. Sorry, Shepard," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay." I walked over to the locker and opened it. "At least this means I won't have to talk to my boss in my skivvies." Sure enough, there were all of my old fatigues. Even a spare set of my armor was tucked into the back of the locker. I ran my hands over it, delighting in the familiar feeling of the carbon-fiber weave beneath my fingertips. "Thanks for keeping all this junk around," I said quietly.

"Well, it did have some sentimental value."

I spotted something in the corner of the locker and snorted. I pulled my skimpy, formal-wear dress out and held it up.

"Sentimental value, huh?" I smirked.

"I- ah-" He chuckled bashfully. "I told you your best had my mandible on the floor, Shepard."

"Nice recovery, Vakarian."

I put my dress back and slipped my old uniform shirt over my head. I switched out my fatigue pants for my matching uniform trousers before I closed the locker. I flexed my healing shoulder a little. Still stiff.

"Wait," Garrus said, lurching to his feet and crossing the room. "One more thing." He opened the locker and dug something out from beneath the rest of my clothes. Whatever it was jangled a little as he moved it. He placed it into my hand, closed the locker again, and looked away. He busied himself retrieving his own clothes from where we'd scattered them earlier in the day, while I looked down at my own dog tags. I ran my thumb over the familiar N7 engraving. They looked cleaner than before.

"How'd you get these?" I asked, staring at them. I knew I'd had my tags around my neck, when I was in the Citadel, and there was no way Garrus could have gotten ahold of them with the relays being down.

"I had them made back on Palaven. Figured you'd need some proper identification when you got back on the job. Hackett said your old tags were mangled all to hell."

Garrus walked over to me again and took the dog tags. Gingerly, he laid them against my chest, brought the chain around my neck, and fastened the clasp.

"Now," he said, "go talk to the Admiral before he gets any older."

"I'll tell him you said that," I joked.

"Please don't. The shock might actually kill him."

* * *

James and I stood at-attention.

"Commander Shepard, Commander Vega," Hackett said. "Good to see you both."

"It's good to see you, too, Sir," I said.

"First thing's first. Vega, what's the situation on Palaven?"

"Improving, Sir," Vega said. "We've been able to help out in several major cities. Merc activities are decreasing every day."

"Good. Status report on the Normandy?"

"All's well, Sir."

"Excellent."

I maintained a composed exterior, but shifted uncomfortably in my head. I'd never been second-fiddle to someone else during a conversation with Hackett, especially when the Normandy was concerned. I didn't like it. At all.

"Shepard," Hackett turned his attention to me, "in light of recent events, the Alliance has seen fit to reinstate you to active duty, as has the Council."

The corner of my mouth twitched with the hint of an uncontainable smile and I stood a little taller.

"However," Hackett continued, "Vega will retain command of the Normandy, for the time being."

I clenched my jaw. "Yes, Sir."

"Admiral," James cut in, "permission to speak freely?"

"Granted, as always."

"This is Shepard's ship, Sir. With her back, it doesn't feel right." Vega glanced at me and I looked back, dumbfounded. I'd never known Vega to be humble about his accomplishments, and the fact that he'd be willing to step away from a ship like the Normandy made me rethink my perception of the lovable meathead.

"Understood, Vega. But I stand by my decision. We don't yet know how the past few months have affected you, Commander Shepard, and I don't think it would be wise to put this kind of pressure on you."

"Respectfully, Sir, Lo- Shepard can handle it." James clasped his hands behind his back.

"Shepard was kidnapped by Cerberus within 24 hours of being released from the hospital," Hackett said with an edge to his voice. "You are the commander of the Normandy, Vega. End of discussion."

I swallowed some of the anger that had suddenly splashed into my mouth like bile, but most of it was still simmering in my gut.

"Understood, Sir," James said.

"Good. Now, Shepard, about this report of yours. We've released an APB on Taust, but haven't caught wind of him, yet. The Cerberus facility was cleared out, by the time Alliance personnel were on site. Tell me more about what Taust said to you. We need to know what you know."

Something had changed. This wasn't the same Hackett from the hospital. I didn't know what I could have done to alter the way we interacted so radically, but this definitely wasn't the same Hackett who'd sat next to my cot a few days back.

"Cerberus is changing its game, Sir," I said. "They're making a move, and a bold one. They plan to attack systems one-by-one, as the relays open up. Taust is calling for a new Alliance and a new Council, and he is a threat to both."

"Do you know when and where, exactly, he plans to attack?"

"No, Sir, but I think it would be safe to assume he plans on striking soon, with the relays beginning to operate."

"Very good. Keep your comm channels open. We're sending you to Thessia to help with the reconstruction there. The Asari opened their relay a few hours ago and they've reported trouble with mercs for the past few weeks. We need you to clear them out of the major cities."

"Sir?" I frowned. "What about Taust? We need to find him, before-"

"We're sending you to Thessia. The Normandy is needed, there."

"But, Sir-" I began again.

"Enough, Shepard," Hackett cut me off. He was angry, now. "In the wake of that vidcast, we need you out of the limelight. The entire galaxy just watched you murder someone on a live feed. You are to stay away from high-profile assignments until further notice. Keep your nose down, Shepard. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Hackett out."

The Comm channel closed and Hackett's hologram disappeared.

I turned on my heel and marched out of the room, hands curled into fists. James followed me at a trot.

"Where are you going?"

"Wherever the fuck Taust has hidden his elitist, genocidal ass," I snapped.

James grinned. "Oh, good. I thought you might be giving up or something."

I paused. "You mean you aren't going to try to stop me?"

James blinked. "Of course not. I'm not an idiot."

Yep. Definitely needed to re-evaluate my perception of Vega.

"Someone needs to stop Taust before he can do any real damage, and we're the best crew for the job," he said. "Besides, you'll always be the Commander of the Normandy, as far as I'm concerned- as long as I get to keep that cushy bed, upstairs."

"Well, we have to maintain appearances for the Alliance, don't we?" I said, smirking. Letting James keep my old quarters was the least I could do, really. "By the way, who won your wrestling match, earlier?"

He rolled his eyes. "We called it a tie after we wore each other out. Who won your wrestling match?" he asked with more than a hint of suggestiveness in his voice.

I snorted and shot him a look. "Same answer."

"Fair enough."

"Now," I said, "let's go fuck up some Cerberus jackasses."

"Just like old times. I'm right behind you, Lola."

* * *

_A/N: As always, reviews are greatly appreciated! Hope you're having a good day, galaxy. xx_


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Sorry for the accidental re-posting of chapter 13 this morning! I wasn't using my brain when I copy+pasted today's chapter into the Doc Manager, this morning. Thanks to Salvanael and Thundabuns for calling my attention to it - otherwise I wouldn't have noticed! _

_Also, I made some minor changes to chapter 13 - namely, instead of ordering the crew to go to Palaven, Hackett orders them to go to Thessia to help with reconstruction after the war. _

_Without further ado, here's the REAL chapter 14. _

* * *

_30 October 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Joker," I barked as I strode onto the bridge.

The pilot jumped and moved his hands quickly over his interface, exiting out of a few screens.

"Watching porn on the job, again?" I asked, leaning against the back of his chair.

He inhaled like he was about to tell me off, but then stopped, as if he'd thought better of it. "You know me, Commander."

I gave him a look. He was acting as fidgety as he had the handful of times I'd caught him watching nude vids, but something told me that it wasn't what he'd been up to, this time.

"Yeah," I said, drawing out the word awkwardly and changing the subject. "I need you to set a course for the Apien Crest. Trebia System."

"We going back to Palaven?"

"Yep."

"Hackett's orders?"

"Nope."

"So... what, then? Sightseeing?"

"Only if by 'sightseeing' you mean me looking through my sights at the new bastard in charge of Cerberus."

If Taust had been serious about his plan - and I had no doubt that he was - he'd likely strike in the Apien Crest, first. He'd had days to plan an attack there, and I doubted he would act in the Athena Nebula before he'd had time to formulate an approach.

"Apien Crest, Trebia System," I repeated.

"Hackett put you back in charge?"

"Not exactly," I said.

"Not exactly? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Hackett made a mistake," James said, walking up behind us. "Shepard's in command, but as far as the Alliance is concerned, I'm still your CO."

"Oh, good. That's not confusing at all."

"Do we have our heading?" I asked, ignoring his quip.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Have everyone meet us in the conference room, before you punch it. As soon as possible." I turned to leave without waiting for a response, James in tow.

"Shepard," Joker called after us, "welcome back."

I smiled to myself and kept walking.

* * *

"So we're going after Taust, regulations and orders be damned?" Garrus asked. "I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, Shepard."

They were all seated around the conference table. I stood at the head of the table, leaning against it with my hands. Seeing all of my crew circled around me gave me a sense of confidence I hadn't even realized I'd been missing. I continued with my speech.

"If any of you have a problem with this, you are welcome leave. I will, of course, respect your decision not to turn on the Council or the Alliance. But speak now or forever hold your peace, because once we start down this road, I won't tolerate any looking back," I said in my Commander voice, which hadn't seen much use since the Catalyst. It felt good to be giving orders again, like everything was getting back to normal.

Even if "normal" for us meant "breaking laws left and right to chase down a psychopath with the intention of crushing him beneath the hammer of justice, before he succeeds in murdering millions of innocent people."

Everyone was silent for a moment, glancing around the room at one another. Liara cleared her throat and leaned forward in her chair. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that we aren't here because of the Alliance or the Council, Shepard."

"Without you, none of us would be here, in more ways than one," Tali agreed.

"I fear I cannot leave," Javik said. "I have grown so used to you all. Being around other primitives would make me crazy. Too much incompetence."

"So it's settled." James leaned on his elbows and grinned. "Lola's going to lead us out of the furnace and into the fire. Again."

I shrugged. "At least we've had plenty of practice at this sort of thing."

"What's our first move?" Garrus asked.

"We're going back to the Apien Crest. Taust plans on attacking each system as the relays open up, so that is most likely his first target. We don't know when or where he plans to strike, but we'll figure it out as we go."

"I'll check with my informants and see if they've heard anything. I doubt I'll be able to come up with much - Cerberus is a bit of a blind spot - but I'm sure I can find something," Liara said.

"Good." I straightened.

Everyone got to their feet, sensing that the meeting was over and clearly as anxious as I was to get back into action.

We were interrupted by Joker's voice over the intercom.

"Commander, you've got an incoming vid call on the bridge."

"If it's Hackett, don't put him through," I said sharply.

"Trust me, it's not. I wish it was someone that warm and cuddly."

* * *

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me," Jack groaned. "Get off the goddamned call, Joker."

Jack looked about the same as she had the last time I'd seen her: hair long and tied back, tattooed from head to toe, scantily clad, permanently sneering.

Joker held his hands up defensively. "Hey, you call my ship, you're gonna have to talk to me. Anyways, there's someone else here to distract you from my presence." He jerked a thumb in my direction.

I leaned over his shoulder and into the view of the camera.

"Hey, Jack."

"Shepard. You been starting shit without me? I heard you were out of the hospital. Also heard you were killing some merc fuckers on a live feed."

"You know me. Can't stay out of trouble for too long."  
"You must be contagious, then."

I frowned. "What's going on on your end?"

"Same shit, different day. Cerberus assholes hassling my kids again. Been trying to contact them for weeks, but I put a stop that bullshit, of course."

"Then why the call?"

She sighed. "Last night, Cerberus took one of them. Stevens. He was one of the exceptional ones. Went out with some of the others and they were ambushed. Most of them got away, but..."

"But not Stevens." I chewed on my lip.

"Not Stevens."

"So you want us to find him for you?"

"I'd go after him, myself, but I've got the others to look after and I can't afford a suicide mission. I need some backup."

The corner of my mouth twitched with the hint of a smile. A year back, I'd have never pegged Jack for the maternal type.

"Aww, losing your touch?" Joker cooed.

I swatted at his head with the back of my hand and he yelped.

Jack ignored him, mercifully. "I tried reaching out to the Alliance, but they claimed to have bigger fish to fry," she continued, crossing her tattooed arms. "Ungrateful fuckers. Stevens was on the ground at the end, and he took out more Reaper troops than I could fucking count. You'd think they'd be able to spare a few stiffs to track the kid down.

"Anyways, you lucky bastards are my only hope. Besides," she said, "I have some information that might interest you."

"Oh?" I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I figured you all were going to be rushing off to deal with these new Cerberus assholes, and I have reason to believe that the same ones that are taking my kids are involved with some higher-ups in the organization. Wouldn't need biotic geniuses for any old scheme, right?

"I've got a way to hack past their encryptions. Has to be delivered directly to their hardware, so I haven't had the opportunity to use it. You get my kid back, you get more information about Cerberus than you've got right now."

"Uh huh," I said, "and just how did you come across this magical key that opens all of Cerberus's doors?"

"I have my ways." She smirked her traditional Jack smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "We're working with a time limit, Jack. We don't know when Cerberus is going to strike and we need to have our fingers already on the trigger when they do." I crossed my arms. "If I'm taking the time to go after this kid, I need to know everything you know."

"Fine, Shepard. Always such a tight-ass," she muttered under her breath. "I have a contact in the organization. Been feeding me information. He couldn't tell me much about what happened to Stevens, but he's been able to help in other ways."

"Other ways including the decryption key." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Yes."

"Damn, Jack. I'd have thought you'd know better than to trust some Cerberus goon."

She scoffed at me. "I do know better. Put his balls through the ringer, making sure he was legit. We can trust him, I swear."

Joker visibly shuddered at her imagery.

"So you want me to bring my crew into some unknown location to save one kid, and try to hack Cerberus with a key that is, more than likely, some kind of trap?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes." She set her jaw. "And it's not a fucking trap."

"Right." I thought for a moment.

We really could use as much information about Cerberus as we could get. We were flying blind, as it was. My suggestion of going to Palaven had been a shot in the dark, at best. Even if the hacking didn't work, we'd be able to search whatever facility they had the kid holed up in and maybe, with a little luck, we could find some information worth using.

"Alright. Where are you?" I asked.

"London."

"Great." A knot twisted in my stomach.

"Doesn't look as fucked up as it did a few months back, Shepard. Don't worry."

I swallowed and pushed away the mental images that had sprung into my head. "We'll be there within the next few hours. Sit tight."

"Thanks, Shepard," Jack said. The relief in her voice made me smile a little.

"Thank me when we get Stevens back," I said. "See you soon, Jack."

"Yay," Joker grumbled and ended the vid call.

"Tell everyone we're taking a short detour. And tell Garrus and Liara to meet me in the airlock. And Joker," I said, gripping his shoulder, "let's talk later about whatever it was you were doing, because we both know that wasn't your porn-watching face."

"I- That's-" he sighed. "Aye aye, Commander."

"Keep the engine running. We won't be long."

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from you all. _


	15. Chapter 15

_31 October 2186, Over the Atlantic, Earth_

Solana had pitched somewhat of a fit when Garrus and I had boarded the shuttle without her. He'd had to pull the Big Brother card on her, telling her that he'd inform their father that she'd turned mercenary if she didn't stay behind without a fuss. Even though it worked, I suspected he would pay for the minor blackmailing later on.

Midnight came and went. I was passed out on the shuttle for most of the four hour ride into London from the Normandy's position. The the weight of the day's events had hit me like a train and knocked me straight to an unpleasant-flashback-filled dreamland.

I jerked awake, the imprint of my safety harness set into the side of my face, red impressions crisscrossing over my scars. Images of the Catalyst faded into the back of my mind and I blinked a few times, clearing my vision.

The shuttle was just as I remembered it. Just like it had looked on the last descent into London. I reminded myself that this wasn't the same shuttle, that the other shuttle was probably in pieces in a junkyard in England, and that this shuttle was the Normandy's backup, but none of that helped crack the sense of eeriness that settled against my spine.

I unbuckled myself and stood stiffly. Most of the pain from my previous injuries had gone, but my shoulder was still sassing me at every opportunity. It felt good to be back in my armor, though. Chakwas always chastised me for behaving like I was invincible when I was wearing it, and she had a point - inside of my N7 suit, I felt like I was a damned immortal. I flexed my fingers in my gauntlets and smiled a little.

Garrus was asleep in the aft row of seats, sprawled awkwardly across three chairs and buckled in using some creative knot work.

I walked over to the cockpit, half-expecting Cortez to be there, where he belonged, and instead finding Liara in the pilot's seat. I sat down in the co-pilot's chair and kicked my feet up on the control panel, careful not to hit any switches as I did so.

"How're we looking?" I asked quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping Turian in the back.

"Good. We're about ten minutes away from Jack's coordinates."

I watched the Atlantic pass below us for a few comfortable moments.

"What were you dreaming about?" Liara asked.

I glanced at her. "Was I talking in my sleep or something?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No. I'm just curious."

I sighed. "The Catalyst."

"Oh. I assumed as much. A traumatic event of that magnitude would leave quite an impression on the subconscious."

"Yeah."

A few more seconds passed in silence. The water beneath us crashed against white cliffs and then we were flying over land. It seemed like Jack was right. Although it had clearly been through some hard times, the ground below us looked nothing like the crushed, battered countryside I'd seen last time. I silently hoped that the city had seen the same improvement.

"We heard about the decision you had to make, up there."

I blanched. I hadn't talked in-depth with any of the crew - except for Garrus - about exactly what I'd been through. "Where did you hear that?"

"Hackett sent us your debriefing dossier after he met with you in the hospital. James insisted."

I frowned. I would have told Liara all about it, anyways, but I felt uncomfortable knowing that she'd gotten information about that day from an outside source.

Another thought occurred to me and I started.

"Does Joker know?"

"Yes. And he understands."

Shit. I massaged my forehead.

"For the record," she said, "I think you made the best decision you could. We saw what the Reapers were capable of, on Earth and on Thessia, and we needed to be sure there was no chance of them ever returning."

I looked at her. "So you don't think the costs were too high?"

I must have been rubbing off on her more than I realized.

"You did what you could, Shepard, and the galaxy is better off for it," Liara said. "Even with the blow to synthetics, life is going to return to normal. After all, the beauty of synthetics is that they are created by organics. We made them before, and we can make them again."

"That's an interesting take on them."

She flicked a few switches and the shuttle slowed to merge with the other traffic approaching London. "Why? What is your take on them?"

"They're driven. Searching for the big answers. They're not comfortable not knowing, and it pushes them to grow. Synthetics chase the feeling of being alive," I said. "Plus, they're damn good shots."

Liara laughed. "And here I thought you might be getting poetic on me."

I looked down at my lap. "I regret it, sometimes," I said softly. "Because of EDI, and the Geth. And I guess I'll never know for sure whether or not I made the right call, but... I do regret it, when I think about them."

"Don't," Liara said simply. "We'll find a way to bring them back, Shepard."

I snorted. "Yeah, sure. We'll just slot that in after 'save biotic boy genius from radical kidnappers' and before 'save galaxy from megalomaniac with his own private, racist army' on the calendar: 'resurrect synthetic life forms and right Shepard's wrongs.'"

She chuckled. "You know what I mean."

"I do," I said. "I'm just being a smartass."

"As usual."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. I grinned and flicked her upper arm with a finger, clicking it against her armor.

"Don't make me pull this shuttle over, Commander," she warned.

"Why're we pulling over?" Garrus asked, stumbling towards the cockpit still half-asleep. "Technical difficulties?"

"Shepard is mouthing off to the pilot," Liara said.

Garrus gasped melodramatically. "Mouthing off? Shepard? Never!"

I turned in my chair and shot him a look.

He shrugged and pulled a face in return.

"You two should get buckled in, we're almost there," Liara said, leaning forward and hitting a few switches.

I stood, gently rested a hand on Liara's shoulder, and walked back to the passenger bay. Garrus stood aside to let me ahead of him and pressed his gloved hand against my lower back as I passed.

We took seats beside each other. Garrus interlaced his fingers with mine.

"I've got your six," he said quietly. "Keep aware and stay safe, alright?"

"You, too, Vakarian."

He snorted. "I'm always safe."

"Oh, yeah? I've got one word for you: Ome-"

"Hey, Omega was a farce. I was just waiting for you to show up, is all."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You thought I was dead, and then you got yourself shot in the face."

"I- Well-" He broke off and chuckled. "Fair enough."

I sighed and leaned backwards in my chair, rolling my shoulder.

He eyed me carefully. "How's the bullet hole treating you?"

"As well as could be expected. I'm fine, Garrus, just a little stiff." I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"Brace for landing," Liara said from the front of the shuttle.

"Ready?" I grinned.

"Always," he said.

Liara landed the shuttle with the same grace she possessed in everything else she did. We all double-checked our armor and weapons in pleasant silence, and then I opened the door.

"Fuck, Shepard," Jack said, swaggering over to meet us as we disembarked. "You look like something ate you up and shat you out."

"Good to see you, too, Jack." I grinned and pulled her into a rough, one-armed hug. She returned it just as roughly and enthusiastically. Even after being in her presence for only a few moments, I could feel my propensity for swearing growing exponentially. If my knack for getting into trouble was contagious, her knack for cursing was, too.

"Thanks for making it down here so quick," she said, breaking free of the embrace. "Don't know how much time Stevens has."

"What's our move?" I asked.

"Kick down their door, guns blazing."

"So, the same plan we always have, then," Garrus said behind me.

"If it ain't broke, don't fuckin' fix it." Jack shrugged and led us off of the landing pad.

* * *

The Cerberus compound was only a few blocks from Jack's "school for gifted biotic youths" (as Liara called it - Jack preferred "ass-kicking band of biotic shitheads"). Jack's supposedly-trustworthy Cerberus contact had given her the address.

We exited Jack's transport - a sporty, expensive-looking car - around the back of a warehouse on the outskirts of London. The sun was peeking over the horizon, but most of its light was blocked by the city's enormous buildings.

"So, this contact of yours," I began.

"Drop it, Shepard." Jack glared at me.

I ignored her. "They said they couldn't tell you anything about what Cerberus might want with your kids, but they just happened to know exactly where the bastards are holding Stevens?"

"You know exactly where you can shove that skepticism," she said. "I told you, you can trust him."

"Wait," I said. Everyone stopped moving at my word, even though I hadn't meant it as an actual order.

I eyed Jack carefully. "Do you have a thing for your contact, Jack?"

To my shock, Jack - biotic goddess, badass motherfucker, and probably the most antisocial human I had ever met - actually blushed.

"Fuck me," I said, exasperatedly. "You do, don't you? Shit."

"I said drop it, Shepard," she hissed at me.

"Damn it, Jack, you know better than this!" I snapped. "For shit's sake, it's fucking Cerberus! You of all people shouldn't trust Cer-"

"Exactly! Me of all people _shouldn't _trust Cerberus. And I fucking don't. So when I say my contact is different, and that he's trustworthy, you'd better believe he's fucking trustworthy."

I sighed frustratedly. "If this turns out to be a trap, I'm going to shove my boot down your contact's throat."

"If this turns out to be a trap, I'll kill him myself before you even find out his name," she said as we reached a door into the building.

"Aww. I missed you, Jack," Garrus said, breaking through the tension with all of the subtlety of a tank.

"Missed you, too, birdbrain."

Jack closed her eyes, activated a bright blue biotic field around her body, and blasted the door off its hinges.

"Ladies first," she said, showing Liara inside.

Garrus and I followed, with Jack bringing up the rear.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the lack of posting, yesterday! The holiday madness is starting at work and I had a pretty hectic day. Get ready for some more Shep-on-Cerberus action!_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Apologies for the lack of posting, again! This weekend was a wild ride and I just didn't find the time to sit down and edit/write as much as usual. I think I'm going to switch over to an every-other-day posting schedule, because I'm a little worried about burning myself out. Anyhow, here we go!_

* * *

_31 October 2186, London, Earth_

"What the fuck?" Jack breathed.

We were all crouched in a maintenance duct, peering through the grating below our feet at, well, something. The room below us held an array of different machines, each one more complicated and expensive-looking than the last.

What made the scene such a strange one, though, was the fact that the room itself had a decidedly spa-like atmosphere. The machines were camouflaged by hardwood flooring and houseplants and walls of water falling into neatly-arranged piled of river rocks.

"I'm not certain," Liara said, "but I think that's a gene sequencer, in the southeast corner. And over there, by the bamboo shoots, maybe a stasis pod? A lot of it looks like standard medical equipment."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. The rest of us were able to crawl through the small space fairly easily, but Turian anatomy was not designed for it. "Why would they go through the trouble of decorating this place like that? And what could they want with a gene sequencer?"

"Nothing good," I answered. "Let's keep going."

"Where, exactly, are we headed?" Garrus grunted, wincing as his leg spur dug into the back of his thigh.

"Should be a security office a few meters down this shaft and to the right," Jack said. "Perfect place to give this a spin." She yanked off a chain from around her neck and tossed it to me as we all rounded a corner in the duct.

"Supposed to work with an omnitool," she explained. "Figured one or two of you can handle hacking their systems while the others go get Stevens. In and out in a blink of Liara's blue-as-hell eyes."

"Any idea where they're holding Stevens?" I asked.

"No, not yet. That will take some exploring."

"Fantastic."

Jack stopped, halting our progress just before another grate in the bottom of the passageway.

"You fuckers ready for some action?"

"Are we ever not?" Liara countered.

Jack kicked the grating out of the duct and then jumped through the opening. To nobody's surprise, she landed like a cat. Liara followed her, gently lowering herself from the opening. I swung my legs over the edge and thudded into the concrete floor with both feet. I inhaled sharply with the impact, as my body reminded me that it had been near death not much more than a week ago.

"Spirits!" Garrus swore and, unceremoniously, clanged against the ground behind me. I turned and helped him up, grinning.

"Such grace," I deadpanned in an airy voice, "such elegance, such-"

He elbowed me in my armor and shot me a look. I chuckled.

We all drew our weapons and examined our surroundings. Not a single Cerberus uniform in sight. The hallway was much more clinical than the odd room we'd passed over, but the emptiness of the space still made me uneasy.

"Alright. Garrus, Liara, take the encryption key to the security office and get as much as you can off of their network," I ordered, keeping my voice down and handing the key to Liara. "Jack and I will grab the kid."

"Shepard-" Garrus began.

"Hey," I interrupted, tapping my fingers against my visor, "I'll only be a few rooms away. You'll know what I know, every step of the way."

He sighed. "I don't like this."

"I know you don't," I said. "But I need a tech specialist in that security office. We'll keep each other informed of our locations and figure out a rendezvous as we go along."

Liara gently pushed Garrus forward with a hand on his back.

"Let's go," she said softly.

"Down that hall and to the right. Should be clearly marked," Jack reiterated.

"Keep your heads down," I added.

"Watch your six," Garrus said.

We paired off and walked in opposite directions.

* * *

Jack and I had searched a half-dozen empty rooms when Garrus radioed in.

"We're in the security office, Shepard. Minimal resistance."

"Just a half-awake guard I was able to subdue," Liara added.

"Good," I replied. "No sign of the kid, yet. Or anyone, really. Start decrypting and send as much information as you can back to E- to the Normandy."

"Already on it," Garrus said. "Keep sharp, Shepard. Something isn't right."

The comm channel clicked off.

"It's Cerberus," Jack said bitterly, "nothing is ever right with Cerberus."

"Yeah, just ask your contact," I muttered under my breath.

Jack glared at me and walked a little faster down the hall ahead of me. She stepped into another doorway, peered inside, and then ducked back into the hall.

"Clear," she said. "All this expensive shit, you'd think there'd be more goons around to use it."

"You sound disappointed." I aimed my pistol around a corner and checked another room, to no avail.

She smirked. "You know me. Always in the mood for a brawl."

We covered a few more yards in the hallway.

"What the hell could they want with my kids?" Her voice was quiet, as though the thought had barely squeaked out of her mind.

"From the looks of this place, it doesn't seem like they want to torture them for information," I said.

"What a relief," Jack said dryly, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"They're probably trying to recruit them."

"By abducting them?"

I shrugged. "They tried it on me. What's to stop them from trying it on your biotic prodigies?"

Before she could reply, we heard voices carrying down the hall.

I caught her eye and jerked my head in the direction of one of the vacant labs behind us. Silently, we crept back into the dark, empty room.

The voices drew closer.

They were two adult males. Human, of course. And they seemed to be discussing weekend plans.

I nodded to Jack and cloaked before stepping out into the hall.

Two Cerberus assault troopers were meandering towards me in full uniform. I slipped past them, invisible, and followed them at a distance of about half a foot.

"You can't just take her to a barbecue joint, man," one of them was saying. "These Asari chicks need a little more finesse. You gotta woo her, man."

They were a few paces away from the lab.

"If you're sure," the other said. "I mean, I don't want to spend all that money on a fancy restaurant and not get laid at the end of the night."

They were in front of the open doorway.

I gripped the troopers by their shoulders. They froze, bewildered by the ghost that suddenly had them in its grasp.

"You Cerberus assholes are all the same, aren't you?" I said, breathing down their necks and sliding their rifles out of their holsters. I shoved the two men through the doorway and Jack shut it behind us.

I deactivated my cloak.

"Oh, no," one of them said. "It's Shepard."

"Good eye for detail." I tossed their rifles aside and leveled my Carnifex at their chests.

"Looks like you two are in a world of shit," Jack said, sauntering over and crossing her arms.

"Unless, of course, you want to tell us where you've got the kid," I continued, nonchalantly gesturing with my weapon. Every slight move of my wrist elicited winces from the two idiots.

"The kid?" the other guard piped up, still struggling to comprehend what was happening. "I don't know anything about a kid."

Jack took a step towards him, gingerly placed her hands on either side of his face, and breathed, "Wrong answer."

She snapped his neck and he was dead before he hit the ground.

The remaining trooper shrieked like a frightened toddler. It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting into laughter.

"Tell us where you're keeping the biotic!" I shouted at him.

"D-down the h-hall! Not much further! J-just six- no, seven more doors down on the left!"

"Thanks for the directions," I said. I pulled my trigger and dropped him.

Jack stepped over his twitching body and I followed her out into the hall.

"I'd forgotten how well we work together," she said.

I smiled. "Likewise."

"We're wrapping things up here, Shepard," Garrus said in our ears. "You're going to want to take a look at what we found when we're back on the Normandy, it's... It's worse than we thought."

"Can't wait to see it," I said quietly. "We're moving in on Stevens's location. I'll keep you updated. You two, find us a way out."

"Yes, Sir," Liara said. The comm channel went silent again.

Jack and I trotted down the hall, stopping at the seventh room on the left. I pounded a fist against the door controls.

Jack was inside in a flash, sending a biotic wave at someone or something I hadn't even had the chance to focus on.

By the time I made it inside, Carnifex at the ready, Jack had the body of a scientist in her hands and there was a terrified teenager standing in the middle of the room. It looked like the other spaces we'd seen: medical equipment in a sterile-yet-soothing, luxe setting.

I waited just inside the doorway. All of our noise was bound to have attracted some attention, by now. Even a poorly-staffed Cerberus facility would have some sort of response to gunfire and hacking attempts.

"We've got the kid," I said over the comm channel.

"Good," Garrus's voice replied. "Go back to the hallway where we split up and follow it in the opposite direction. We found an exit not too far from the car that looks fairly clear, for now."

"Will do," I said, turning off the mic.

Jack threw the scientist's body against the floor and straightened.

"Woah, woah, woah!" the kid shouted. "What are you doing here, Jack?"

"Baking you a fucking cake. What's it look like, Stevens? I'm saving your ass!"

"Let's get moving!" I said, still aiming at the door to pick off any reinforcements.

"I-I don't need you to save me!" Stevens said. "I like it here!"

Jack narrowed her eyes. "What did you just say?" she growled.

"I _like_ it here, they treat me _well_, they _respect_ me, and call me crazy but I think their cause is actually a good one."

Jack was visibly fuming. Sparks of blue danced over her shoulders.

"We are going to get you home and we are going to talk about this later," she said dangerously.

"N-no! I'm staying!" Stevens scrambled across the room and crouched behind a stasis pod.

A trooper appeared in the doorway and I caught him in the neck with a pistol round. Stevens yelped behind me.

"I'm not going with you! Leave me alone!" he shouted.

I gunned down another trooper in the doorway. "Jack! We need to leave!"

"Not without Stevens!"

"I told you, I'm staying here!" Stevens yelled, voice cracking with the combination of hormones and stress.

I clenched my jaw. Only a few seconds with this kid and I already wanted to pump a few clips into his skull. I controlled myself, letting some of my frustration go by blasting away another pair of troopers.

"Take him or leave him!" I called over my shoulder. "Make a choice before we have to fight our way past every trooper in the whole fucking complex!"

Jack roared wordlessly - bringing me back to the time I was chasing her through a prison ship, screams echoing off of the bulkhead at every turn - and sent a biotic wave across the room.

Stevens squealed as the stasis pod crashed over him, and then his unconscious body slumped to the floor. Jack stomped over to him and hauled him onto her shoulders.

"Right behind you, Shepard," she said.

I turned my mic back on for a moment. "Garrus, Liara, we're headed your way."

"Got the kid?" Garrus asked.

"Um. Yes, we got him. In our own way."

"We're seeing more Cerberus activity, Shepard," Liara said. "We'll do our best to keep the path clear for you two, but you're going to have to hurry."

"On it." Click.

* * *

_A/N: Did this section feel rushed? It felt that way as I was editing, but I couldn't tell if it was just because it was more action-y or if I was actually rushing through it. Let me know what you guys think, so far!_


	17. Chapter 17

_31 October 2186, London, Earth_

"Scratch one!" Garrus shouted.

I snorted. Not even a war with the Reapers could knock the cockiness out of him.

His voice carried from the room ahead of us. It appeared to be some kind of lecture hall - rows of elevated seats, stairs leading downwards, huge screens and a lectern at the front of the room - and, sure enough, an emergency exit was clearly marked at the bottom of the pit of chairs. Unfortunately, there were a couple dozen Cerberus troopers, centurions, and guardians between us and the way out.

Jack and I entered at the top row of seats and dove into cover. She dumped Stevens on the ground while I crept over to where Garrus had positioned himself.

He loaded another heat sink into his Mantis.

"Welcome to the party," he said.

I slid my Carnifex into my holster and pulled my Black Widow out over my shoulder. The barrel and scope slid out with their trademark hisses and beeps.

Liara and Jack were poised on the opposite side of the room. At least we all had the high ground on our side.

"Leave any Guardians for me?" I asked, sighting a trooper and dropping him.

Garrus fired and a Centurion grunted, shields gone.

"Of course," he said. "I'm up to 76, by the way."

"Bullshit!" I said. Boom. I caught the Centurion in his helmet's visor.

"What's the matter, Shepard, are you upset because you're stuck in the low 50s?" he teased.

A shockwave of biotic blasts ripped across the center of the room, throwing troopers aside like discarded tissue paper. A Centurion suddenly found himself suspended in midair in one of Liara's singularities.

"69, thank you very much," I retorted. I aimed down at one of the Guardians in the room and managed to pump a round through the mail slot. He dropped his shield and fell on top of it, motionless.

"Make that 70." I grinned at him.

"Showoff."

"That's Commander Showoff, to you, Vakarian."

He chuckled.

A few rounds bounced off of my shields. I threw a tech blast at the nearest trio of troopers and ducked back behind cover. I could feel the heat of the incendiary through the spaces between the chairs.

There were only a handful of troopers, two Centurions, and one Guardian left-

Boom. Crunch. "77, and one less to worry about!" Garrus declared triumphantly.

Make that a handful of troopers and two Centurions.

It was time to make a run for the exit.

"Push forward! " I shouted across the room.

Jack roared and took out the remaining Centurions with the potent cocktail of her shotgun and biotic rage.

"Shepard, we have a problem!" Liara called.

Garrus and I made short work of four of the troopers.

"What do you mean we have a- Oh, shit," I cursed.

The one remaining trooper was standing in front of the lectern, completely out of cover, and he had Stevens.

He held the teenager's slack body up in front of him as a human shield, pistol pointed at Stevens's lolling head.

"Damn," Garrus spat.

"One more move and the kid's brain is going to be all over the walls," the trooper called to us.

"Fuck this," I said to myself, coming out of cover again.

I aimed at the trooper and fired.

"Shepard!" Jack yelled.

My shot blasted through Stevens's arm and exited out of the back of the trooper's chest. Cerberus armor clattered against the ground and Stevens slumped beside the trooper's corpse.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jack shouted at me, spitting fire.

"Rescuing Stevens's sorry ass," I replied calmly, reloading my Widow.

"You blew his fucking arm off!" Jack, still glowing blue, turned on me and stormed across the room.

"Oh, please," I drawled, rolling my eyes. "It's still attached. Better a little hole in his arm than a lifetime of Cerberus servitude, right?"

Liara had already rushed to the boy's side, kneeling down and checking his pulse. Part of me wanted to point out that she wasn't actually that kind of doctor, but I knew she was just doing what her gentle-beyond-belief nature compelled her to do and that fact made me smile a little.

"Wipe that goddamned smirk off your fucking face, Shepard," Jack snarled. "You just shot a fucking kid."

"She didn't 'just shoot' a kid," Garrus cut in. "It was the quickest way to end the situation, and Stevens is alive. Shepard doesn't just go around shooting the people she's supposed to protect for no reason."

"Yeah?" Jack crossed her arms. "Tell that to Kaidan."

I froze. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"I said," Jack enunciated and took a few steps towards me, "tell that to Kai-"

My fist caught her across her jaw and I regretted punching her almost as soon as I'd done it. I also suddenly remembered the downside of Jack and I working together. Nobody could set me off as easily as she could.

"You cunt!" she snarled and lunged at me.

We both managed to land a few solid blows before I felt two three-fingered hands prying me out of the melee.

"Cut it out, you two!" Garrus shouted over our combined cursing.

I shrugged out of his grasp and walked a few paces away, rolling my shoulder and glaring at Jack.

"Stevens is going to be fine," Liara called meekly from below, unsure of whether or not to interject. She held a handful of medi-gel to the boy's arm.

"See?" I said. I swiped the back of my hand against my lip, wiping away some of the blood that had dripped down my chin after one of Jack's left hooks. "He's going to be fine. Drop your little hissy fit and stop spouting bullshit about things you can't even begin to understand."

"Fuck you, Shepard," Jack said.

"Get in line," I retorted.

"Does anyone want to lend me a hand?" Liara asked. Garrus walked down to the lectern and they both hoisted Stevens's flaccid form onto Garrus's back.

"Let's get out of this shithole," I said, already walking towards the exit.

"Yeah, before I kick your ass," Jack muttered.

I kept walking, taking the stairs downwards two at a time.

I shot the glass exit to pieces with my Carnifex - my wrath didn't have the patience for opening doors the traditional way - and tromped outside the complex into the clammy English morning, swearing under my breath the whole way.

Liara trotted to catch up to me.

"She didn't mean it, you know," she said softly. "We all know you did what you had to do, with Kaidan. The Council was at stake. He wasn't listening to reason."

"Yeah, well, I'd prefer not to think about it right now, if it's all the same to you," I snapped.

"Of course."

The car was in sight. We had the kid and the Normandy had the data. All in all, it was a win for everyone. Well, everyone except Stevens.

I sighed. "It's just... It's a lot."

"What is?"

I chuckled. "Oh, you know. Everything."

Liara nudged me with an elbow. "Well, you have people to talk to about it, when the mood strikes you."

"Thank the Goddess," I said, mimicking her voice.

She lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry." I shrugged and grinned. "And thanks, Liara. I don't know what I'd do without you to keep my feet on the ground."

"You'd probably choke a psychiatrist or something."

I snorted. "That has been known to happen."

"Spirits," Garrus said, a few paces behind us. "What have you been feeding this kid, Jack?" He shifted his hold on Stevens's body.

"The blood of my enemies," she answered sourly.

"No wonder he weighs half a ton," Garrus deadpanned.

Jack walked past me, completely avoiding eye contact, and unlocked the car with her fingerprint.

"Where do you want Stevens?" Garrus asked.

Wordlessly, Jack opened the trunk.

Garrus dumped the teenager into the car and closed the trunk.

He and Liara climbed into the backseat, and I stopped Jack with a hand on her shoulder before she could climb in after them.

"Hey," I began.

"Not interested in your apologies, Shepard."

"Good, because I'm not planning on apologizing." I cocked an eyebrow at her when she glowered at me. "I just wanted to say that I know I left a mess behind, after the Catalyst, and I'm glad you're okay."

Her shoulders dropped a fraction of an inch. "You too, Shepard."

She lowered herself into the driver's seat.

"That being said, don't you ever pull shit like that with my kids again."

"I'll do my best." I got into the passenger's seat.

A muffled tapping came from the trunk.

"I think Stevens is-" Liara began to say.

"Don't worry about it," Jack cut her off. "He can stew for a while. Let's get you three back to the Normandy before I get sick of your ugly mugs."

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you guys think! Reviews are always appreciated!_


	18. Chapter 18

_31 October 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Lay it on me, T'Soni." I kicked back in my chair and massaged my aching shoulder. All of the physical activity hadn't done it any favors.

Liara, Garrus, and I were in the conference room, eating a breakfast of dextro-protein rations (for Garrus) and cold, scrambled eggs that Traynor had surprised everyone with that morning, while we'd been away (for Liara and me). The rest of our time in London had been fairly uneventful: Jack dropped us off at the shuttle, we said our brief and emotionally-stunted goodbyes, and the Normandy rendezvoused with the shuttle a couple of hours later. I had no problem with not staying in the city any longer. Even with most of the rubble cleared, it felt wrong to be there.

I picked up a few egg bits with my fingers and shoveled them greedily into my mouth. Garrus eyed the wiggling food with an expression that could only be described as off-put.

"Well, to start, your instinct about the Apien Crest was correct," Liara said after politely swallowing her own mouthful of food. "The records we retrieved from Cerberus indicate that they are planning an attack on Palaven within the next two Solar weeks."

"Oh, what fun," I said wryly.

"It gets worse," Garrus said, looking down and digging a fork into his brick of protein.

"Of course it does."

"Their records also suggested that, even though they're not relying upon indoctrination this time around, Cerberus hasn't strayed far from using Reaper technology. We found a few files that hinted at the repurposing of Reaper weapons."

I frowned and leaned forward, elbows folded against the table. "Which weapons?"

Garrus gave me a meaningful look.

"You can't mean the Capital Ship MHD cannons."

Liara cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Fuck." I chucked my handful of eggs back onto my plate. "How'd they even get the damn things to work? Magnetohydrodynamic cannons need a little more juice than your typical Cerberus pea-shooter."

"That's where the biotics come in," Garrus said.

"As far as we can tell, they found a way to use enormous mass effect fields to supercharge conductive fluids and turn them into, well, plasma," Liara explained.

I dug my fingers into my shoulder and rubbed it. "Outstanding."

"There wasn't any indication in the reports to suggest they'd successfully tested the weapon, but there weren't any failed tests on the record, either."

"So they could have a useless hunk of Reaper trash, or they could have a weapon of mass destruction capable of cutting through buildings and ships without batting an eyelash." I pinched the bridge of my nose. There was little to no chance the Alliance or the Council would act on such shaky intelligence. Why? Why, in the name of all things good in the galaxy, did this sort of thing always have to come down to us?

"The fact that they're kidnapping biotics could hint towards the former," Garrus said, finishing off his breakfast.

"Or they could be making more weapons, or improving the strength of an already-operational weapon," Liara pointed out.

I crossed my arms on the table in front of me and leaned my forehead against them, groaning loudly.

"Have we heard anything from Jack? Maybe Stevens told her something." My voice was muffled by the fabric of my uniform.

Liara shook her head. "Apparently, Stevens is refusing to speak to her."

"Fucking teenagers," I mumbled under my breath. I pushed myself back into an upright position and thought for a moment.

"Alright," I said. "We know we're needed in the Apien Crest, so we need to get our asses there before we make any other decisions. With any luck, the MHD cannons are still in development and we can crush Cerberus's fever dream in its early stages."

They nodded in agreement. I didn't mention that, given the past state of our combined luck, that possibility was entirely unlikely.

I pressed a few buttons on my omnitool and hailed Joker on the bridge.

"Joker, back to the original plan. Apien Crest, as soon as you can."

"Already on it, Commander. Should hit the relay tomorrow morning, early."

"Make sure we're not being watched. I don't need us getting grounded when we're in the middle of saving the damn day. Again."

Joker scoffed. "As if I'd ever let my baby get caught so easily. Don't worry, Commander."

The comm channel clicked off. I smiled a little. It was the first time since I'd been back that I'd heard Joker refer to the Normandy as his "baby."

I looked back to Liara and Garrus.

I sighed. "You heard the man. We've got the rest of the day to get ready. Let's hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. Gird your loins, and all that."

Garrus started. "You want me to do what to my where?"

I shoved one last handful of eggs into my mouth. "Just an expression. Don't worry about it."

* * *

My heart raced in my throat as I made my fortieth lap around the CIC. A few night-shift crew members were at work near and on the bridge, but everyone else was asleep in their bunks. Earlier in the evening, I'd curled up next to Garrus, but after a few restless hours I'd decided to run out my energy on the deck above.

I looped around the galaxy map again, pushing myself to move faster.

I almost didn't see Liara when she stepped out of the elevator right in front of me.

Skidding to a halt, I braced my hands against my knees and caught my breath.

"Liara," I panted, "did I wake you?"

She shook her head. "No. I couldn't sleep, either. None of us could." Liara nodded back to the elevator, where Tali and Solana were seated on the floor.

"We heard you stomping around up here and figured you were in for a sleepless night, too," Solana explained. "Always hard to unwind before a fight."

"We also figured there was a better way for you to unwind than running yourself into the ground," Tali added. She produced a bottle of Asari liquor from the floor beside her which, according to the label, was fittingly-named Eternal Embrace.

I smiled. "I appreciate the gesture, but I probably wouldn't be much fun to drink with. Alcohol tends to make me wallow, lately. I suspect it has something to do with single-handedly ruining the lives of most people in the galaxy."

Solana snorted derisively and crossed her arms. "Do you really think we'd let you wallow?"

"Really, Shepard. We're a team of highly-trained professionals. When we offer you a good time, you can be certain you're going to have a good time." Liara grinned.

"Besides, you owe me a drink. You said so, yourself." Tali waved the bottle in the air enticingly.

I stretched my shoulder for the umpteenth time and chuckled. "Alright, alright. Just promise you'll go easy on me. The last time I drank, it ended with me waking up in a Cerberus base, and I've spent enough time in Cerberus facilities today."

Solana pumped a fist in the air. "Let's do this!"

Liara ushered me into the elevator and closed the doors behind us. I waited for her to choose a destination deck, but instead she sat cross-legged on the ground with Tali and Solana.

I wavered uncertainly where I stood.

"So, are we just going to party in the elevator?" I asked. I shifted from foot to foot.

"Yep," Solana declared.

"Take a load off, Shepard," Tali ordered, patting the floor between her and Liara.

I grunted as I bent my sore legs and did as I was told. Liara poured me a glass of liquor.

Solana clapped her hands and rubbed them together. "Alright, ladies. The game of the evening is 'I've Never.' If you've done it, you drink. Liara, start us off."

Liara blinked, thought for a moment, and then grinned mischievously. I was briefly struck by the fact that I'd never seen that expression cross her face before, in all the years I'd known her.

"I've never been in command of a military group," she said.

"I don't know if that's true, Shadow Broker," Tali said pointedly.

Solana's gaze whipped back to Liara. "_You're_ the Shadow Broker?"

Liara waved off their comments with her hand. "Yes, I am. And that's an intelligence network, not a military operation. Drink up, you three."

We all took a sip from our glasses - Tali nursed hers from a long, pink, curly straw - and I sucked in a breath to quell the unbelievable burning the liquor left behind.

"Keelah!" Tali coughed.

"Your turn, Shepard," Solana said.

I thought for a moment. Perhaps the alcohol was already affecting me, because a thought entered my head and made me chuckle aloud.

"I've never been under the command of a dead woman," I said.

Tali and Liara groaned and took a sip. I lifted an eyebrow at Solana.

"I'm not under your command, Shepard," she said, shrugging.

"Hey," Tali said, already starting to sway slightly where she sat. "You're on her ship - well, okay, you're on Vega's ship - but you follow Shepard's orders. If she's not your Commander, who is?"

Solana sighed and took a drink.

"My turn!" Tali chirped. "I've never been outside of an airtight suit for more than five minutes."

"Well, that was low-hanging fruit," I said, smirking.

Solana, Liara, and I drank. The liquor warmed my stomach and I hardly noticed the burn, this time.

Solana held her glass in the air and shouted, "I have never had the pleasure of saving the whole damned galaxy!"

"Twice!" I yelled and raised my own glass.

"Twice!" Solana echoed.

Tali, Liara, and I drank.

A couple of rounds later, we were running out of statements that applied to the entire group and it became clear that my opponents were trying to get me, specifically, drunk.

"I've never-" Tali hiccuped. "I've never had sex with a Turian."

I smiled to myself and took an especially large gulp, draining my glass.

"Stop catching me in the crossfire!" Solana groaned and then took a pull of liquor. "You need to be more specific, Tali."

Tali ignored her and offered the bottle to me to refill my drink, but I was too busy gaping at Liara, who had just taken a sip, herself.

Liara pulled a face. "Don't look so surprised, Shepard. I had my wild university days."

I shook my head to clear the inappropriate images that had flooded into my mind and giggled. I had to admit, I was enjoying myself.

Two rounds later, we were all decidedly smashed. We were either sprawled across the floor or - in my case - leaning heavily against the wall of the elevator.

Solana straightened and looked me dead in the eye. "I've never lost to my brother during target practice."

I grinned and took my punishment. "He told you about that, huh?"

Solana nodded.

"I never led a band of pickpockets as a child," Liara said.

"Hey! That's the last time I ever tell you anything about my past, T'Soni! You three're gonna fuckin' butcher my liver, at this rate." I drank. I was slurring and wavering where I sat, but damned if this wasn't the very definition of unwinding.

I rolled my shoulder. "I've never..." I trailed off and closed my eyes. For a split, imagined second, I was lying on sand, bare skin warmed by the sun. Talons traced down my spine and waves crashed behind me. "I've never been to a beach."

"We'll have to rectify that," Garrus said, appearing to my left back in reality. I barely had the presence of mind left to realize that he'd probably called the elevator and opened the door to find us all hammered.

"That would be nice," I mumbled.

He scooped me off of the floor and cradled me against him like an enormous, drunken baby.

"Awww, Gar-Bear, don't ruin our fun!" Solana whined.

"I'm not sure how much fun Shepard has left in her." Garrus chuckled. The reverberating sound tickled my cheek and I nuzzled against him instinctively. "You three look like you could use some sleep, too."

"Don't judge me, _Gar-Bear,_" Tali pouted and hiccuped.

"He's probably right," Liara sighed. "Don't worry, Garrus, I'll help these two into bed. You should go savor that last shot before you pop the heat sink." She barely kept a straight face while she was talking and promptly burst into very un-Asari-like guffaws when she finished.

"You told them about that?" Garrus groaned.

"You told them about beating me at target practice," I slurred. "Eye for an eye, Vakarian."

"Fair enough." He stroked a finger against my arm and I all but purred. "Let's get you to bed, Commander."

"Carry her well into that dark night, sweet prince!" Liara called and giggled - actually _giggled_. Turns out, Asari liquor was no joke.

Solana shoved her playfully. "Gross! That's my brother. I don't even want to picture them having- just- gross!"

Garrus huffed resignedly and stepped off of the elevator. The door closed, leaving us in silence.

"I couldn't sleep," I murmured.

"I noticed," he said. I could hear the smile in his tones.

"They got me drunk."

"I noticed that, too."

Somewhere in another universe, the door to the Battery opened and closed.

"Am I heavy?"

"A little."

"Sorry."

"I don't mind, so long as that Gar-Bear thing doesn't catch on."

"Really? I like it."

"I don't."

"Well, then I'll shoot people if they call you that. Throw their bodies out the airlock."

"Punishment fits the crime."

Garrus laid me down on the bunk and sat next to me.

"Are there beaches on Palaven?"

"There are. If we get the chance, I'll take you to one."

I smiled into the pillow. "I'd like that."

"Me too."

* * *

_A/N: SO MUCH FLUFF. But it's a scientific fact that fluff does a body good. What did you guys think?_


	19. Chapter 19

_1 November, 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Fucking shitbitch sack of fucking ass," I hissed, pressing my fingers to my temples. I'd only been awake for a handful of moments, but I wanted to shove that handful back into life's face and make it eat those goddamned moments.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Garrus said. He pried one of my hands away from my face and pressed a bottle of water into it. "Asari liquor isn't exactly known for being easy on other species."

"Fuck. I'm never drinking again." I took a sip of water and failed to ignore the immediate churning that reared backwards in my stomach. "Shit."

"Well, that's one solution. You could also just not drink quite so much in one sitting." He pushed my hair out of my face and took the drained bottle of water from me.

"Hey. Shut up. This is all your fault."

He tilted his head and raised his brows at me. "How is it my fault?"

"You didn't murder Sol before she could make me play that stupid game and get me trashed."

He chuckled. "I thought nobody could _make_ Commander Shepard do anything."

"They can't," I said, "and don't you forget it. But I still blame you. And Sol, and Liara, and Tali. And whatever Asari thought that putting poison in that fancy bottle was a good fucking idea. And whoever invented fucking hangovers. They can all go fuck themselves."

"I'll be sure to pass that message on," Garrus said, bemused. "But first, let's get you out of bed."

"Do we have to?"

"We're only a few hours away from the relay, and you really don't want to be in the throes of an Asari-level hangover when we jump. Trust me."

I opened my eyes a crack and pursed my lips. "Sounds like there's a story, there."

He snorted. "Oh, there are a handful of stories, there. Take this." He handed me a pill and another bottle of water. "Drink up."

"Do these stories also involve reach and flexibility?"

"They might. Take your medicine."

The pill was a standard painkiller. I swallowed it and chased it with the contents of the second bottle. Taking a few deep breaths, I lurched into a seated position on the edge of the bed.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit." I clutched my spinning head.

"Up you go," Garrus said, hooking his hands under my arms and lifting me to my feet.

I almost hurled, right then and there. My legs shook violently. "Damn it. You're a bastard, sometimes, Vakarian." I clamped a hand over my mouth in an attempt to keep the contents of my stomach at bay.

"I know." Even his voice was smirking.

"It's probably why I like you so much." I steadied myself and willed the painkiller and water to start working.

"I know," he repeated.

Letting me lean bodily against his torso, Garrus lead me over to the locker and gently stripped my sweat-and-liquor-stained uniform off of my body.

"Glad to see your skills with human clothing are improving," I observed.

He chuckled. "It helps that I'm not... distracted." He tossed my shirt and trousers aside and picked a fresh uniform from the locker. Almost imperceptibly, he planted a light kiss on the back of my shoulder.

"Don't go getting any ideas," I said, even as I sighed and leaned back against him. "I may be in my underwear, but I'm not in any condition for that, right now."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Commander." He held up my shirt and I shrugged into it.

I took the rest of my uniform from him and dressed as quickly as my mangled gut and head would let me. The hangover seemed to exacerbate the pain in my shoulder, too. Just my luck.

When I'd finished, I straightened to find him standing at his terminal. My mind went back to all of the times I'd come down here to find him standing in that exact spot, shoulders bent, head bowed, lost in concentration. He keyed in a few words and his posture dropped a little. He rubbed the back of his neck.

There was something odd about seeing him at the terminal without his armor on. He was so much smaller and unassuming without it. Before the end of the war, I had only seen him without it when I'd been the one to take it off. Lately, though, he'd taken to wearing what I assumed were the Turian version of fatigues - lightweight, close-fitting fabric in monotone grays and blacks. He still looked damn good, just different.

"Garrus," I said quietly. I didn't have anything else to say, I just wanted his attention for a moment.

He looked up. His brow and mandibles relaxed. I smiled and drank him in. If there was one thing being resurrected a couple of times taught you, it was an appreciation for the little things. Little things like the chips in his facial tattoos left behind by scarring, or the way his head tilted to the side a little whenever he didn't have his visor on, as though he was compensating for the lack of its weight resting on his face. It could have been my tremendous hangover talking, but he always seemed to have an energy about him that was absolutely infectious.

I must have unnerved him with the way I was staring, though, because after a few moments he shifted uncomfortably.

"Need my help with something, Shepard?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Just admiring the view."

He took a few swaggering steps towards me. "Well, I don't know how I feel about being objectified by my CO, but-"

"Technically, I'm not your CO." I crossed my arms over my still-uneasy stomach and cocked an eyebrow at him. "And I didn't say objectifying. I said admiring. And don't use your sultry voice on me when I feel like I'm about to explode from both ends and die a horrible, painful death."

He blinked. "That was more information about the human body than I ever needed to hear. Ever."

I closed the gap between us and pecked his cheek. "Yeah, well, now you know. And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hobble over to the restroom and puke my guts out in the hopes of ending this fucking nightmare of a hangover."

Garrus's mandibles shifted in discomfort. "Again. Didn't need to know that, Shepard." He chuckled awkwardly and stepped out of my way, guiding me past him with a hand on my shoulder.

I glanced sidelong at the terminal before he could push me from the Battery and dug my heels into the deck. "What were you doing?" I asked.

"Just... Trying to get in touch with someone, before we hit the relay."

"Oh." I watched him carefully. There it was, again. That worried look that kept cropping up from time to time, ever since I'd been back. "Your dad?"

"Yeah," he said. "No luck, though. As usual. Haven't heard from him in months."

"We'll find him," I said softly.

"Yeah."

"Hey," I said, shoving him a little. "We will. Come on. It's us. If we can stop the Reapers, we can hunt down a cranky old Turian."

"How'd you know he's cranky?"

I grinned. "Lucky guess."

He cleared his throat and resumed his trademark cockiness. "I'm sure you're right, Shepard. But we won't be able to find him if you - ah, how'd you put it - explode from both ends and die. So go wash up and... I don't know. Do what you need to do."

"Was that an order, Vakarian?"

"Yes."

"Mutiny."

"Insubordination."

I laughed. The worry was still there, but it had dissipated somewhat. I walked backwards, towards the door.

"We'll discuss your punishment later."

"Promises, promises."

* * *

"Fuck you. And fuck your drinking games." I flicked the back of Solana's fringe as I spoke, grinning when she groaned and hung her head. She was seated at a terminal in the CIC, scanning through a few screens and generally looking miserable.

"Don't touch me, Shepard. I'm dying."

"You're not dying, Sol," Garrus said behind me, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"You will be when I'm done getting back at you for this hangover, though," I continued. "Seriously, what the fuck was that Asari liquor made of? Distilled uranium?"

"Actually," Liara cut in, striding into the CIC with her usual candor, "distilled plant material that was grown with eezo-infused water."

"Oh, good. So it _was_ poison," I deadpanned. "Why don't you look like shit, Liara?"

She gave me a look. "I can handle my liquor, Shepard. And thank you for the compliment, I think."

"You ladies get into trouble, last night?" James asked, walking onto the deck at Liara's heels. "Heard some commotion in Engineering at zero-dark-hundred this morning."

I raised my brows at Liara.

"Oh, uh, Tali was having some trouble getting to bed." She shrugged.

"And also with walking," Solana added.

"Anyone make any drunken mistakes they'd like to share?" Vega asked, smirking. "Wet t-shirt contests, unplanned ass tattoos, anything to brighten my day?"

"Sorry to disappoint, Vega, but no. Just some drinking games and good-natured fun," I said.

"Besides, Shepard already has a tattoo on her-"

I elbowed Garrus in the gut before he could finish his sentence. He spluttered.

James, Liara, and Solana all turned to stare at me.

"Shut up," I said, giving them my most intimidating look.

"So, is it on the actual cheek, or is it-" James began.

_"Shut up." _I flushed red and brandished a finger at him, smiling a little despite myself.

"I wonder what it could be," Liara murmured.

Garrus cleared his throat and I turned on him.

"Don't you dare. I love you, but I will _end_ you, Vakarian."

He leaned in closer, cocked his head, and whispered under his breath, "Promises."

Oh, he was going to get it.

"Aww. That's cute," Solana said dryly, folding back into her hungover fetal position. "Now, all of you get out of my airspace so I can suffer in peace."

As if on cue, Joker called from the bridge, "We're at the relay, Commander. Or, you know. Commanders. You people. Just waiting for clearance codes and we'll be on our way."

"Sending them now, Joker," Vega said.

I tried not to let the fact that I didn't have the clearance codes for my own damn ship bother me. Of course, I failed, but I swallowed and kept it to myself.

"Much obliged," Joker said. "Anyone want to come see the light show?"

I nudged Garrus. "Want to get the first glimpse of home?"

"Always." He touched his hand to mine briefly and then walked down the hall to Joker's lair.

"What about you, Sol?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I think I may have actually lost the ability to move below the waist. I'll just sit here and think about what I've done to my digestive tract."

"Fair enough."

Liara and James were still looking at me pensively. I stared them down for a long moment.

"It must be a military tattoo," Liara finally said.

I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I think you're right about that one, Blue."

"I'll tell you what," I said, "if either of you ever correctly guesses what it is, I'll buy your drinks for an entire solar year."

"Deal," Vega said quickly.

I followed Garrus to the bridge. "That being said, you'll never guess what it is." I grinned over my shoulder.

"No worries, Lola," James called. "I like a little mystery in a woman."

"T-minus ten seconds," Joker said.

I stood behind the pilot's seat. Through the windows on the bridge, we could see the relay. It looked exactly as I'd remembered it, and I briefly wondered what it had looked like when it was damaged. The word "Aratoht" flashed through my thoughts and I pushed it away reflexively, just like I did every time we approached a relay.

"Five, four..."

Joker guided the Normandy alongside the relay, skimming the edges of its mass effect field.

"Three, two, one."

I reached for Garrus's hand and smiled as we were slingshotted into another star system. Just like old times.

* * *

_A/N: More fluff. So much fluff. Next chapter is going to take a turn for the darker side of events, so I figured a little more lightheartedness was called for. Also, I'm thinking about working on some more smutty one-shot fics, if that's something you guys would be interested in. Let me know what you think!_


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Sorry for the brief hiatus! Halloween got pretty crazy, and I spent the last few days putting the final touches on my FemShep-on-shore-leave costume. If you want to see photos, my insta-ham username is the same as my FFN username - katherinosaurus. _

* * *

_1 November, 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

Garrus and I stood behind Joker's chair, staring out of the windows at the fluctuating blue lights which writhed around the Normandy. Garrus was excited. The way he talked about Palaven told me that it wasn't just his homeworld, it was his home. I knew his father was there, somewhere, and I imagined he must have some other family in the surrounding area. Maybe I'd finally get to meet the rest of my in-laws.

I was excited, too, if still a little hungover. All I'd seen of Palaven was the view we'd had from Menae. I remembered it as a burning, ruined war zone, while Garrus had spent many a night telling me stories of the warmth and the sun and the beautiful, sweeping cityscapes that dotted the planet's surface.

We hit the Apien Crest relay and shot out of its mass effect field. Only a few hours from Palaven, now.

"I figure we should dock in one of the major cities. If Cerberus is going to target Palaven, they'd want to hit the most populated areas, first," I said.

"Like Reapers," Garrus added.

I frowned and nodded.

"Well that's a cheery way to look at it," Joker said. "At least they don't have giant war-machines that shoot death rays, right?" He brought the Normandy around, facing us towards the planet.

"Well, there's a small chance that- Oh, fuck," I breathed.

"Shit," Joker cursed under his breath. Reflexively, he brought his hands to his head and dug his fingers into his hat.

Garrus said nothing, but coughed like he'd been slugged in the gut.

We could see Palaven clearly.

We could also see the enormous fleet of warships in formation just outside of its atmosphere.

The surface of the planet was just as I'd remembered it: torn, with fire pouring out of the crust in huge, ragged gashes across its surface. Given the reactions of the two men on the bridge with me, this wasn't the way they'd left the planet a couple of days prior.

We were too late. Cerberus had already made its move.

I turned on my heel and strode away from the bridge, shouting orders over my shoulder. "Get us on that planet as fast as the Normandy can take us, Joker, and someone get Hackett on Comms _now!"_

Joker's hands were already flying across the helm's interface.

"Yes, Sir!" James barked from a few yards down the hall, immediately sprinting in the direction of the QEC without a moment's hesitation.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" Solana stood from her terminal and ran for the bridge, nearly colliding with me as she went. I heard her gasp and start screaming and I heard Garrus yelling for her to calm down, but I kept walking. A roaring started in my ears and grew until I couldn't focus on much of anything else, other than my wrath. I had been such an idiot, wasting time with shore leave and Jack. If we'd gotten here earlier, maybe we could have stopped this. Damn it.

Liara walked alongside me, matching my pace at a trot.

"How bad is it?" she asked softly.

I gritted my teeth. "Remember that worst-case scenario?"

"Oh, no." Her steps faltered and I could almost hear her stomach - assuming Asari had stomachs - drop.

I walked through the security check without stopping, ignoring the protests of the on-duty crew members. Liara followed close behind.

"You couldn't have known, Shepard," she said.

"Couldn't I?" I snapped. "They had their finger on the fucking trigger. I should have known they'd pull it. When has Cerberus ever given us a reason to believe they'd do anything even remotely fucking decent?"

"They brought you back."

We rounded the edge of the War Room and I punched the door control for the QEC.

"Yeah. Look how well that turned out for everyone," I retorted bitterly, shooting her a look.

Liara frowned and stood to the side of the doorway, apparently choosing to linger in the War Room.

James turned to face me when I entered the QEC. Hackett was already on the holodeck.

"Commander Shepard," Hackett began sternly, "judging by your location, am I to understand that you disobeyed a direct-"

"Admiral, we need the Alliance fleet here, and we need it yesterday. Cerberus made its move against Palaven."

"Not a possibility, Shepard. The fleet is staying here."

I stepped towards the holodeck and snarled, "People are fucking dying out here, Admiral. I don't care what kind of scissors you need to cut the red tape, but cut the bullshit and get the fleet to the Apien Crest."

James shifted uncomfortably as I spoke, clearly unnerved by the tone I was taking with our superior officer.

"Get ahold of yourself, Commander. You are way out of-"

"Palaven is a fucking shambles, Admiral, and from what I'm hearing, you don't intend to do anything about it. So, with all due respect, I don't think I'm the one who's out of fucking line, here," I spat. "Tell me you're sending reinforcements or end this fucking call, because otherwise we have nothing more to say to one another, Sir."

Hackett sighed frustratedly. "The situation here is more complicated than you're aware, Commander. We are dealing with mass casualties, too."

My heart sank. I doubted Cerberus had the resources to fight its war on two fronts, already, but I didn't doubt the organization could have a hand in whatever had been concerning Hackett since I'd been back on the Normandy.

"You're going to need to clarify, Sir." I said, trying to keep my voice level. "What the fuck is going on?"

"The riots on Earth have... intensified, since your escape from the Cerberus compound. Interspecies violence is at an all-time high. Humans have splintered into factions. Chemical weapons, biotic violence, improvised bombs... It's a mess."

"Fuck!" I slammed a fist against my thigh to release some of my rage and turned away from the Admiral momentarily. "Why would my escape have any impact on the riots? Cerberus failed, Sir. They didn't execute me, and their plot was uncovered, so why?"

Hackett looked down and avoided my gaze when I returned my attention to him.

"Well, frankly, it seems some people wish Cerberus had succeeded in executing you. They watched you murder those mercs on a live feed, and that footage shook some people into quite a frenzy."

"Funny, they didn't have a problem with me murdering scum when it meant saving _their_ asses," I growled under my breath.

Hackett either didn't hear me or chose to ignore me. "Of course," he continued, "now there are even more nut-job Reformists who support Cerberus's cause for humanity's sake, and the video gave them an excuse to buy a gun and start shooting up city blocks. And then there are those of us who support you and the Alliance."

"But all of that doesn't change the fact that Palaven needs the fleet more than Earth does. Rioting is nothing compared to what we're seeing, here, Sir." I resumed my military posture. James relaxed somewhat, sensing that the majority of my anger had passed.

"As far as we know, the fleet's presence is the only thing keeping Earth in one piece. We're aware of the attack on Palaven, but Alliance brass-"

"What do you mean you're _aware_ of the attack on Palaven, Sir?" I narrowed my eyes. I could hear James gulp.

"Communications with Palaven went down thirteen hours ago."

I gaped. Blood rushed to my cheeks. _"Thirteen hours?_ Thirteen fucking hours, and you said _nothing?"_

James cleared his throat and shifted his heels.

"Commander-" Hackett began.

"I was right! I was right about Palaven, and you shuffled us aside. Sent us to Thessia and didn't send so much as a motherfucking carrier pigeon when you knew I was fucking _right_. Where the fuck do you get off-"

Now, the Admiral was bristling. "Watch your tone, Shepard. Do you really think I'm that much of an idiot?"

"I-" I faltered. "Sir?"

"Do you think I believe for a second that you were ever on your way to Thessia?"

"Well, Sir-" I flushed even more as I stammered.

"Enough, Commander." Hackett crossed his arms.

I bit back the string of curses that flooded into my mouth and stung like bile.

"I know you had a bit of _shore leave _on Earth with a certain biotic friend of yours, and I know that - obviously - you're in the Apien Crest, and not heading for Thessia as you were ordered."

"Sir-" I said.

Hackett kept talking over my interruption. "And I know there's no way in hell Vega's in charge, out there."

James stared intently at the floor. I could see sweat forming against his collarbone and forehead. Poor guy. I appreciated him not intervening, but I knew it was likely hell for him to be in the same room as this conversation. The soldier in him couldn't be comfortable.

"Sir, that's not his fault. I take full responsibility," I said.

"I know you do, Shepard." Hackett sighed. "I know you, and I know that Commander Shepard isn't so easily 'shuffled aside' when she sets her mind to something. The current situation on Palaven isn't the Alliance's fault, and it isn't your fault, either. The only guilty party is Cerberus, and I should have known from the start that you'd go after them like a mad dog, no matter what I said. Honestly, it was foolish of me to even try keeping you out of this." By the end of his short speech, his tone had softened back into the familiar, paternal one I had heard in the hospital in Victoria.

I blinked, smirked, and then nodded curtly. "Foolish is a start, Sir."

"The majority of Alliance forces have been ordered to Earth and the colonies for crowd control. That being said, you're right. Palaven needs help."

"So you'll work on the brass. Get them to see what is happening on our end," I said, stepping back into my blunt combat voice.

Hackett nodded. "I will. But until then, you and yours will be our eyes, ears, and guns in the Apien Crest."

"Another suicide mission?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Figured it was right up your alley."

"It'll certainly keep us busy, Sir."

"And you will keep us informed. Use the Normandy to give us a clear picture of what is happening on the ground, there. That boat of yours should be able to work through the Cerberus comms blockade. Find out as much as you can about Cerberus's end game and stop the bastards, if you can."

"Without reinforcements."

"You're on your own. Keep a low profile. We don't need any more photos of your face plastered across the news vids."

"Stay in touch, Sir." I said, clasping my hands behind my back.

"Stay alive, Shepard. Hackett out."

The holodeck went dark.

James's posture slackened and he stared at me. I turned and strode back out into the war room, motioning for him to follow with a jerk of my head. I rested my hands against my console and briefly glanced up at the empty console beside it, half-expecting a Turian Primarch or Quarian Admiral to be looking back at me. My fingers brushed against the cold metal of the table and I leaned against it hard, still struggling to get my bearings. Palaven was under attack, we were going to stop it, and we were going to do it alone. Of course. Why couldn't anything ever be simple?

"Damn, Lola," Vega said, "I think that conversation gave me whiplash."

"Yeah, well, let's hope that's the worst of your injuries by the time we're done with these Cerberus asshats."

"Yes, Sir." He touched his fingers to his chest, then to his lips, and then raised them over his head in a quick, silent prayer. I did my best not to roll my eyes.

Liara joined me at the console.

"Sounded like it got pretty heated, in there," she said.

I nodded. "There was a slight difference of opinion."

"The Alliance isn't going to help Palaven." Liara's eyes steeled as she spoke.

"No," I said, "but we are."

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you guys think! It feels good to be putting up a new chapter after this brief dry spell. I don't think I'm going to be participating in NaNoWriMo proper, but I will challenge myself to update every other day for the entire month!_


	21. Chapter 21

_1 November, 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Solana, calm down!" Garrus shouted on the other side of the door. Something clattered against the bulkhead and Solana screamed incoherently.

I waited impatiently as the security personnel scanned me. Usually, I'd give them flack for it and joke about the fact that they knew I was armed and dangerous, and yet they were still going to let me into the CIC, but today I just crossed my arms and glared at the door ahead of me as the blue beams crisscrossed my body. James shifted nervously, big hands moving restlessly to his hips, to his sides, and back again. Liara's mouth was a tight, grim line.

Finally, the blessed beep sounded and the door opened automatically. We entered the CIC.

Solana and Garrus were on the far side of the Galaxy Map. Garrus held his sister by her arms, pinning them behind her back. She thrashed against him and swore at him.

"Let me go!" she snarled.

"Not until you calm down!"

"Hey!" I shouted, unholstering my Carnifex and leveling it at Solana. The safety was on and I had no intention of ever pulling the trigger, but if there was one thing a merc would understand it was a gun pointed at her chest. "Calm the fuck down. You won't do Palaven any good if your panicky ass is splattered all over my nav terminals."

She eyed my gun with a moment's hesitation before she must have realized my finger wasn't even on the trigger. She resumed her struggle against her brother's grip.

"Don't tell me to calm down! That's _home_, Garrus! Home!"

"I know, Sol," Garrus said. He pulled his sister backwards, spun her around, and hugged her tightly. As if she were a mech whose power source had been cut, Solana immediately deflated and leaned limply into the embrace. James, Liara, and I watched the scene, feeling for all the galaxy like intruders.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, lowered my weapon, and slowly walked around the Map.

"Got it out of your system, Sol?" I asked.

She glared at me over her shoulder. "Not in the slightest."

"Good," I said. "You're going to need that anger when we show Cerberus what happens when you fuck with Turians."

Garrus slowly let Solana loose, watching her for any signs that she might whip herself into a frenzy again.

His sister crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Please tell me the Alliance is sending help," she said. Her voice shook and cracked, but she maintained her physical composure.

"The Alliance has their own front to fight on, right now. They're sending in their best crew for the job."

"So, what? A few measly ships against all of _that?" _Solana asked sharply, nodding towards the windows on the bridge.

"Wait, what do you mean they're fighting on another front?" Garrus took a few steps towards me, concern on his face.

"Things on Earth have gotten... messier. The fleet is doing their best to keep the peace. And they're not sending a few measly ships. Just one badass ship." Solana looked lost, so I gave her a significant look and then waved my pistol in the general direction of the Normandy around us.

"Oh. Great." Solana's mandibles clicked irritably. "She means us." She turned away from the rest of us and kicked the deck with a frustrated curse.

"So they're really not sending reinforcements?" Garrus asked. His tones were quiet, uncertain, and the most forlorn notes I'd ever heard harmonizing with his gravelly voice. The sheer sadness was enough to send a crack snapping through my heart. I took a step closer to him and gently brushed my fingertips against his.

"We don't need reinforcements," I said, forcing my voice to sound more confident than I actually felt. "You should know that, Vakarian. You're hard to kill."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"But nothing," I interrupted, squaring my shoulders to address everyone in the CIC. "The Alliance isn't sending reinforcements, so we have to make do with what we've got and, frankly, we've got a hell of a lot. We've done the impossible more times than I can fucking count, so let's do the impossible one last time. We've already fought back Cerberus _and_ the Reapers simultaneously. Now all we have to do is finish Cerberus off before the whelps can fuck up any more of the peace _we_ created. We're going to Palaven. 'A silver world of fortresses and fucking fire' Palaven. We won't exactly be fighting this one alone."

Garrus and Solana still looked doubtful, but James was nodding vigorously and Liara's mouth had unwound itself back into her usual, peaceful expression.

"So buck the hell up and get ready, because we're about to go start some shit." I finished.

"Rousing, as always, Commander," Joker's voice said over the intercom.

"Yes. Very inspirational," Javik chimed in.

I smiled crookedly. "You heard me. Get ready, you lousy eavesdroppers."

"Yes, Commander!" Tali gurgled. It seemed she hadn't forgotten about her hangover quite as much as I had.

"We have just over three hours before we touch down," Joker said. "Commander, there are a few things we need to iron out before we land."

"Got it," I said, already walking towards the bridge.

"Tali, you should come up here, too," Joker said.

Tali's amplified voice sighed heavily and managed a muttered, "On my way, Joker."

I frowned, confused as to why Tali was needed on the bridge, and then I caught the empty look on Garrus's face as I walked past. The others - even his sister - had already walked off in the directions of their little corners of the ship, but he stood motionless.

I gripped his arm roughly to get his attention. His eyes slowly traveled to meet mine.

"We can do this, Garrus," I said softly. "I promise." I brushed my thumb against his jaw, squeezed his arm, and then let go. There wasn't any time for an emotional discussion, right now.

Joker was opening a few new screens on the helm when I walked up. I did my best to keep my eyes trained on his movements and to avoid looking at the scene through the windows again.

I vaguely recognized the screens Joker was working with as the ones he'd swept out of sight a couple of days prior. I also noticed that they were not, in fact, porn.

I squinted and leaned over his shoulder to get a closer look. Schematics, research articles, blueprints with Cerberus logos on them, and- Oh, that arrogant little bastard.

"Tell me you didn't," I said, straightening and placing my hands on my hips.

"Didn't what?" Joker asked, his voice squeaking a little under the weight of his guilt.

"Didn't steal Cerberus's files on EDI."

"Well, _I_ didn't steal them. A lot of them were already backed up in the Normandy's memory."

"And the others?" I cocked an eyebrow.

He thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully before coming up with, "You're the one who's buddy-buddy with a master thief, Commander."

"Damn it, Joker. You brought Kasumi into this?" And put her in Cerberus's line of fire, I added mentally.

"No! She volunteered! Said something about knowing what it's like to lose someone and I wasn't going to turn down her help if it meant that I could-"

_"We_ could," Tali corrected, shambling up onto the bridge behind me.

Joker rolled his eyes. "If it meant _we_ could bring EDI back."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Why are you telling me all of this now? We've got enough on our plates with Palaven."

"I'm telling you now _because_ we've got enough on our plates with Palaven." Joker turned his chair to face Tali and me. "The comms on Palaven are scrambled to hell. You can bet Cerberus is jamming them and we don't know when that whole mess is going to end, so wouldn't it be nice to have a functioning, state-of-the-art AI with you to circumvent the jamming so you can communicate with the Normandy and the rest of the galaxy?"

"I- Well-" I paused. "Well, yes. Yes, it would be nice. But are you telling me EDI is..." I searched for the right word. Functioning? Fixed? Resurrected? Alive? "...back?"

Tali and Joker shared a look. I crossed my arms again.

"Show me."


	22. Chapter 22

_1 November, 2186, Aboard the Normandy SR-2_

"Oh, you're shitting me."

"No, we are not 'shitting you,' Shepard," Tali said, giving my choice of phrase a heavy dosage of air-quotes with her sinuous fingers.

I stared down at the table. They'd set up one of our foldable card tables in the AI core and laid EDI's - EDI's what? Platform? Body? - remains on it.

"So what you're saying," I said slowly, "is that you've had her down here, ready to turn on this whole time, and nobody thought to mention it to me?" I did my best to keep my voice level. I didn't like their sneaking around, but if EDI came back, maybe I could dump some of the guilt that was still weighing down my shoulders. Relief and outrage fought silently in my brain.

"Well, that's the thing, Commander," Joker said. "We're not exactly sure she's ready."

"But Tali just said she's gotten all of the... whatever systems were broken back to working condition." I frowned.

Tali nodded. "For all intents and purposes, she should be ready to go, but-"

"But we don't exactly know how the Catalyst affected AIs," Joker finished. "VIs and relays are one thing, but an actual intelligence is... well..."

"Volatile." Tali shrugged. Joker nodded reluctantly in agreement.

"You don't know if she'll hug us or go rogue, vent the CO2 scrubbers into space, suffocate us all to death, and then pose our corpses in degrading ways around the ship." I brought my fingers to my chin as I continued to contemplate EDI's prone form. She looked like the same EDI. Theoretically, she could still be the same EDI, but I didn't know much about AIs and a rogue AI was the last thing we needed aboard the Normandy.

"I wasn't going to put it quite that graphically, but yeah, basically," Joker said.

"Fantastic." I thought for another moment. My mind threw me back to standing in the cargo hold, looking at Grunt in his tank. On the one hand, I could have an invaluable asset. On the other, I could be horribly murdered.

There was really only one option to choose. After all, if Garrus was hard to kill, I was hard to keep dead.

"Do it," I said.

Joker's face lit up and Tali startled.

"Commander are you sure-"

"She said _do it,_ Tali!" Joker snapped. I'd heard him be bratty before - more times than I could count - but I'd never heard his voice get quite as sharp as it did now.

"Wait a second," I said, suddenly thinking of something. I pulled my pistol from my hip, took a couple of steps backwards, assumed my battle stance with both hands braced around my weapon, and aimed at EDI. I'd be damned if I was going to get punched by a robot today, on top of everything else. "Okay. _Now_ do it."

Cautiously, Tali raised her omnitool, but Joker stopped her with a hand.

"Let me," he said. His presence had done a backflip, changing gears from pissed-off-twerp to timid-unassuming-man-child.

He hit a few keys on the AI hub's main screen and we all held our collective breath.

We waited a moment. And then five more moments inched past.

And then EDI sat up with all of the suddenness and rigid fluidity that one would expect from a robot. Tali yelped and jumped a few feet. I kept my concentration trained on our newly-reawakened AI. EDI's attention was occupied entirely by the gun in my hands, despite the sheer joy on her beloved pilot's face and the fact that her beloved pilot was within arm's reach.

All of the lights in the room went out.

The Normandy shuddered to a halt beneath our feet.

"Fuck," I spat and jogged a few steps further backwards. I really, really did not need to get punched by a robot, today.

The orange glow of EDI's visor moved as she stood and looked me up and down.

"Commander, why are you aiming your weapon at me?" she asked.

"EDI, I'm not going to hurt you. Turn the lights on."

"If you're not going to hurt me, lower your weapon."

"I'd really rather keep my weapon where it is, EDI."

"I take issue with that preference, Commander."

"Enough, you two!" Tali interrupted. "We get it. You are both unstoppable forces who always get your way. Good job. Now, EDI, will you turn the lights on if the Commander puts her gun away?"

"Yes." EDI's visor bobbed up and down in the dark.

I sighed. "Fine. Just... promise you won't punch me."

"If you promise not to give me a reason to punch you, Commander."

"Fair enough." I lowered my gun, but kept it in-hand. Just in case.

The lights came back on. The Normandy shook and the engines hummed back to life.

"EDI?" Joker asked, reaching a hand out towards her. I pretended not to notice how badly he was shaking.

"Joker, it's good to see you," she said.

He dropped his hand and blinked. "What'd you call me?"

"Is Joker not your preferred moniker?"

"I... well..."

"I apologize. This was not a seamless transition," EDI said.

I frowned. "What transition?"

"The transition into this platform. It can provide limited-fire ground support and... and..." EDI faltered. "Where are the fires?"

Oh, shit.

"What fires?" Tali asked, clearly thrown off by the course of the conversation.

Shit, shit, shit. Please, universe, don't do this to Joker. The kid's been through enough, for fuck's sake.

Joker rubbed a hand over his face and sat down on the card table. "The fires that started down here when EDI had to forcibly shut down the security in the Cerberus unit's programming."

"EDI, do you remember fighting the Reaper on Tuchanka? Or Rannoch? Do you remember Thessia?" I asked.

"Or... or any of it?" Joker looked up, the last of his dwindling hope showing plainly on his face.

"I do not know to what you are referring," EDI said.

Joker leaned heavily on his elbows, staring down at the ground between his knees. I kept the conversation going before EDI could realize the potential implications of his reaction. At least she hadn't tried to murder anyone, yet.

"Looks like we've got some gaps to fill, memory-wise. Tali, I assume you've got all kinds of diagnostics and whatnot to run, so we can make sure EDI's not... ah..."

"Corrupted," Tali supplied. I nodded.

"I can assure you that I'm fine," EDI said, with what I suspected was a hint of bitterness. I'd been resistant - to say the least - when I'd first learned there was an AI on my ship. Joker and I used to play all kinds of pranks on her, from staging a faked crime scene in the mess hall (we got the entire crew to play along and it made for quite the murder mystery party) to making up words and using them frequently in conversation when we knew she'd be listening in. Eventually, of course, we'd all grown to love her - some of us more than others - and I hoped we'd be able to iron out these bugs so she'd remember that. Among other things.

"While I'm certain that's the case, I'd still like to play things safe, EDI," I said. "You know me."

I gently gripped Joker's shoulder and pulled him to his feet. He said nothing and avoided all of our gazes. He didn't look sad, just thoughtful. Moderately pouty. I led him to the door and, on our way out, I leaned closer to Tali.

"Find a way to fix her, Tali. Things go south, I'll have Donnelly and Adams waiting right outside, okay?" I whispered.

Tali nodded.

The door closed and Joker shrugged out of my grasp. We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. I didn't really know what to say. Usually, our interactions consisted of me telling him to do something, him calling me a tight-ass, and then we'd laugh and go about whatever needed going about. Joker wasn't really one for emotions, and frankly, I liked him that way.

I cleared my throat. "So, uh... Are you..."

"I'm fine," he snapped. He looked down again and his shoulders slackened. "I mean, I'm glad she's back. That's something, right? Even if-"

I waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, Joker. Tali's going to sort her out. You'll be smooching my ship again in no time. Caressing her sweet, sweet bulkheads and whatever else it is you two do."

He pulled a face. "Well, first of all, never phrase it like that again."

I laughed.

"Second, I'll have you know that her bulkheads are not equipped with sensors, so that creepy idea of yours can go back to whatever dark crevice in your twisted brain it crawled out of."

I raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"And third," he said, smiling a little, "thanks, Shepard."

I slapped him on the back and he winced, as usual. "Anytime, Moreau. Now, go get us to Palaven in one piece. We have more important things to do than talk about how you get it on with your aluminum girlfriend."

He flipped me off, still smiling.

"She's steel, tight-ass."

* * *

"Arrival to Palaven, one hour. Going dark," EDI's voice said, echoing through the ship in a way none of us had heard in months.

The main lights on the Normandy turned off, leaving only the backup lights on the floor. Normandy's stealth systems would keep us off of Cerberus's scanners, but, unlike Geth ships, they had windows. We needed to be nothing more than a flicker in the corner of a lookout's eye.

"Was that-" Garrus frowned.

"Yes, it was," I answered. Garrus, Solana, and I were in the Main Battery. Solana was pacing back and forth, I was leaning against the wall, and Garrus was, of course, calibrating his guns. It seemed to be taking his mind off of the situation on Palaven, at least for the moment.

"Didn't think she'd be back on the job, so soon," he said.

I shrugged. "Tali seems to think she's ready to go. Still working out the kinks with her memory, but it'll be good to have EDI back in the field. You know. Assuming she doesn't snap and murder us all."

"Wait," Solana said, "that's an AI? But I thought that Shepard-"

I caught her gaze and she stopped herself. I knew exactly what she was going to say, and I didn't need another reminder of what I did to the synthetics.

"- didn't care for AIs," she finished lamely.

"Things change," I said.

"Remind me of the plan, again?" Solana asked, continuing to pace.

"We land thirty miles outside of Cipritine and make our way to your place. Cerberus is going to be concentrating on the capitol and that's where we need to be."

"So we're going to walk right into the center of the shitstorm," Solana deadpanned.

"Yep."

"Well, I'm glad to see my brother's taste in women hasn't changed."

"Sol," Garrus said in warning, not looking away from his terminal.

I snorted. "What's that supposed to mean? And stop pacing, Sol. You're going to wear a hole in my deck."

Solana stopped and appraised me with her trademark critical expression. "Crazy," she said.

I chuckled. "Yeah, well, let's all hope I'm the right kind of crazy to get us all out of this alive." I pushed myself away from the wall and touched the controls for the Battery door. Before heading back to the CIC, I glanced over my shoulder for one last look at Garrus, standing at his terminal. I knew he'd miss standing there as much as I'd miss seeing him there.

I didn't know exactly how Palaven would play out for all of us, but I knew we'd be away from home for a long time.

* * *

_A/N: Let's go to Palaven, err'body! Let me know what you guys think!_


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: So, I had most of this ready to post yesterday, but then I got carried away with one of the scenes and ended up putting it off another day to re-finish it, and basically the point I'm trying to make here is that there is definitely smut at the end of this chapter. ENJOY THE LEMONY GOODNESS!_

* * *

_5 November, 2186, Cipritine, Palaven_

"I don't know about the rest of you," James said as he kicked off his boots and struggled to worm his way out of his armor, "but I am sick and tired of having to cover myself head-to-toe every time I want to go outside. What kind of intelligent species lives on a planet too irradiated for people to walk around without a shirt on?"

"A highly-evolved kind of intelligent species," Garrus retorted, locking the door behind himself and Vega. "It's not our fault your bodies are too soft to handle Palaven sunshine."

I looked up from the kitchen table where EDI and I were seated and smiled. "What's the matter, Vega, are your biceps not getting enough attention?"

I stood and walked over to my Turian, taking the bag he had over his shoulder and pecking his cheek.

The first couple of days on Palaven had gone about as well as we could have hoped. The situation on the ground was bad, but nowhere near as desperate as it had been when the Reapers hit - according to Solana - and we were able to make it to her home in Cipritine while avoiding Cerberus detection. EDI was working on contacting the Primarch and the rest of us were working on turning Solana's two-story house into a base camp.

Periodically, the ground would shake with the impact of nearby explosions and airstrikes, and I tried not to think about how much the scene outside reminded me of London. Rubble, wrecked vehicles, heavily-armed platoons stationed in city streets.

Although, Garrus told me that last part was a fairly normal sight.

When we'd first arrived in Cipritine, I'd been in awe of it. Even when it was under attack, Palaven really was a silver world of fortresses and fire, like the poems say. Everything - buildings, cars, the citizens' hardened plates - gleamed in the relentless sunlight. It was enough to make me grateful that my helmet came with a powerful UV filter.

I think James was baffled by the sight of so many Turians in actual clothes going about their daily lives - rather than wearing heavy armor and pumping rounds into enemy forces - because he stared at the first Turian family we came across for so long that he upset their children.

That was another thing. Even with all of my required Galactic Civ classes, I'd never seen a juvenile Turian before. They were, frankly, the most adorable fucking things I'd ever seen. It was like someone had taken a shrink-ray to an adult Turian, and somehow the miniaturization of their features yielded the cutest toddlers I could imagine. Maybe it was the fact that they were apex predators too puny to harm a Volus. Maybe it was the awkward way they bobbed their little heads when they walked, as if they had to consciously try not to let their carapaces knock them off-balance. Hell, even their tiny, razor-sharp rows of teeth were precious.

Part of me had wanted to remind Garrus of our last conversation in London, but that was for another time, when we weren't fighting terrorists.

James snorted and threw his bag off of his shoulder, following it with the top half of his armor.

"Whatever," he said. "Next time, you're going on the food run, Lola."

"Oh, yes, that's a great idea," Liara said, "and then we can just hand Shepard over to the Cerberus patrols with a big bow tied around her head."

"Oh, come on." James rolled his eyes. "Lola can make it down to the corner store and back without-"

"Alright, alright," I said, interrupting before we had to witness a second round of Liara and James dueling each other. "Let's stop bickering and get down to business, shall we?"

Truth be told, I didn't like being holed up in any space that wasn't the Normandy for longer than a few hours, but it was necessary and I knew I had to deal with it.

"Yes, Sir," James said.

I ushered the rest of my ground crew to the table with a few waves of my hands. "Status report," I said. "Tell me where we're at and what you need from me."

"Liara and I are just about done with the defenses," Solana said. "And after this, you all are going to help me take the steel plating off of my windows and disable all of the traps, or I will find you and I will hurt you."

I grinned. "Deal."

"We have the windows and doors reinforced, with positions for snipers upstairs in the windows with the best vantage points of the street," Liara elaborated. "We also have spring-loaded traps set up at each entrance, which we'll need to show everyone so we can avoid unnecessary injuries."

"Sounds like a plan." I turned my gaze to Garrus and James. "How'd our supplies run go?"

"We were able to salvage what we could from what's left of the supermarket down the road," Garrus said. "Got a good mix of dextro and levo, should be enough food for everyone for a couple of weeks."

I frowned. "'What's left of the supermarket' - were there looters or something?"

Garrus chuckled. "On Palaven? No. Place just got shelled out. Turians spend their energy more productively in times of crisis. We'd rather pick up a gun and put things right than waste time stealing packaged food and holoscreens."

I rolled my shoulder. It was becoming a habit, at this point, but the damned thing was still aching from time to time.

"EDI, were you able to get ahold of anyone in charge?"

"Yes, Commander," she said. "You will be meeting with Primarch Victus in the morning. His team will send us the coordinates."

"So Victus is still alive and kicking?" A knot untangled in my stomach. At least we knew the head honcho. At least there still _was_ a head honcho. And at least Victus was someone who would meet Cerberus head-on. Not that it was likely that the king-o'-the-Turians would be someone who was afraid to launch military action.

"Yes, it would appear so."

"Fantastic. Thanks, EDI."

"You are welcome."

"Alright." I clapped my hands and rubbed them together. "We're going to rotate watches tonight, so those of you who didn't catch much sleep last night can get some well-deserved rest. Liara and Sol, you've got first shift. Garrus and I will burn the midnight oil. James, you and EDI will cover the early hours. Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Good. I'm fucking hungry."

* * *

I woke with a start. The edges of my nightmare slinked away into darkness, reeking of Husks and Anderson's blood. I grabbed my omni-tool from the bedside table and deactivated its beeping alarm.

Time to burn some midnight oil.

Solana had been kind enough to let Garrus and me use her spare bedroom on the ground floor. Liara had the couch, James had the cobbled-together cot in the second-floor hallway, and EDI didn't need to sleep and had taken to sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over news stories and piecing together the things she'd missed in the last year.

Gunfire sounded on the street outside. I reached for Garrus to wake him, but the space in bed beside me was vacant. I frowned.

Something crashed in the kitchen. I whipped the sheets off of me, grabbed my pistol from the nightstand, and crept across the bedroom to the hall.

Tiptoeing as gingerly as I could, I made it to the kitchen. EDI wasn't at her usual spot at the table. I brandished my weapon at the first sign of movement.

Garrus was leaning against the counter heavily, head bent, shoulders dropped. The faucet was running, but he wasn't actively washing anything. I lowered my gun.

"Garrus, you alright?"

He didn't acknowledge me. On the floor, I could see the shards of a bowl and plate he must have dropped.

"Garrus," I said softly. I laid my Carnifex on the counter and rounded the bar, careful to avoid the shattered remains of Solana's dining set.

"Hey." I reached out and brushed my fingers against his bare shoulder.

He started and whipped around to look at me. His eyes were wide and panicked.

"Woah, woah, woah," I whispered. "It's okay. Just me."

He took a few deep breaths.

"You alright?" I asked again. "Looks like your dishes took a dive."

"Slipped out of my hands," he mumbled. It was clear his mind was elsewhere. Despite my efforts to encourage him to talk about what was happening around us - just like he had done for me so many times on the Normandy - he hadn't said two words about the Cerberus invasion since we'd landed. It wasn't that he was in denial. It was more like he didn't want to start talking about it because he wouldn't be able to stop.

At least, that's what it seemed like.

"Want help cleaning it up?"

"No, Shepard. Sorry I woke you. Go back to bed."

I watched him carefully. He was still foggy.

"No can do, big guy," I said. "We've got the next watch in a few minutes."

He didn't respond and sunk back into his strange, silent funk.

"We need to suit up," I said.

Still nothing. Damn it to hell, now was not the time for pouting.

"Hey!" I said more sharply, gripping his shoulder and shaking him. Finally, he looked at me with some semblance of existing in the current moment.

"We need to get our armor on. Watch duty. Remember?"

He flicked his eyes upwards for a second in what I'd learned to recognize as the Turian equivalent of an eye-roll.

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips. "What was that?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I'm just tired, is all, Shepard."

"Doesn't mean you have to get snotty when I tell you to get ready for patrol."

"Snotty?" Garrus tilted his head and briefly touched a hand to his nose.

I grinned and put my hand over his, lowering it from his face. "Not literally 'snotty." It means you're being a brat."

He scratched his jaw. "Well, I don't mean to be. There's just a lot to process."

"I think I can relate to that. You know. Maybe a little."

He chuckled.

I moved to lean against the counter beside him. In the distance, an explosion rumbled and shook the walls around us.

"Here I was, just getting used to having you back, and then all of this," Garrus said quietly, gesturing over his shoulder. "I'm tired of losing things. Losing people. I'm tired, and I can't do it anymore."

I said nothing, but crept my hand around his waist and pulled him closer.

"Spirits, in the past couple of years, I've lost my damned squad, my damned friends, my damned mate - _twice_ - and now my whole damned planet? _Fuck_ this." He kept his voice down, but it shook with the effort it took to do so.

"Well, if your track record with your _mate_ is any indication," I said, emphasizing his word choice, "you're pretty good at finding the things you lose."

He shifted awkwardly. "Oh- ah- I didn't mean to call you- damn translator must have-"

I smiled and nuzzled against his chest. "It's okay, I like it. Actually, I think I might prefer it."

Garrus snorted. "Prefer it to what?"

"To calling me your girlfriend. 'Mate' seems more fitting. More permanent."

"Oh?" Garrus growled in that particular way that always lit a fire in me. He nipped at my ear.

"Garrus," I said, trying to get his attention.

He kissed the side of my neck.

"Garrus," I repeated, drawing out the syllables in a sing-song voice.

"Mmm?" He slid a finger beneath one strap of my undershirt and pulled it off of my shoulder.

"We need to get ready for our shift."

Mandibles brushed over my throat and I closed my eyes.

"You're not listening to me, are you, Vakarian?"

"No, I'm not," he murmured into my shoulder, planting more kisses there.

"We really should go get-"

He forced me backwards until I was seated on the counter and we were on each other in a second. Arms grappling, fingers and talons scratching, breathing ragged, we kissed and held each other tightly until he pulled away.

"Are you sure you're-" I breathed, and then gasped when he grabbed me around my lower back and yanked me towards him. He ground against me and I sighed.

"I need this," he murmured in my ear. "Need you, Adrienne."

I shivered. "I need you, too."

He lifted my undershirt over my head and my skivvies were on the floor before I knew what was happening. I reached to remove his trousers but he grabbed my hands by my wrists and forced them up against the cabinet above my head.

I frowned a little against his next kiss, confused. He secured my hands with one of his own and his other wandered languidly down my body. I arched into his touch.

Garrus nipped at my neck and collarbone, then traced a string of kisses down my sternum. I wasn't about to complain, but I wasn't keen on getting caught with my trousers down.

He trailed a single talon down over my stomach, and then insistently nudged my thighs apart with his shoulders, kneeling down in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. "Sol and Liara'll be back, s-"

He interrupted with a slow, hard lick against me. I slumped back against the cabinets and curled my toes.

"Garrus Vakarian," I moaned, "you've been doing more research, haven't y- ah!"

Fingers joined his tongue and I let myself forget about our watch shift for a moment. Palaven and Cerberus slipped away. I clutched at his fringe and pulled him closer.

He chuckled, grabbed my wrists again, and taunted me with a sharp talon skimming over my inner thigh. Damn him, he was getting too good at this.

I curved my back. Whispered his name. Garrus lapped and stroked until he'd whipped me into an absolute frenzy. I writhed against the cabinets and fought his hold on my hands.

I bit my lip hard to keep myself from crying out when he finally shoved me over the edge. My legs shook. He watched me tumble through the surge of pleasure and I smiled at him, panting.

"Fuck, Vakarian, that was a new one," I teased.

"Oh, I've got some old favorites in mind, too." His voice was low and husky and hungry, and I wasted no time in wrapping my legs around him when he stood and shuffled out of his pants.

And that's when we heard the front door open, followed by Liara and Sol's muted voices.

Garrus and I froze for a fraction of a second, staring wide-eyed at each other, and then we leapt into action.

I snatched my clothes from the floor, Garrus hopped back into his trousers, and we sprinted for the spare room, choking back bouts of laughter.

I closed the door behind us as quickly and quietly as I could - only then realizing that I'd left my Carnifex in the kitchen - and sunk to the ground, sniggering so hard it hurt. Garrus hauled me to my feet and his hand lingered around mine.

"We need to get ready for watch," he said.

I flicked his collarbone. "Told you so."

"You always do." He pulled me into his arms.

"Then maybe you should listen to me more."

"Maybe I should." His hand stroked through my tangled hair and I sighed.

"Garrus, you're not going to lose Palaven."

"I know."

"I promise."

"I _know_, Shepard," he chuckled. "You're too stubborn to let Cerberus win."

"You're damn right I am."

Knuckles rapped against the door.

"You lazy asses have patrol in thirty seconds. Don't make me come in there," Solana said through the door. "And if you break any more of my dishes, I will just have to start breaking your clumsy damned fingers, Garrus."

"We're coming," I replied. I dressed quickly, the motions of putting on my armor still engraved in muscle memory after all of this time.

"Or, at least, one of us is," Garrus mumbled under his breath.

I snorted and elbowed him, armor clanging against armor.

"We'll see about that, later, Vakarian."

* * *

_A/N: As always, let me know what you guys think! I hope everyone had a good N7 day!_


	24. Chapter 24

_4 November 2186, Cipritine, Palaven_

"Spirits, it's a beautiful day," Garrus said, walking just ahead of Liara and I. "You know. If you disregard the whole terrorist invasion thing."

"We'll take your word for it," I said, voice muffled by my helmet. I hated wearing the damned thing. No peripherals. Fogged up with my breath when I ran. Made my neck cramp. Plus, my shoulder was killing me - it should have been fully-healed, by now, given the amount of medi-gel I'd slapped on it, but it still gave me a nice, sharp twinge every time I moved my arm - and I was tired after a sleepless night of keeping watch.

But, damn it all to hell, we were going to meet the Primarch and we were going to have a plan by the time we got back to Solana's.

Garrus had his armor on, but was the only one of us who went without a helmet, in favor of his visor. Hell, I would have done the same if it didn't mean my face would blister with radiation poisoning after a few minutes.

It did look like a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the trees - if that's what you would call the spiny, twisted foliage that jutted from the ground in manicured rows alongside the street - waved slightly in a breeze. If it weren't for the fact that half of the buildings around us were reduced to rubble, it would have made for a relaxing morning.

As it was, though, we all had our weapons at the ready.

"It'll be good to see Victus again," Liara said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Let's hope he's as glad to see us."

"Why wouldn't he be?" Liara frowned.

"Well, we did kind of let his kid die on our watch."

Garrus shook his head. "He wouldn't hold that against you, Shepard. Victus is a Turian. He and his son knew the potential cost of fighting a war."

"Let's hope he's not as bad of a Turian as you are, then."

"Let's hope," Garrus echoed, his tones reflecting a bizarre mixture of sincerity and sarcasm.

"Head west down the next street, Commander," EDI said over our comms. "You are approximately twenty minutes out from the Primarch's coordinates."

"Thanks, EDI," I said.

"Visor's picking up some heat signatures, Shepard," Garrus said. "About a half-dozen, a few hundred yards out."

"Turian?"

"I don't think so. Burning too hot, most likely wearing atmo protection."

"Fantastic. Keep your eyes open and fan out."

"We know, Shepard," Liara said, giving me a look through the window of her visor. "This isn't exactly our first ground mission with you."

I thought about sticking my tongue out at her in response, but then realized she wouldn't be able to see it and I'd just be licking the inside of my helmet. Fucking helmet.

"I know you know," I said, "Orders still warrant being said aloud, Dr. Sasses-Her-CO-in-Combat-Situations."

"Aye-aye, Commander Likes-the-Sound-of-her-Own-Voice," Liara retorted. I could hear the mirth in her voice, even over the static of the improvised comm band.

Garrus coughed, clearly trying to conceal the beginning of a laugh.

"I think you've been spending too much time around Joker." I grinned. "He's corrupted your peaceful nature, T'Soni."

"A tragedy, to be sure," she sighed melodramatically.

She must have been as wired as I was, being in a war zone for the first time since London. We both tended to get a little punchy right before a fight. I opened my mouth to say something, but movement caught the corner of my eye. Movement and Cerberus logos.

Here we go.

"Contact," I said. There was no need to yell, since we all broadcasted the comm channel into our preferred headgear.

Garrus and Liara took cover to my left and right.

I'd brought my Carnifex, my Widow, and - for luck - my old Alliance-issued missile launcher.

I knelt behind the toppled facade of a house that closely resembled Solana's and switched my pistol for my sniper rifle. I turned at the waist, braced myself against cracked concrete, and sighted the incoming Cerberus troopers.

I spoke quietly. "You two seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I count four. Probably just a patrol," Garrus replied.

"And they haven't spotted us, yet," Liara added.

"Call it, Vakarian," I said. Garrus had a good tactical eye and I liked to let him use it, now and again.

"Liara, you hit the two in the middle with some biotics. Shepard, you've got lefty. Righty and I are going to dance."

I blinked.

The comm channel was silent for a moment.

"Did you two get that?" Garrus asked, the swagger in his voice knocked a half-step off-kilter by uncertainty.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah," I said, smirking, "but did you have to phrase it like that?"

"What's wrong with- How do you mean?"

"I'm going to shoot the guy in the face, I'm not using him to jerk off."

"Oh, now that's just- You don't have to- I didn't mean it like that!" Garrus whispered harshly into his mic.

I chuckled - a glance to my right confirmed that Liara was also shaking with silent laughter - and lined my scope up with "Lefty." The patrol was moving slowly. They definitely weren't expecting us.

"Just say when, hotshot."

"On my mark. Liara, be sure you get both of them with one blast. Clean. We don't need them radioing for backup."

I loved hearing him give orders, like that. I always wondered if it was what he was like on Omega.

"I could be the one to take out a couple of them, if you want," I offered.

"Don't worry, I've got it," Liara said.

"You just focus on rubbing yours out, Shepard."

It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting into laughter and giving away our position. Liara's mic rattled with static as she scraped a hand across her helmet in disbelief.

"You're kidding me," I managed to say.

"Uh... No, I'm not?" Garrus replied, clearly thrown-off again.

"You two need to have a talk about certain euphemisms when we all get back to base camp," Liara said.

Garrus groaned.

"Got that right, T'Soni." I watched as the Cerberus troops drew closer. Only about a hundred yards away, now. Definitely within sniping range.

"Can we please stop turning everything I say into some kind of sexual reference and shoot some damn hostiles?" Garrus growled. He was past being flustered, and now he was getting tetchy.

"Yes, Sir," I said, dropping as much of the amusement from my voice as I could. "Waiting on your mark."

Lefty was still squarely in my sights.

I put my finger on the trigger.

"Now!" Garrus shouted.

The next second, Lefty and Righty were missing their heads and the two other troopers were slammed into a pile of twisted metal with the force of a runaway train.

My Widow kicked more than I remembered. It slammed back against my healing shoulder and I sucked in a breath. Even through my armor, I could feel it tear some of the knitted-together tissue beneath my skin.

"Fuck," I swore.

"Shepard?" Garrus was already on his feet, walking towards me.

Shit, I forgot he could hear me. Fucking helmet with its fucking microphone. I stood and played it off. He had enough to worry about.

"It's okay," I said. "Widow's kick just surprised me."

He didn't believe me, I could tell. He narrowed his eyes.

"I'm fine, Garrus," I said more forcefully. "And we have an appointment to keep."

* * *

The rest of the journey was passed in absolute silence. I wasn't talking because I was too focused on the pain in my damned shoulder, Garrus wasn't talking because he knew I was keeping things from him, and Liara wasn't talking because she could sense our individual frustration and was too polite to interrupt our sulking.

I knocked on the steel door six times, as EDI instructed. The Primarch had chosen an abandoned warehouse for the meeting. No windows, quiet part of town. Smart choice.

An old-fashioned latch on the other side screeched across the door's surface and it opened. As soon as we were inside, out of the sun, I took my helmet off.

Ah. Sweet, sweet relief.

"Commander Shepard," an unfamiliar Turian said, walking over to us, "we'll need you and your escorts to surrender any weapons before meeting with Primarch Victus."

There were a dozen members of the Turian military in the warehouse, that I could count. Doubtless, there were even more that I couldn't see.

I cocked an eyebrow and made no move to hand over my babies. I took a step towards him and gave him my best, most scathing once-over. It wasn't hard to muster, given my discomfort. Injuries always managed to make me irritable.

"You know who I am, so I'll assume you know my reputation," I said. "And that means you should also know that that line has never fucking worked on me. We'll be keeping our guns, thanks very much. If Victus has an issue with that, we can talk another time about saving his planet."

"That won't be necessary, Commander," Victus called, appearing from an office inside the warehouse and jogging over to join us. He looked remarkably like he had the first time we'd met. Full armor, battle-worn. I was glad to see he still preferred a hands-on approach to leadership. "My apologies. Turians are nothing if not purists, when it comes to protocol."

"You can say that again. In fact, you can carve that into stone and turn it into a damn monument, Sir." I grinned and shook Victus's hand.

"I'll have my people get right on that," he said.

"Glad to see you made it through the war in one piece, Sir." Out of courtesy, I swung my Widow over my shoulder and holstered it on my back. Liara and Garrus followed suit with their own weapons.

"Spirits, call me Victus, Commander. You, of all people, have earned that right."

I suspected it was a rarity for a Primarch to be so informal with strangers - human strangers - given the awkward shuffling that was happening between the feet of every Turian in the room, including mine.

"I'll try my best, but old habits die hard."

"And so do you, I hear."

"That's a story for another time," I said. "We have a planet to save."

Victus sighed. "Indeed, we do."

He started walking back towards the office. Garrus, Liara, and I followed.

"Cerberus came out of nowhere. Our Fleet is still recovering from our front in the war, and with the Reaper tech we've seen on the Cerberus ships... It's bad, Commander."

"Well, luckily for you, Cerberus made a mistake," Liara said.

I looked over my shoulder at her, questioningly.

Victus's mandibles shifted, showing his confusion. "A mistake?"

"They pissed off Shepard," Garrus explained. "People who do that don't tend to live very long."

I grinned.

"You know, I think I might have heard something to that effect," Victus said. "And my Communications Officers tell me that you've intercepted information about Cerberus operations."

"We have," I said. "So let's plot Cerberus's well-deserved demise, shall we?"

Victus held open the door to the office for us.

"I'm glad you made it out of the war in one piece, too, Commander," he said.

* * *

_A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! I love reading feedback and it really does spur me to write more._


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: So sorry for the delay! I've been having some writer's block, the past couple of days, so this is a pretty short chapter. I have the next couple mapped out, though, so I should be back to the every-other-day schedule after this, for a while! _

* * *

_4 November, 2186, Cipritine, Palaven_

"Their primary weapon is devastating our major cities. We don't know how to defend against it. Its effects are remarkably similar to the weapons we saw on Reaper ships, but-"

"They're similar because they're the same weapon, unfortunately," I interrupted Victus and leaned forward on my elbows, ignoring the twang of protest from my shoulder. "We're not sure how Cerberus managed to get ahold of them, but the records we obtained suggest they have four Reaper MHD Cannons, from Capital Ships."

"That _is_ unfortunate."

The office was stuffy and warm. I wanted to take off the rest of my armor, but I was only wearing my thin under-armor beneath it, and then I'd have to go through the lengthy process of strapping each piece back on before I could go outside.

Sweat beaded on Liara's forehead, too, but Garrus and Victus looked perfectly comfortable. I was beginning to understand why Garrus always complained so much whenever our travels led us through snow and frost.

The mental image of him scowling at me on Noveria - sitting cross-legged in his hotel room between missions, all of the blankets bundled around him - flashed across my mind and the corner of my mouth twitched upwards. It'd been a while since I'd thought about the old days. Well, I guess they were the _old_ old days, now. They seemed like someone else's life. Garrus was so different, then. Fresh-faced. Still trying to find his footing after leaving C-Sec. Idealistic to the point that it would have been a fault, had he not also been one of the sharpest people I'd ever worked with.

Hell, _I_ was different, then. The Spectre persona that fit me like a glove these days was a pair of boots I had no idea how to fill, back then. Still afraid to make tough calls.

I stopped myself before I could think of Virmire and made a mental note to read some Shelley during my next stretch of downtime, for Ashley.

I recited my favorite poem in my head.

_Nothing beside remains. Round the decay _

_Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare _

_The lone and level sands stretch far away. _

"Hold on," Garrus said, snapping me back to the present. "Primarch, you said you were seeing Reaper tech from the Cerberus troops. What other Reaper tech do they have?"

Well, shit. That was a good question. I was embarrassed to admit that it hadn't occurred to me. I didn't admit it aloud, of course. Just thought it to myself and rolled my goddamned shoulder another goddamned time.

"It's difficult to tell," Victus said. "It's... It's not indoctrination, but..." He trailed off and clenched his jaw.

"But...?" Liara asked. Her brow creased in that way only Liara's brow could.

"But it looks like it." Victus crossed his arms. "A hell of a lot like it."

"What do you mean it 'looks like' it? How can it not be indoctrination if it looks like indoctrination?" My head was spinning as I asked the question. I could feel a piece of my confidence slipping out of my spine and slinking away into a darkened corner somewhere. I already killed the fucking Reapers once. Why couldn't they stay dead?

It took a moment for the irony of my silent question to sink in.

"It doesn't make enslaved turncoats, it makes corpses, but the victims exhibit similar physical symptoms to indoctrination." Every word our of Victus's mouth was strained and carefully-chosen.

I frowned. "Like?"

"A certain grayness to the skin and blackened circulatory structures throughout the body."

"And then they die?" I asked.

Victus nodded.

"So how do you know it's related to Cerberus? Could be disease."

"Or it could be a biological weapon completely unrelated to the Reapers," Liara suggested.

Victus thought for a moment. "I suppose the latter is possible. Disease is unlikely. It's too fast-acting. The first cases were reported just hours after the invasion started. In a matter of days, the death toll is in the thousands."

"Fuck me," I said, rubbing my forehead. Cerberus just wasn't going to make this easy on us. This was all too much. Way, way too much.

Garrus rumbled his sub-harmonics in a way I'd come to associate with his discomfort. I looked at him and pursed my lips.

"Pardon my language, Pri- Err- Victus," I added for Garrus's benefit, sliding my gaze over to rest on Victus again.

Victus laughed. "No need, Commander. I'd say the situation warrants it."

I sighed. "It certainly fucking does. How are Palaven's defenses holding up?"

"As well as could be expected. We can handle their ground troops well enough, but that primary weapon needs to be our focus. It rips right through shields, barriers, buildings, everything. We can't defend our cities if there isn't a city left to defend."

"Where are they focusing the attacks?" Garrus asked.

"Cipritine's seen the worst of it, of course. The MHD Cannon attacks have been focused here and in Zegema. Ground attacks have been constant in every major city we can contact."

"Damn," Garrus cursed.

I looked at him and raised my brows. I'd always been terrible at geography and a city called Zegema wasn't ringing any bells.

Garrus rubbed his mandibles with a hand. "Zegema is the center for manufacturing on Palaven. All of our military strength means nothing without guns and vehicles."

"They're hitting you where it hurts," I said.

"They are." Victus stood and clasped his hands behind his back. "And all of this is bad enough, without the damage to our infrastructures caused by the Reaper invasion. The dust has settled and the air is breathable, but many cities are still without power and water."

"Well, shit." I leaned backwards in my chair and crossed my arms. I almost made a crack about how the Turians shouldn't have opened the relay before they'd gotten their pants back on, but then I thought about Thessia. If the Apien Crest relay hadn't opened, Cerberus would have gone to Thessia first. And if Palaven was this bad, I couldn't imagine what Thessia was going through.

I glanced at Liara, who had gone silent at some point during the conversation. Her knuckles were paled by her grip on the edge of the table. Her jaw and neck were taut.

"So where do you need us, Victus?" I asked.

"We need you and your people to take down those MHD weapons. As long as those are operational, any other moves we make are useless. They're expecting an attack from our side, I'm sure, but-"

"But they're sure as fuck not expecting us," I said, cracking into a grin. I stood. The sweat on my back squished against my armor.

"We haven't been able to get close enough to the weapons to tell exactly how they work or how they're mobilized," Victus said. "But we can point you in the right direction."

"Good. I've been itching to spill some more Cerberus blood." I turned and opened the door to the office, savoring the breath of slightly-less-stagnant air that greeted me. Garrus and Liara stood and followed me out.

I heard Victus speak under his voice. "You've got a live one, there, Vakarian."

Garrus chuckled. "You have no idea, Sir."

I smirked and kept walking.

* * *

"Mako Company is set to go. How're your people looking, Victus?" I asked.

"Primed for action, as always," Victus answered.

Victus was going to lead his squad to Zegema in order to take down the MHD weapons attacking the manufacturing plants, while I was going to lead my band of miscreants into the heat surrounding Cipritine. Garrus, Liara, and I would scout out the situation, and then Solana would lead the rest after us in a full-on assault. EDI was going to work on re-establishing communications with other cities on Palaven in order to eventually piece together a united front against Cerberus.

We had a plan. For the first time since before the Catalyst, I felt some semblance of knowing what the hell I was doing.

"Good." I unholstered my Carnifex.

"I thought we agreed not to let Shepard name squads anymore," Liara whispered. She was standing a few yards away, and I suspected she'd intended for me to hear her.

"She can name us whatever she wants, as far as I'm concerned. So long as I never have to actually get into a Mako with her behind the wheel again," Garrus said quietly. He caught my eye and winked at me.

I grinned and flipped them both off. "I heard that. I'll have you two know I'm an excellent driver. Never got us killed, right?"

"Of course, Shepard." Garrus adjusted his visor.

"Damn straight. What's our exit strategy?" I returned my attention to Victus.

"Underground tunnels." Victus nodded to his left. "The trains aren't running anymore and there's a station just outside. We can split up and stay clear of Cerberus troops for as long as possible."

"Underground tunnels," I repeated. I couldn't help the disdain in my voice.

"Underground tunnels." Victus's mandibles tightened against his jaw.

"That's a terrible idea. You know that's a terrible idea, right?" I checked the heat sink in my pistol and gave Victus my most scolding look. "If Cerberus finds us, we'll have nowhere to run and we'll be slaughtered."

"Cerberus hasn't been patrolling the tunnels. They won't find us." Victus loaded a fresh heat sink into his own gun.

"Yeah. Sure. Remember I told you what a bad idea it was when Cerberus finds us, down there. Remember that I told you so, right before they blow us to tiny fucking bits." I stalked off.

Damn it. I thought Turians were supposed to have tactically-sound minds. The overall plan was still solid, but this exit was not a smart move by any means. Even the most harebrained Alliance recruit would recognize that an underground tunnel was not the place to be when your city was overrun by hostiles.

"Don't worry," Garrus said behind me, "you won't have to remember she told you so. She'll remind you."

"I heard that, too, Vakarian," I called over my shoulder.

"Heard what?" he called back. "I was just telling him how beautiful you are when you're right about things."

"Yeah, yeah." I grinned. "That must be why I'm always so fucking ravishing. Everyone, move out!"

Liara, Garrus, and Victus were on my heels, but the rest of the Turians only glared at the back of my head.

"You heard the lady!" Victus shouted. "Move out!"

* * *

_A/N: Ten points to whoever can guess where I got the name Zegema from! Definitely drew a little bit of inspiration from my hours spent on the Mass Effect Wiki. _

_Also, another ten points to whoever can name the Shelley poem I quoted WITHOUT googling the lines._

_As always, I love, LOVE reviews!_


End file.
